Little Stalky Can Smell Again!

Whilst getting over my recent cold of doom (which is still hanging on with a vengeance) I recently decided that I'd lost my sense of smell.  Actually, I had lost my sense of smell - due to excessive snot - but had somehow convinced myself that this might be permanent.  I was most upset and kept moaning to Mystical Roo that I was unable to smell anything, unable to taste things properly, unable to appreciate the wondrous odours of life.  I went to great efforts to test my smell, sniffing everything I could to see if I could get a whiff of something, anything.  The thing that was distressing me was the fact that I felt that I was getting over my cold and breathing properly again.  My logic was, if I can breathe through my nose then surely I can smell through my nose!  Apparently not.  On the day of the extreme clean I was unable to appreciate the smell of a clean house as nothing was breaking the barrier.  I couldn't enjoy the fresh linen, the freakishly clean bathroom.  Nothing.  I was spraying air freshener and then having a good old sniff, but still.  Nothing.  I had a glass of wine (yes, back on the strong stuff) and couldn't taste it.  I even got my nose up close and personal with Mystical Roo's armpit but there was nothing.  Nothing at all.  I was highly distressed.  Anyway, I'm pleased to announce that I can now smell again.  Joy!  I can smell flowers, I can smell the ocean, I can smell my wine.  And it's wonderful.  You don't realise how much you take for granted until it's taken away from you.  I'm just lucky that my sense of smell has returned.  And on that note, I smell dinner!  

The Arrival of El Kenco and Biltong Boy

Well they've arrived.  El Kenco and Biltong Boy are now officially in Australia!  As if often the way with El Kenco - who is late for everything - she was last through customs and Mystical Roo and I had an agonising one hour wait for them to appear.  Needless to say I was almost exhausted by the end of it as much energy had been spent in excited anticipation and a meerkat impression as I tried to observe both exits.  Then there was barrier jumping, followed by hugging and crying.  All of this with a balloon attached to me and a flag in hand.  Excellent.  Mystical Roo caught all of this on camera.  As you do.  So today Australia was in fine form and decided to start the day with a bit of rain.  Well done Australia, that's exactly what the poms want to see.  More bloody rain.  But it brightened up and we were able to show them the sights and even have a dip in the sea.  Will the pigeon made an appearance, as did Steven the seagull, although Sting was absent from the harbour.  They've been officially introduced to the plants, warned about land dwelling, post box dwelling sharks and heard me slag off the neighbours and their bamboo loving ways.  All in all I think it's been a rather good first day and as I write this, everyone - including Mystical Roo - is napping.  I thought it would be a good opportunity to write up what's been going on.  And now, with a potential storm approaching, I'm going to bring in the towels!  Hurricane proof pegs or not, I don't want anything getting rained on.  

Counting Down the Hours

Today's the day that we'll be heading to the airport to collect El Kenco and Biltong Boy.  Again, huge excitement!  And it's only 07.30.  Once I was up, I was up and there was no laying in bed so I got up and watered the plants and had some breakfast.  El Kenco and Biltong boy don't actually land until later on this evening so I've got a whole day to get through first.  We've got plans of doing a big food shop and washing the ute.  Things to try and fill the hours whilst I bop about with uncontrolled excitement.  I must say, I woke up this morning and felt for El Kenco and Biltong boy who would have already been on a plane for many, many hours.  I'd just woken up from a nights sleep in my bed and they're still on the plane.  It's a long flight from England to Australia.  I should know; I've done it a few times now.  I don't envy anyone making that trip.  It's redeeming factor is that you get to arrive in beautiful Australia and see the amazing Little Stalky and Mystical Roo.  Woo hoo!  We'll no doubt be ridiculously early as I can't stand to be late for anything, especially not something so important and because I like to get a good spot for watching the doors.  It's a mission.  I'll be armed with a flag and a balloon, both of which will be shoved at Mystical Roo once I spot El Kenco.  Whilst awaiting the arrival of Rabby and Bear Z I pretty much leapt the barrier to go and give them a hug.  Screw everyone else.  Screw the kids.  If you got in my way, you got trampled on.  All social etiquette goes out the window!  I imagine today will be a similar scene.  But first you've got to spot people amongst the crowds.  And with several planes landing at once you get a swarm of people filtering through not one, but two doors.  Mystical Roo says he'll watch one and I can watch the other but I can't do that.  I have to watch both.  So you then get the tennis court effect, with my head whipping from side to side like I'm watching a match.  I get this nervous excitement that pretty much sends me into a hysterical mess.  Thank God Mystical Roo is so grounded.  He'd never be a hysterical mess.  He looks after me and makes sure I don't go into total meltdown.  It's a shame it won't still be light when they arrive as the drive back from Sydney makes for an impressive one.  Still, as far as jet lag goes, this is the best flight.  Land, get home, go to bed and it sorts you out faster than if you have to try and stay awake all day.  I'm just hoping the weather behaves itself for tomorrow so that I can show Biltong Boy and El Kenco our beach, go for a swim and generally enjoy the sunshine.  So now I'm counting down the hours, buzzing with energy and wondering if it's still too early to go and jump on the bed and wake up Mystical Roo...

