Clean Your Bathroom, Clean Your Boyfriend

I've recently decided that one of my most hated chores is the cleaning of the shower.  I don't know why - it never used to be - but now the cleaning of the shower has become the chore of chores.  It seems to take ages. I'm faced with never ending walls of tile and glass.  I'm taunted by a little ball of hair that likes to lurk in the corner.  I get soaked.  I think the trouble here is the fact that the shower head is fixed to the wall.  In England I could grab the shower hose and use it to get my spray on.  Here this is not an option.  If I want to get some spray action going then I have to make use of a jug.  And quite frankly the jug just don't cut it.  Since when are jugs good for spraying?  They're not.  They're good for pouring.  Any hoo, Monster Noggin had the suggestion of cleaning the shower whilst in the shower.  Grab a few bathroom wipes, give the shower a clean, give yourself a clean (not with the bathroom wipes mind you) and you've done two jobs in one.  A cunning plan.  It also doesn't matter if you get a soaking.  It became even more of a cunning plan when I actually persuaded Mystical Roo to clean the shower.  I was patiently (sort of) waiting for use of the sink whilst Mystical Roo had a shower.    On a side note, if you turn on the hot tap whilst your Mystical Roo is in the shower you can extract all sorts of noises.  But you also get told off and splashed.  So, patiently waiting for use of the sink.  Pondering the household chores for the week.  I figure there's no harm in asking.  So I politely suggested to Mystical Roo that he might like to take a couple of bathroom wipes and give the shower a bit of scrub.  He was most receptive to this offer and immediately set about scrubbing the tiles.  I figured, whilst I wasn't doing anything, I may as well do the other side.  So there we were, Mystical Roo inside the shower, Little Stalky outside the shower, cleaning the shower.  We make a good team.  That shower was done in no time.  And I must say, I think Mystical Roo does a better job than I.  He's very thorough.  He was right in the grout, scrubbing away, throwing used bathroom wipes over the shower and requesting further supplies.  I should get him to do this more often.  Then not only do I get a clean boyfriend, I get a clean shower too.  Bargain.  

Spider in the Bed!

Another poor photograph courtesy of a camera phone
and my very shaky hand

This morning I was innocently changing the bed sheets when out pops this beast of a spider.  Ok, maybe "beast" is a bit over the top but he certainly wasn't a baby.  Now I'm not particularly fussed by spiders but finding one in your bed is still a bit of a shocker.  You start to question how long he was hiding there.  Was he snuggled up to me last night?  Did he crawl across my face?  Was he nestled in Mystical Roo's beard?  So many questions and quite frankly not many answers.  The spider didn't seem happy when I tried to remove the bed sheets.  I'd obviously disturbed him.  I eyed him closely and decided he probably wasn't deadly.  Probably.  He certainly wasn't a Redback and didn't have any evil fangs or anything so I ruled him out as a Funnel Web too.  Those are the only deadly spiders that I'm aware of.  I'm not sure I've seen anything like him before.  He was fairly large, brown but not a Huntsman.  Nowhere near big enough to be a Huntsman.  Maybe he was a baby Huntsman?  He had a fairly large body but quite spindly legs.  So I told the spider that he was welcome in the house if he agreed to eat flies but he was not welcome in the bed.  Spiders in the house I can handle.  Spiders in the bed is just wrong.  So I urged him to climb aboard a few sheets of tissue and then promptly escorted him back into the lounge.  I can already hear the cries from Bear Z, Monster Noggin and El Kenco - kill the spider!  Squash the spider!  Don't let it out of your sight!  But I'm afraid he's well out of my sight.  I lost track of him when I returned to the removing of my bed sheets.  I just hope wherever he is, he's eating plenty of fruit flies!

Beard Appreciation

This is the type of beard Mystical Roo is
currently sporting.  He claims Brad Pitt
copied him.  I don't know. 

Mystical Roo has a beard.  He's had a beard for about four or five years now.  It snuck onto his face one day and then never left.  I've always been of the opinion that hairy is scary but I've become accustomed to the beard.  Somehow, that beard has worked its way into my heart.  I have accepted the beard.  I even get use out of the beard if some chin scratching, pondering action is required.  I can stroke the beard without having to actually grow a beard.  I'm not even sure I could grow a beard but you just never know.  But whilst I've come to accept the beard as part of life I don't think I've ever shown any particular appreciation for it.  Sometimes I'll try to plait it but I don't think that's really showing it appreciation as such.  Mystical Roo got some actual beard appreciation in the form of three youths who liked his beard so much that they felt the need to actually yell about it.  Whilst walking on the other side of the road, considering I'm deaf as a post, I was the only one who actually heard these kids yelling "cool beard dude" and "dude, cool beard".  They might have just shouted "beard" at one point but I can't be sure.  When no one else paid them any attention I had to wonder whether I was hallucinating, my mind conjuring up images of beard appreciating teenagers.  You'd think my brain could come up with better hallucinations!  Then I figured Mystical Roo was too cool to acknowledge the kids.  He has a beard you know.  You don't just talk to anyone.  I mentioned this to Mystical Roo who claimed to have no knowledge of the kids yelling at his beard.  Maybe the beard had heard?  Mystical Roo certainly hadn't.  I went back to my original conclusion of tea induced hallucinations.  But it turns out Mystical Roo had seen the teenagers he just hadn't heard them.  Well I heard them and I promptly informed him that they were yelling praise at the beard.  I think both the beard and Mystical Roo were pleased with this development.  Personally, I think the teenagers need to find something better to do on a Monday afternoon than shout at random strangers and their beards.  But what do I know.  

The Curse

Well, it's the bank holiday weekend and even in Australia the weather for a long weekend never seems to be good.  This weekend will be no exception.  After what seemed like weeks of glorious sunshine we've now hit chilly temperatures of just 16 degrees and have been forecast wind and rain.  All weekend.  Marvellous!  But I blame myself for this.  Two weekends ago I was working and we were in the midst of a mini heatwave.  These last two weekends I've been off and the weather has been miserable.  It's a family curse.  We actually attract bad weather.  And it's not just rain and things. Oh no.  We'll bring on hurricanes if you're not careful.  We'll cause a monsoon in the dry season.  It's probably my family that's melting the polar ice caps!  We don't always have the best of luck when it comes to weather.  It can be glorious one day but watch out.  If one of us is bound for your country then you can guarantee that the moment we step off the plane then something funky will happen.  You may even get struck by lightning.  We have that affect.  I did warn Mystical Roo about this problem, I even thought he might balance things out but it seems I still manage to screw up the weather.  And because I'm off this long weekend it means everyone will have to suffer with me.  You remember the floods I reported on a while back?  Yes, I was there.  In the midst of it.  I just wish I could use my powers for good.  I wish I could bring on the sunshine.  With Rabby and Bear Z set to land in November and then stay for three months, if Australia has it's craziest summer yet then we'll know why.