The Gas Leak

Over the weekend, me and the gang - or rather the gang and me - set about moving furniture from Ammy and Treacle's flat to what will now be Ammy and Treacle's house.  We've done a fair few moves in our time here in Australia and as always I try my best to be helpful but more often than not just get in the way.  I did offer vague assistance with the moving of a fridge (no tiny skateboard this time) but was relieved when Monster Noggin arrived to help maneuver the thing up some stairs.  I'm not known for my strength, coordination or balance so moving a massive fridge is not really on my list of skills.  But this isn't about the fridge.  This isn't even really about furniture at all.  This is about gas.  And I'm not talking dried apricots.  Actual don't-light-a-match style gas.  We'd all caught a whiff of the gas in the corridor by the flat but hadn't thought that much of it because Ammy said she'd smelt the gas before and reported it to the estate agents.  We continued moving furniture, going up and down in the lift, back and forth in the car and we continued to smell the gas.  We even joked at one point that it was the gas that was making us all giggly and weird.  It wasn't that kind of gas either.  It just so happens that we're all giggly and weird.  So when we'd finished moving we forgot about the gas.  Mystical Roo, Monster Noggin and I decided to hit the beach for a surf.  Monster Noggin had a new wetsuit to break in, Mystical Roo is officially addicted to surfing and I had a book that needed reading.  So when we drove past the flat we were intrigued to see the presence of a fire engine and about four firemen lurking outside.  We all exchanged knowing nods.  It was the gas!  Whilst we were out at the beach, Treacle returned to the flat to lock up and pumped the firemen for information.  Apparently someone else - not us - had moved out about a week ago and knocked a gas tap or something on the way out.  Gas had just been pumping out for about a week.  So we really had been smelling a gas leak!  The moral of this story?  Never trust gas.  Gas, in its various forms, is rarely a good thing.  If something smells funky - blame it on the gas!

The Lizard Groweth

I've previously made mention of the lizard who lives in reception.  We think he works for management as he spends a lot of time in their office.  Anyway, the lizard hasn't been seen for a while.  Months in fact.  But the lizard made himself well and truly known on Friday afternoon.  A new member of staff was doing the hoovering, dragging around the hoover of doom and then came in to announce that a massive lizard had just appeared.  The lizard wizard!  Why we hadn't seem him in so long.  But evidently he's been living in reception all this time...and eating a lot of something.  Because  the lizard has grown somewhat since we last saw him.  Maybe that's why we don't have an issue with flies.  Maybe that's why the biscuit barrel depletes at a speedy rate.  The lizard has been gorging and the lizard has been growing.  He disappeared under a desk and we tried to lure him out but the lizard was having none of it.  We'd obviously disturbed him with the hoover and he'd popped out to make his presence known.  Then he scarpered.  So the lizard still lives in reception.  The lizard continues to lurk.  But will he continue to grow?  Will we eventually be faced with a dinosaur like lizard.  Watch this space!

International Trolley Dude Code

There have been a number of Trolley Dude spottings of late.  He's back and badder than ever.  Trolley Dude totally has his groove back.  There's no sign of any other Trolley Dude imposters, Trolley Dude isn't hiding under hats or skulking around.  Trolley Dude has his crown back and he's loving it.  He's been on top form, chasing after trolleys, whipping them into line and basically putting on a show for all to see.  I'd even go so far as to say Trolley Dude has been doing Trolley Stunts.  He's been riding the trolleys.  Setting the trolleys off on a roll and the clambering atop them.  Balancing on the trolleys.  He's telling the world that he is the trolley master. Now we're all too nervous to actually approach Trolley Dude but we've developed a code to let each other know that Trolley Dude has been spotted.  We can silently acknowledge a Trolley Dude sighting and in turn show our appreciation for the Trolley Dude that none of us can talk to.  It's a hand gesture, one you might see at a rock concert.  Or a Trolley Dude convention.  Make a fist, extend index finger and pinky, rotate wrist from side to side and silently think "duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude".  That is the Trolley Dude code.  What I like to think of as the international Trolley Dude code.  When one stumbles across a Trolley Dude it's important to follow the code.  Every time I see my Trolley Dude (yes I've claimed him) I use the sign.  I tell the world that I've seen the Trolley Dude.  Those who know the code - Mystical Roo and Monster Noggin - will return the gesture.  They'll acknowledge Trolley Dude in all his Trolley Dude glory.  It's an art. 