Extreme Clean

I've just completed the biggest clean in Little Stalky history and I'm totally exhausted.  I haven't stopped all day and now that I've sat down on the sofa I feel like I may never be able to get up again.  And that's not a good thing.  Can't be a sofa dweller.  Got too much going on!  Ah but the house is spotless.  It really is.  Even I'm clean!  Mystical Roo has yet to return home from work but when he does, he'll be cleaned too and then banned from touching anything or doing  anything.  He'll have to come and sit with me on the sofa too and he can also become a sofa dweller.  It's been a hot day to do an extreme spring clean but with the imminent arrival of guests, I like an excuse to give everything a good tidy.  I've been cleaning the grout in the bathroom, cleaning out cupboards and drawers, cleaning the fridge, hoovering, ironing, washing, dusting, mopping and generally making the whole place look perfect.  But it's hard work!  And I'm now looking forward to dinner and possibly a glass of wine (oh yeah - I forgot I don't drink anymore) with Mystical Roo.  I feel knackered so perhaps I'll be able to sleep tonight.  But then, I'm reallllllllllllllllllllllllly excited, so it's hard to say.  Maybe I'll be cleaning in my sleep. 

Super Excited Stalky

I'm a little bit excited at the moment.  Today has been my last day at work before a whole three weeks off!  It's like that feeling you get on the last day of school, winding down, getting excited, not being able to concentrate, annoying your colleagues by waffling on about your holiday.  Whoop whoop!  And although I work casual hours I haven't actually had a holiday, as such, in rather a long time.  So I walked home from work, in the sunshine, with a bit of extra spring in my step.  It's such a wonderful feeling.  But even more reason for Little Stalky's big excitement is the fact that my sister, aka El Kenco and her husband, aka Biltong Boy, will be coming for their first ever visit to Australia.  Huge excitement!  I haven't seen my sister since her wedding, which was almost two years ago now.  In fact, now that I think about I think they must be celebrating their wedding anniversary here.  I am beyond excitement.  I'm uncontrollable.  More hyperactive than ever before.  Bopping about like a lunatic.  Chattering away like a chipmunk (I have no idea if chipmunks actually chatter).  I'm literally bubbling over with energy and excitement.  And it will only get worse.  They arrive on Saturday and Saturday will just be the longest day ever waiting for them to arrive.  And poor Mystical Roo will have to put up with me alllllllll day.  But I try to put my energy into productive tasks.  The whole house will have a massive spring clean, cupboards will be emptied, fridges will be cleaned, balconies will be swept, coffee tables will be waxed, Mystical Roos will be dusted.  It's all go!  So, over the next few weeks, it won't just be the adventures of Little Stalky and Mystical Roo, it will be the adventures of Little Stalky, Mystical Roo, El Kenco and Biltong Boy.  Who knows what will happen!

Little Stalky Loves her Coffee Table

I do love my coffee table.  It's very special to me and receives a lot of care and attention.  And woe betide anyone who doesn't use a coaster!  Both Mystical Roo and I were drawn to it when we first saw it and knew we had to have it.  It had that semi rustic look that would go well in our farmhouse one day.  One day.  Anyway, with some special arrivals on the way, I decided it was about time the coffee table had it's 6 month wax.  Apparently the coffee table should be waxed about twice a year to keep the wood healthy.  So I got out the wax, switched on the TV (on which "the Love Boat" was showing - now that's a random thing) and waxed the coffee table.  Not so much a chore as a labour of love.  But now the coffee table is looking beautiful, so much so that I photographed it and then blogged about it.  I'll apologise now for the poor quality of the photo.  I took it using my phone, in bad light, with my dodgy shaky hands.  I've never been able to take a good photo.  You may or may not be able to see the Mystical Roo alcohol stored within (remember, Little Stalky doesn't drink anymore).  I think that was one of the things we liked about the coffee table.  It was multifunctional.  It has a drawer in which to store things - mostly DVDs and the odd newspaper - and what can only be described as a mini wine rack and a glass top so you can see what you have stored.  Excellent.  If we're feeling particularly extravagant then the coffee table can hold up to twelve bottles of wine, but right now it's got a bottle of Mystical Roo whiskey and a bottle of Mystical Roo gin.  That might change over the next couple of days though, you never know.  You can also see coasters on top of the coffee table which I, with my love of symmetry, had to place in a neat line.  As I said, it's imperative that one uses a coaster with the coffee table.  If not I get very upset.  You might get told off (a la Roo) or you might get...the look (dramatic music - da da daaaaaaaaa).  The coasters are actually made by Mystical Roo himself.  He's in the paving business, so samples of his paving - minus the plastic casing - make rather snazzy coffee coasters.  Anyway, coffee coasters aside, I think you'll agree that the coffee table is indeed a thing of great beauty.  Coffee table, I salute you!  

