Little Stalky Smells Fish

I was chatting to Mystical Roo and Monster Noggin about going to the gym and I started remembering various embarrassing Little Stalky moments.  The type of moments that still make you cringe, even many years down the line.  Like flying off the back of a treadmill and landing on your face.  The worst thing about that was it was through my own complete stupidity that I ended up taking a nose dive.  When preparing to take a break from the treadmill whilst it's still moving at full speed, be sure to remove both feet at the same time.  Don't take one off and leave the other on.  Because if one foot goes shimmying to the end of the treadmill, you can be sure that the rest of your body will try to follow.  Not cool.  But this is not the incident I was thinking about.  This incident started with dinner.  Back in England, the night before the gym session in question, Mystical Roo was cooking dinner.  It was a smoked mackerel I think but that doesn't really matter.  All you need to know is that fish stunk.  Really stunk.  And my pre-packed gym bag (I'm organised like that you see), coat and scarf were sat just outside the kitchen door in the hallway.  When you cook and eat stinky fish it isn't always obvious how stinky it is until the next day because you kind of become used to the smell.  I didn't realise how stinky it was until when I was sat at work with my gym bag under my desk and even then I didn't click what it was.  I remember sitting behind the computer and wondering who was eating fish for dinner.  Then it occurred to me that this fish eater was eating fish at a peculiar time of day.  When the fish smell continued to linger it still didn't occur to me that I could be responsible.  I spent a whole day at work with my stinky gym bag, which had absorbed all the fish smell from the previous night's dinner and I had no idea it was me.  God knows what my colleagues must have thought.  That maybe I was unclean?  Or had a fish stashed somewhere for mysterious and possibly sinister reasons.  Why didn't someone tell me the fish smell was lurking around me!  Dude, you smell like fish, or something along those lines would have done the job.  I guess everyone's too polite.  Anyway, I spent the day with my fish smell before heading upstairs to the gym.  I changed into my tracksuit and stuff but wasn't really paying much attention before I entered the gym.  I went straight to the cross trainer, casting a mistrusting gaze at the treadmill and hopped on.  Only then did it click.  Then, surrounded by fellow gym goers and in a small space.  Then I realised that the fish smell was me.  I was smelly fish girl!  Oh the shame.  The smell seems to grow with every move I make and I can feel eyes glancing in my direction.  As everything falls into place I want to protest and explain.  I want to prove that I'm not unclean.  It was the fish!  The dinner from last night!  I'm not unhygienic.  And then what to do next.  The longer I stay, the more I will inflict the fish smell on everyone.  But if I leap up and disappear after less than 2 minutes on the cross trainer, everyone will know that I know that they can smell the fish smell.  Maybe I could fake an injury or perhaps extreme lack of fitness.  A bad idea as this will possibly result in another nose dive.  In the end I can't take the fish smell anymore and I bolt.  But with dignity.  Slowly and with my head held high.  Yes, I smell of fish.  I'm fish girl.  But I'm leaving now and we shall discuss it no more.  I returned home that night and informed Mystical Roo we would never be having that fish dish again.