Little Stalky's Spring Garden

I thought it was about time we had a garden update.  I know you'll all be wondering otherwise.  Oh, Little Stalky, what's happening with the garden.  Oh, Little Stalky, is everything still alive?  Well yes.  Things are looking good.  And as it's a beautiful day today I thought it would be a good time to take a picture.  Especially seeing as how my last photograph was taken in the rain.  You'll notice this photo is actually of good quality.  The reason?  I used Mystical Roo's actual camera, rather than my dodgy camera phone, and it had hand stabilising technology.  Handy.  Tee hee.  Any hoo, check it out.  Little Stalky's spring garden.  The mint has recently been chopped back as Rabby suggested it was a good addition to the compost.  Minty fresh compost.  Yeah.  But mint grows like anything so he'll be back to his bushy self soon enough.  The thyme has flowered this year and it actually seems much healthier for it.  It's less woody than before and seems fuller.  Good work, thyme.  You'll be surprised to hear that the coriander (touch wood) is still very much alive.  I've been poking him daily to check the moisture levels in his soil and watering him accordingly.  I guess we'll just have to see how he does when the really hot weather arrives.  The rosemary is loving his new pot.  He's been upgraded to a white bucket and seems to be growing bigger because of it.  I've learnt that he does not appreciate too much water and after adjustments to his schedule, seems to be thriving.  The chilli plant isn't up to much as yet but you know he'll be doing good things in the summer.  I almost forgot about the parsley, who is hiding behind the rosemary.  You probably can't see him.  Anyway, drama queen that he is I haven't repotted him and he seems fine.  Nice and green, lots of growth.  I like it.  The lemon tree has lots of lemons growing but only one new leaf.  I don't know what he's up to at the moment.  Lots of lemons but a total of three leaves, one of which is new.  Maybe he just needs time.  I bought him some special lemon feed and that seemed to cheer him up.  Both strawberry plants look happy but no strawberries as of yet.  I think they come later in the year.  And look at the size of the tomato plants!  They're getting bigger by the day.  I hope the pots will be big enough for them.  They're already flowering so I think we'll have a good harvest from them.  Now, empty containers I hear you ask.  Yes indeed.  Or not so empty.  Mystical Roo and I recently planted some rocket and some basil in the two long, brown pots on the ledge.  They're started poking their heads through the soil but they both look the same so I have no idea what's growing where.  But there's growth!  And that's the main thing.  In the empty white bucket - next to the lemon tree - I've planted some cottage garden mix, which recently arrived in the post along with a free sample of fertiliser.  Yates garden club this is.  I do like the free stuff.  Anyway, I tend to grow edible stuff but I figured there was no harm in seeing if some pretty flowers would grow.  I could put them in a vase.  They only went in a couple of days ago so no growth from them as yet.  So there we have it.  Little Stalky's spring garden.

Clean Your Bathroom, Clean Your Boyfriend

I've recently decided that one of my most hated chores is the cleaning of the shower.  I don't know why - it never used to be - but now the cleaning of the shower has become the chore of chores.  It seems to take ages. I'm faced with never ending walls of tile and glass.  I'm taunted by a little ball of hair that likes to lurk in the corner.  I get soaked.  I think the trouble here is the fact that the shower head is fixed to the wall.  In England I could grab the shower hose and use it to get my spray on.  Here this is not an option.  If I want to get some spray action going then I have to make use of a jug.  And quite frankly the jug just don't cut it.  Since when are jugs good for spraying?  They're not.  They're good for pouring.  Any hoo, Monster Noggin had the suggestion of cleaning the shower whilst in the shower.  Grab a few bathroom wipes, give the shower a clean, give yourself a clean (not with the bathroom wipes mind you) and you've done two jobs in one.  A cunning plan.  It also doesn't matter if you get a soaking.  It became even more of a cunning plan when I actually persuaded Mystical Roo to clean the shower.  I was patiently (sort of) waiting for use of the sink whilst Mystical Roo had a shower.    On a side note, if you turn on the hot tap whilst your Mystical Roo is in the shower you can extract all sorts of noises.  But you also get told off and splashed.  So, patiently waiting for use of the sink.  Pondering the household chores for the week.  I figure there's no harm in asking.  So I politely suggested to Mystical Roo that he might like to take a couple of bathroom wipes and give the shower a bit of scrub.  He was most receptive to this offer and immediately set about scrubbing the tiles.  I figured, whilst I wasn't doing anything, I may as well do the other side.  So there we were, Mystical Roo inside the shower, Little Stalky outside the shower, cleaning the shower.  We make a good team.  That shower was done in no time.  And I must say, I think Mystical Roo does a better job than I.  He's very thorough.  He was right in the grout, scrubbing away, throwing used bathroom wipes over the shower and requesting further supplies.  I should get him to do this more often.  Then not only do I get a clean boyfriend, I get a clean shower too.  Bargain.  

Spider in the Bed!