An Army of Ants



Left to right: Lemon tree (he's shy), thyme,
chilli plant (freshly harvested), strawberry plant,
tomato one, tomato two.  And hiding from today's
photo the rosemary plant and the parsley



I was out pottering on the balcony this morning, pulling some evil looking weeds, sweeping a mountain of sand and tending to the plants.  I must say one of the tomato plants has been looking a little worse for wear and I was pretty sure he'd snuffed it.  But on closer inspection, I realised my poorly plant was vigorously growing new fruit!  Lots of new fruit!  I was thrilled.  So I've set about removing the dead looking leaves and ruined fruit, hoping that my tomato plant will pull through and be happy again.  The healthy tomato plant also has poorly fruit, which I have now put down to evil ant activity.  Not normal ant activity.  Evil ant activity.  Rabby informs me that ants can sometimes be good and sometimes be bad.  They can keep other insects away, but they can also eat your fruit.  Or in this case, tomatoes.  Thus, evil ant activity.  So, murderess that I am (if you're a caterpillar, run away) I set about tracking down these evil ants and thwarting their plan to munch through my tomatoes.  As usual, you find one ant, you find many and then you find the line.  The path they're travelling back and forth.  And you know what I discovered?  Those bloody evil ants were walking along the balcony, up the wall, up the brick and over into the neighbour's balcony.  It's those pesky neighbours again, with their evil bamboo plants and errant hosepipe (I got a soaking once).  They're sending ants over the wall to eat my plants. That's super evil.  Super evil neighbours with evil bamboo plants, evil hosepipes and evil ants.  An army of ants.  Well, I've already implemented methods to put an end to their reign of terror.  Ant bait.  Yes.  Ant bait.  I've put it right in their path.  Now they'll take the bait back to their queen and that will be the end of that.  Protect the plants at all costs!  We've used the ant baits in the house before and they work a treat.  Yes, there's an initial flood of ants as they're drawn to whatever it is they're drawn to but then they're thwarted.  I usually get Mystical Roo to set the ant bait as I struggle with the lugs.  The lugs - I have no idea if this is an official term - are supposed to easily snap off, revealing the poison and luring the evil ants.  Easily snap off?  Ha!  Maybe if you've got massive man hands.  Not so easy when you've got delicate lady hands.  There was much bashing with a pair of secateurs to get those bad boys off. And there were three of them!  But the bait is set, the trap is primed and the battle against the evil ants has begun.  Don't mess with my plants, or you'll have a Little Stalky to deal with.  And she's a bit psycho!  

Detective Stalky

I figure I see a lot of random stuff on my way to work.  Scary staring dudes, rogue trolleys, giant cat sized lizards, man wearing one shoe, one slipper.  Stuff.  Today I saw a brick pillar that the day before had been standing and today was a pile of rubble on the floor.  It caught my attention because of it's randomness.  And randomness must always be noted.  It even provoked a raised eyebrow on my part as I ambled (no power working with the evil cough of doom) towards work.  The pillar was one of two which marked the entrance to a shared courtyard.  One stood like nothing was amiss, whilst the other lay in a sad heap.  Most peculiar.  Mainly because I wondered how the pillar had come to be like this.  What could topple such a formidable structure.  It didn't look like it had been done on purpose, like someone had planned to remove the pillar.  It was a mess.  A brick mess.  And only one pillar was down.  Not both.  A mystery indeed.  I assume a large vehicle, or something similar, ploughed into the pillar and knocked it over.  But I couldn't imagine a car doing that kind of damage.  The car would surely have had to be going very fast and it seems the pillar would have done more damage to the car.  But then I'm no expert.  Perhaps Rabby would know better.  So, in my Little Stalky opinion, not a car, not a bicycle, not a moped.  Certainly not a land dwelling shark, for they're not known for this kind of destructive behaviour.  So what?  What had knocked over this pillar and left it strewn across some person's courtyard.  Something bigger.  A lorry perhaps?  or a tractor?  What is a tractor doing there?  Why would a tractor be there?  It makes no sense.  A lorry might be passing through, but why would they be near the pillar.  No, to get to the pillar one would have had to have been entering the courtyard, or getting close to the courtyard.  Backing up to the courtyard perhaps.  Backing up to the courtyard...Something big and clumsy that would be backing up to a courtyard.  On a Monday.  Early in the morning.  Before anyone else is up and about.  Early in the morning as the pillar was in tact on Sunday night.  Could it be...the dustbin men!!!  It's the only logical explanation.  It was the dustbin men, in the courtyard, with the candle stick.  Yes, I'll make a detective yet. 

I Said Colour, Not Cough!

You may remember that I get highly frustrated with guests when I ask them the colour of their vehicle.  A simple question that somehow generates the most complex of responses.  And don't even get me started on the burgundy. I no longer drink, ha ha ha.  Any how, today at work, this question has been once again causing great Little Stalky frustration.  Not only because people can't simply refer to their car as gold, but champagne, but because most people today seem to have totally missed the question.  The colour and the make of your vehicle?  Um, it's a Mazda, 3x, something, something, 4 door, whatsit, blah de blah de blah.  And pause.  Pause.  Sigh (from me).  And the colour?  Oh!  Ummmmmmmmm.  Christ!  He knows every fricking detail about the car - which I don't care about or need to know - but doesn't know the colour.  This has been happening all day.  It's like people just miss the question.  All I want is silver ford, blue holden (that's a vauxhall for those back in the UK), red (don't you dare say burgundy) volvo.  In fact, I don't even need that.  Just blue van or green ute would be fine. Why on earth would I need to know the year of your vehicle, or the engine size, or whatever else it is that gets spouted at me that has no meaning.  Why do people think I ask this question?  To compare vehicles?  I walk to work by the way.  To show off their car know how.  I'm not Jeremy Clarkson.  We just want to be able to identify the car.  So if someone rings me and says there's a red car, rego number whatever, climbing a tree I can then ring the owner and advise them their car is climbing a tree.  That is all.  Maybe I should ask for the make and the colour of the car.  Or even what's the make of the car and the colour?  Put the word colour right at the end so they can't forget.  I've taken to just getting the rego number and looking out the window to fill in the rest for myself.  So that's a blue car you've got there, great and I've typed it in so fast there's no time to interrupt.  Mwah ha ha.  I am cunning and fiendish indeed.  Perhaps it was the chesty cough and the cold that's been thwarting people today.  Maybe all they hear is cough, cough cough, what's the cough and make of your vehicle.  I suppose that would explain a few things.  Still, I shall not take the blame for this.  Certainly not when there are people out there referring to their vehicles as lavender.  Who chooses lavender anyway! 

The Hangover

I had one of those nights last night, where you just have a little bit too much to drink.  I'm normally very good at knowing my limits and will switch to something softer if I feel myself going over that limit, but last night I got a bit carried away, mixed beer and wine and woke up this morning feeling rather the worse for wear.  How very disappointing.  I'm always very disappointed with myself after too much to drink.  I have horrible thoughts of how annoying I become when under the influence - more rambling than normal and highly forgetful, resulting in people, mostly Mystical Roo, hearing the same story over and over and over.  So when I woke this morning, with the cold having developed into a chesty cough, with a headache and an uneasy stomach I was very disappointed.  And not really a happy bunny.  Mystical Roo encouraged me to get up, have a shower and work through the hangover.  Have some fruit, have some breakfast, have a cup of tea.  And with Mystical Roo just back from Brisbane we decided to visit Bob-A-Roony and Duke so that Mystical Roo could meet his nephew.  This was a good idea until I started feeling sick in the car.  Oh dear.  We pulled in to the driveway and I decided I should stay put, get some air, let the nausea pass.  No one likes being sick (I don't think) but I have an absolute phobia of letting anyone see or hear me be sick.  Mainly because I'm the loudest "sicker" in the world.  And it's not very ladylike really.  So, sat in the car, feeling horrible and wondering if I should have stayed in bed.  Then, Monster Noggin and Band Man arrive to find me moping in the car, looking shaky and pale.  Very embarrassing.  Not only did they see me drunk and talking nonsense the night before, they now see me for the lightweight I am, horribly hungover in the car.  I can feel the nausea rising and encourage them to head in and see Little Pea.  Leave me to it.  Then I realise I'm going to be sick.  And without wanting to gross you out any more than I already have I will simply say that there was thankfully an empty coffee cup (paper, disposable and rather large) in the car and my aim is spectacular, as Mystical Roo kindly pointed out.  I did feel better but was by this point far too embarrassed to face everyone and confess to my hungover antics.  What kind of aunt am I, sat in a car, sullying paper coffee cups.  Anyway, then the health worker arrived and knocked on the window, asking if I was ok and looking nervous. I explained I was fine and hung my head in shame as she headed towards the door.  Good impression.  Hungover aunt in the driveway.  Excellent.  Monster Noggin brought me water, Duke disposed of the cup (she's hardcore) and Mystical Roo drove me home where I promptly curled up on the sofa vowing never to drink again and cursing myself for spoiling the day with a stupid hangover.  I'm now supping sparkling water and nibbling grapes.  Never drinking again.   