Another poor photograph courtesy of a camera phone
and my very shaky hand

This morning I was innocently changing the bed sheets when out pops this beast of a spider.  Ok, maybe "beast" is a bit over the top but he certainly wasn't a baby.  Now I'm not particularly fussed by spiders but finding one in your bed is still a bit of a shocker.  You start to question how long he was hiding there.  Was he snuggled up to me last night?  Did he crawl across my face?  Was he nestled in Mystical Roo's beard?  So many questions and quite frankly not many answers.  The spider didn't seem happy when I tried to remove the bed sheets.  I'd obviously disturbed him.  I eyed him closely and decided he probably wasn't deadly.  Probably.  He certainly wasn't a Redback and didn't have any evil fangs or anything so I ruled him out as a Funnel Web too.  Those are the only deadly spiders that I'm aware of.  I'm not sure I've seen anything like him before.  He was fairly large, brown but not a Huntsman.  Nowhere near big enough to be a Huntsman.  Maybe he was a baby Huntsman?  He had a fairly large body but quite spindly legs.  So I told the spider that he was welcome in the house if he agreed to eat flies but he was not welcome in the bed.  Spiders in the house I can handle.  Spiders in the bed is just wrong.  So I urged him to climb aboard a few sheets of tissue and then promptly escorted him back into the lounge.  I can already hear the cries from Bear Z, Monster Noggin and El Kenco - kill the spider!  Squash the spider!  Don't let it out of your sight!  But I'm afraid he's well out of my sight.  I lost track of him when I returned to the removing of my bed sheets.  I just hope wherever he is, he's eating plenty of fruit flies!

Beard Appreciation

This is the type of beard Mystical Roo is
currently sporting.  He claims Brad Pitt
copied him.  I don't know. 

Mystical Roo has a beard.  He's had a beard for about four or five years now.  It snuck onto his face one day and then never left.  I've always been of the opinion that hairy is scary but I've become accustomed to the beard.  Somehow, that beard has worked its way into my heart.  I have accepted the beard.  I even get use out of the beard if some chin scratching, pondering action is required.  I can stroke the beard without having to actually grow a beard.  I'm not even sure I could grow a beard but you just never know.  But whilst I've come to accept the beard as part of life I don't think I've ever shown any particular appreciation for it.  Sometimes I'll try to plait it but I don't think that's really showing it appreciation as such.  Mystical Roo got some actual beard appreciation in the form of three youths who liked his beard so much that they felt the need to actually yell about it.  Whilst walking on the other side of the road, considering I'm deaf as a post, I was the only one who actually heard these kids yelling "cool beard dude" and "dude, cool beard".  They might have just shouted "beard" at one point but I can't be sure.  When no one else paid them any attention I had to wonder whether I was hallucinating, my mind conjuring up images of beard appreciating teenagers.  You'd think my brain could come up with better hallucinations!  Then I figured Mystical Roo was too cool to acknowledge the kids.  He has a beard you know.  You don't just talk to anyone.  I mentioned this to Mystical Roo who claimed to have no knowledge of the kids yelling at his beard.  Maybe the beard had heard?  Mystical Roo certainly hadn't.  I went back to my original conclusion of tea induced hallucinations.  But it turns out Mystical Roo had seen the teenagers he just hadn't heard them.  Well I heard them and I promptly informed him that they were yelling praise at the beard.  I think both the beard and Mystical Roo were pleased with this development.  Personally, I think the teenagers need to find something better to do on a Monday afternoon than shout at random strangers and their beards.  But what do I know.  

The Curse

Well, it's the bank holiday weekend and even in Australia the weather for a long weekend never seems to be good.  This weekend will be no exception.  After what seemed like weeks of glorious sunshine we've now hit chilly temperatures of just 16 degrees and have been forecast wind and rain.  All weekend.  Marvellous!  But I blame myself for this.  Two weekends ago I was working and we were in the midst of a mini heatwave.  These last two weekends I've been off and the weather has been miserable.  It's a family curse.  We actually attract bad weather.  And it's not just rain and things. Oh no.  We'll bring on hurricanes if you're not careful.  We'll cause a monsoon in the dry season.  It's probably my family that's melting the polar ice caps!  We don't always have the best of luck when it comes to weather.  It can be glorious one day but watch out.  If one of us is bound for your country then you can guarantee that the moment we step off the plane then something funky will happen.  You may even get struck by lightning.  We have that affect.  I did warn Mystical Roo about this problem, I even thought he might balance things out but it seems I still manage to screw up the weather.  And because I'm off this long weekend it means everyone will have to suffer with me.  You remember the floods I reported on a while back?  Yes, I was there.  In the midst of it.  I just wish I could use my powers for good.  I wish I could bring on the sunshine.  With Rabby and Bear Z set to land in November and then stay for three months, if Australia has it's craziest summer yet then we'll know why.