The Lizard Lurketh

I don't know if you remember a post from a few months back discussing the lizard who was living in reception.  Well, much to my surprise, I've discovered he's continuing to live in reception!  I've seen him twice this week and I'm pretty sure he's growing.  He seems to lurk mostly around management's office, popping out to say hello once in a while.  He pokes his head out from under the door and then whips back in again.  So this got me thinking, does he work for management?  Is he keeping an eye on us?  Or, in an even more sinister turn, is the lizard actually the head honcho?  Are we being led by a lizard?  It's a possibility.  Who knows, that lizard could actually be pulling the strings.  I wonder what he's eating?  Where does he sleep?  What does he do for fun?  Maybe we can thank the lizard for a lack of bug activity.  If he is just a lizard living in reception and now working for / part of management, then perhaps he should become the official office mascot.  He could have a little hat and everything.  Oooh, he could have a hat, a cape and a wand and then he could be a lizard wizard!  Totally cool.

Monster Noggin Gets Peed On

We've recently had a new addition to the clan.  And I'm not talking lemon trees here (though I think I do have room on the balcony...).  This is an actual real life, little baby!  But no, Little Stalky and Mystical Roo haven't had a visit from the Stork.  The little baby in question is our nephew, courtesy of Bob-A-Roony and Duke.  Little Pea was born on Monday and yesterday, Monster Noggin and I excitedly made our way to the hospital to meet the little man.  I was still - and continue to be - a horrible little snot monster and was a bit concerned about going in with my cold but I was constantly reassured that it would be ok.  I made great use of those little bottles of antibacterial hand wash stuff.  So, armed with gifts and a box of tissues we made our way through the hospital and found Duke and Little Pea, who was soundly asleep in his cot.  He's just adorable.  And so tiny!  I got to hold Little Pea and must confess I was terrified.  He's just so small and delicate.  But he slept soundly in my arms.  There was much photo taking, with the multi functioning mobile phones and then Duke had to do a nappy change.  At this point I'd returned to my trusty tissue box whilst Monster Noggin watched over Little Pea.  Then, as Duke removed the nappy, Little Pea decided he needed to, well, pee and as is the case with little boys, a fountain ensued.  And this fountain of pee got Monster Noggin right in the face!  And what was the response from Duke and Little Stalky?  Well we laughed our heads off.  Tee hee.  We were still giggling whilst Monster Noggin reached for the wet wipes.  Tee hee.  But it was very funny.  Auntie Monster Noggin now has a story to tell if ever she feels the need to embarrass her nephew.

The Snot has Arrived

Sympathy please, much sympathy is needed for the Little Stalky who now has an official cold.  Disgusting.  And very long winded I might add!  The sore throat from way back on Friday has now disappeared but has been replaced with snot!  And lots of it.  I'd like to quickly point out that the snot is in the nose region and not the throat.  That would be really disgusting.  I was fine at work yesterday, I came home and then WHAM, snot.  Lots of snot.  How charming I am, discussing snot at this hour.  I'm blaming the snot on the crazy night’s sleep I had last night, or rather, crazy nights lack of sleep I had last night.  With congestion it makes it hard to lay down as there is so much pressure around my eyes.  Then of course there's the snot.  Forcing me to sit up every five minutes and reach for the tissue box.  When I did manage to fall asleep I kept having weird and wonderful dreams about a fancy dress shop were everything was glowing and making Mystical Roo and Monster Noggin late for a meeting because McDonalds were taking ages to serve us our coffee!  Dag nabbit.  I awoke at around 06.00 and could take no more so decided to get up and have some breakfast.  Breakfast was swiftly followed with some decongestants, which Mystical Roo helpfully pointed out, that I should have taken a few days ago.  Bah!  The thing is, these decongestants are making me feel decisively dopey.  Dopier than normal in fact.  I'm staring at the screen, aware that my fingers are typing, but struggling to spell.  If this post doesn't make sense today - I mean more so than usual - then you know why.  The decongestants did it!  On that note, I'm going to locate my tissue box and have a cup of tea.  

Scary Staring Dude

The first time I saw scary staring dude was whilst having lunch at a cafe with the rest of the crew.  Both Monster Noggin and I were chilled to the core by his decisively eerie presence.  Scary staring dude, I hear you ask.  Yes, scary staring dude.  He walked past us, very slowly, whilst staring with the most intense gaze you've ever seen.  He wasn't smiling, he wasn't frowning, he was just staring.  It was seriously unnerving!  And he was really tall and wearing what can only be described as a flasher coat.  One of those really long trench coats that people - who these people are I'm not sure - use to flash innocent bystanders.  Never cool!  So, scary staring dude, walked past really slowly, staring, walking, staring, walking.  Damned spooky!  And both Monster Noggin and I looked at each other as if to say, yes, you saw him too and my God wasn't he creepy!  Yes.  He continued down the pavement and we didn't see him again.  Until the other day!  I saw him whilst I was walking to work.  The same dude.  The same walk.  The same flasher coat.  But this time there was no stare.  He was just walking.  I immediately had to text Monster Noggin to tel her that I'd seen scary staring dude again.  Spooky.  And then...I saw him again today.  Again on the way to work.  But he was walking a different route and away from me rather than towards me.  But I knew it was him.  Very tall.  Same walk, same flasher coat.  Eek!  It seems to me that scary staring dude is just randomly wandering around my town, walking his walk, wearing his flasher coat and staring at folk.  Though I suppose it was only one out of the three times I've actually seen him staring.  Maybe it wasn't us he was staring at with those dark, dark eyes.  Maybe it was the cakes in front of which we were sat.  Maybe it was the cookies.  But I swear to God, when he looked at me it was like he could see into my soul.  Terrifying.  Truly terrifying.  

Random Sore Throat of Doom

I currently have a random sore throat of doom and I'm not happy.  I don't handle being unwell and like to whinge and moan until someone gives me attention.  The stupid sore throat started at the end of a long day of check ins on Friday and I thought it was just a result of talking non stop.  I'd hoped a relaxing evening of fish and chips, plus beer, would have done the trick.  But oh no.  I wake up in the middle of the night on Friday with my throat red raw and my weird self wanting to swallow at every opportunity, thus highlighting the pain of the aforementioned red raw throat.  Not cool.  It's amazing how hard it is to sleep when one has a sore throat.  You can't get comfortable, you can't stop thinking about the sore throat and you dream about ice cream.  Then, just as you start to drift off to the land of nod the sodding alarm goes off and you have to get up for work.  Dag nabbit.  So Saturday was a bit of a struggle and I wondered why the sore throat had not developed into a cold as it normally does.  It was just a sore throat combined with a weird dizziness.  Still, I managed a whole day at work and then an evening out at the Tea Club.  I woke up Sunday, day off, and still the sore throat!  Sunday was pretty much spent on the sofa, feeling sorry for myself, willing cups of tea to make their way over to me.  I woke up this morning and still had a god damned sore throat, yet no sign of coughing or sneezing.  What the hell is up with this sore throat.  Is it a sign that I need to be quiet.  Listen more and not chatter incessantly at whoever will listen.  I keep checking for white lumps to make sure it's not tonsillitis but everything seems to be clear.  Today I've felt fine but have been harassed by my sore throat, which is now very dry.  So every time I try to talk for too long I either have a coughing fit or my voice goes really husky.  I had a husky voice all day.  Rather suitable for Valentine's Day I suppose but not necessarily in the office.  So now I'm sat at home, with a sore throat and a husky voice.  There's only one thing for it.  Have a glass of wine.  

Little Stalky and Co go to The Tea Club

 Last night a number of us went to The Tea Club in Nowra to watch a performance by King & Co.  Mystical Roo picked me up from work and we drove to Nowra, stopping off at the bottle shop for the ever important bottle of wine.  I had - and continue to have - a sore throat so had decided that medicinal alcohol was a must.  As Ammy pointed out, it was important for me to keep my throat lubricated.  With red wine.  Any hoo.  I'd never been to the Tea Club before and didn't know what to expect.  We paid our entry fee, were given a menu and had our hands stamped.  Then we went outside into the most gorgeous outdoor eating area.  I was literally mesmerised by how beautiful it was.  There were tables of various sizes dotted around, each with a little candle creating a soft glow.  Fairy lights hung from the trees and a random gnome sat under a lamppost.  It was like a tropical paradise hidden amongst an urban setting.  The band had a stage set up at one end of the outside area and then the tables were positioned so that the audience could enjoy the music whilst having a meal.  It was the perfect combination of good food, good wine, good company and good music.  I must say I was very taken with the lamppost and snaffled Mystical Roo's phone so that I could take some pictures.  Ignoring the random gnome - because quite frankly you just can't trust them - I kept looking at the lamppost and noting how pretty it looked, draped in moss and with decorative blossom.  The whole atmosphere had me feeling like I was on holiday.  It was great.  Once again the band put on an excellent live performance and had the crowd - myself included - up and dancing in front of the stage.  I think we all had a really good night.  Now I've got another venue to add to the "list of places to take family when they visit."  And then everyone can appreciate the lamppost! 

A very pretty lamppost.  Please note:
suspicious gnome activity below

A Pringle Discovery

The other day I made an exciting supermarket discovery.  And the thing I must confess is that I wasn't in Woolworths.  I know.  It's shocking.  After all the adventures we've had.  But it wasn't that I shunned Woolworths, just that there wasn't a Woolworths in the vicinity.  And as a result I was shopping with their official rival, Coles.  But I feel no guilt.  Especially not considering I found...wait for it...Pringles!  Real, actual, proper Pringles.  Huge excitement.  Up until very recently I'd never been able to find Pringles in Australia and in the absence of Walkers (oh how I miss Cheese and Onion crisps) have never really found a crisp that I fully appreciated.  The discovery of actual real life Pringles was a cause for major in store bopping.  In fact, I think I drew a couple of glances as I bopped in front of the Pringle display.  Woo Pringles.  I picked myself up a tube of Hot and Spicy flavour and happily presented them to Mystical Roo.  Now all we need is a stock of the aforementioned Walkers crisps and possibly some Scampi Fries. 

Keep Your Distance

Yesterday I went to our local shopping center with Mystical Roo and Monster Noggin.  We'd only popped in to grab some lunch and milk and were there for no more than fifteen minutes but I hated it.  Hated it!  I very much appreciate my own space and I very much don't appreciate people trying to get into my space.  I think this is the country bumpkin in me.  City folk seem to be able to just get on with it, I suppose because they're always surrounded by people and have to do things like share packed trains and cross the road with a horde of other folk.  I shudder at the thought.  What I don't understand is people who get up in my personal space when there is plenty of other space for them to be standing.  What is that about?  It's like when I was in the supermarket, innocently queueing with my bottle of milk.  Why did the woman behind me keep having to shuffle up closer.  Every time I inched forward, she would inch forward also.  Didn't she understand that my inching was not to inch closer to the counter but to inch further away from her.  I could practically feel her breath on my neck.  I think some people are just impatient to get to the counter.  If they close the gap in the queue then of course the person serving is going to move faster.  Of course.  This seems to happen a lot in queues.  People get it in their heads that they have to shuffle closer together.  Shorten the queue and we'll all be waiting for a shorter period of time.  No.  Get rid of the amount of people in the queue and then we'll all be waiting for a shorter period of time.  I have to fight the urge to turn around sometimes and ask the person to back off.  I need my own personal bumper sticker telling people not to tailgate me.  I hate it.  I don't even like people I know getting that close.  Back off people and give me some space.  Maybe I need to stop washing, put people off with my smell or something.  Or just start sneezing really loudly, freak people out with potential germs.  Perhaps I need to get a pointy stick and just poke people who enter my space.  I should get a fenced area that I can place around myself, clearly marking the area that cannot be crossed.  Then I might get some funny looks.  But at least people would keep their distance!  

Attention Seeking Chilli

After much sunshine and rain, the Little Stalky garden seems to be doing very well.  More chillies are turning red, readying themselves for picking faster than I can use them.  I have therefore decided to start drying my chillies and as per instructions from Rabby, have taken to hanging my chillies from a bit of string.  I personally think they look rather stylish, just chilling from a bit of string.  Very funky.  I left excess string available for the addition of more chillies.  So my chillies are multi purpose, not only tasty but fashionable too.  Chillies are officially in.  And I should know, I'm very cool.  The other plant producing fruit at the speed of light is the strawberry plant.  There's strawberries everywhere.  And they seem to like to ripen when Mystical Roo is in Brisbane.  Yes, Mystical Roo misses out on strawberry goodness, but on a good note, Little Stalky benefits from extra strawberry goodness.  Oooh strawberries.  Also, my strawberry plant has put out his first feeler (as pictured.  You'll also notice a chilli trying to get in on the action.  Those chillies like to be center of attention!), which Rabby has advised can be used to grow even more strawberry plants!  I'm waiting for the feeler to put out little roots and then I can use my extra pots to grow a strawberry army!  Excellent.  I've decided these might even make nice gifts.  Here you go, have a strawberry plant.  I grew it myself.  Who wouldn't be happy with a strawberry plant.  Whose birthday is coming up next?  Hmmm, I think that would be mine.  Can I give myself a strawberry plant for my birthday?  I guess that would be a bit random.  But in Little Stalky world, what isn't. 

Note:  Bottom right, funky feeler.  Top left,
attention seeking chilli!

Junk Mail Thief

As we all know, I'm a bit of a snaffler.  I snaffle post.  But with snaffling being the art form that it is, and with risks such as getting one's hand stuck in the post box, I don't snaffle just any old junk.  Oh no.  It's handwritten letters and postcards only.  The bills can stay put.  The junk mail can stay put.  Unless of course it's one of those flyers with discounted rates on pizza.  That is definitely worth a snaffle.  Of the junk mail that lands in our post box, most of it comes in a large rolled up variety that is quite obviously poking out of the letter box.  It's no challenge for a snaffler.  You'd think I'd just whip it out of there and send the junk mail straight into the recycling.  But no.  Even as it's staring at me as I walk past, I just don't feel inclined to remove it until necessary.  Actually, from a practical aspect it's rather good at protecting important mail from random attacks of sideways rain.  It acts as a barrier and keeps the good stuff dry.  So, in the absence of Mystical Roo - yes, he's in Brisbane again.  I think he might be avoiding me - and with no interest from me and my snaffling fingers, where exactly is my junk mail going?  Oh yes, there has been mysterious junk mail disappearances.  One minute it's there, the next minute...gone.  Which begs the question, who exactly steals junk mail?  Surely junk mail is a plague that most people want less of, not more of.  Is there someone out there who isn't getting junk mail?  Someone who feels left out and so steals mine instead?  Some kind of junk mail junkie who just can't get enough of the special offers and discount deals!  Now I don't want my junk mail, but it does act as an excellent rain barrier and the principal of the matter is that someone is thieving from my post box.  Someone is snaffling my mail.  I've been snaffled!  This is not good.  Why pick my mail box specifically?  Why not one of the other five?  Why have I been targeted?  Is someone watching me?  Is someone trying to out snaffle me?  Is there just some sort of confusion and one of the neighbours thinks that my mail box is actually their mail box?  The clue is in the key people.  If you don't have the key, it's not your mail box!  Actually, even if you do have the key, it's still not your mail box.  Give me back my key!  So I can see I'm either going to have to start snaffling my own junk mail, just to prove a point, or set up some kind of Stalky Snaffling Surveillance System.

LittleStalky@LittleStalky

I was pondering email addresses - as you do - whilst taking down an email address for someone who had, what I thought, was a cool email address.  I obviously won't give you the whole thing but it involved Little Wookie and that was cute.  Little Wookie, the man said slowly.  As in Star Wars? I replied.  Yes, the man confirmed sheepishly.  Cool, I replied.  The thing was, he was definitely embarrassed by his choice of email address, which seems ridiculous. When choosing your email address you must remember that you'll be giving it out to people, many people, unless of course you don't want people to email you, but then why would you have an email address?  Are you just going to send emails and never receive any?  Did you set up an email account for the benefits of it's calendar only?  Where was I...Yes, you're going to be giving out your email address so if you're embarrassed by it, it really doesn't make much sense.  You need an email address that you can be confident giving to anyone or a back up email address for various occasions.  For example, your hotguy69 email address might be fine for Internet dating - or not - but you might not want to give that email address to your employer.  Unless of course you fancy your boss and want him or her to know that you're hot.  But that's probably inappropriate when you think about it.  Or you might be confident with your email address and not give a damn.  This is fine also.  There does seem to be some logic to email addresses, particularly work ones, which incorporate just a name, whilst others are just nonsense, which have to be spelt over the phone.  Not that I can really talk.  My email address is LittleStalky and that always has to be spelt.  Little what?  I'm sorry you're a little what?  What's a Stalky?  Oh and don't forget it's a capital L and a capital S or else it won't work.  And I have multiple email addresses, but only one of them doesn't include Little and Stalky.  Tricky.  I guess you've got to have an email address for every occasion.  I'm happy to give mine out to anyone - email hussy! - without feeling embarrassed, so figure I'm covered.  Just remember, when choosing your email address, you may be judged!  

Little Stalky and Mystical Roo go to the Airport

I was up at a most unsociable hour this morning to take Mystical Roo to the airport.  We had to leave the house at 04.00 so Mystical Roo was up and about by about 03.30 and I was up at 03.55.  I'm not good at that time of the morning.  Not coherent, not happy, not really with it.  I don't know how Mystical Roo does it all the time.  And I was able to come back home and dive straight back into bed, whilst Mystical Roo would have been on a plane and straight into work.  He's hardcore.  It's been a while since I've done the airport run and I remember now why I don't like driving around Sydney.  I was only on the outskirts and still I managed to become enraged by the city drivers.  They're so pushy and won't let you in if you get in the wrong lane.  Of course I'm going to be in the wrong lane.  I don't know the area, I don't know which lane I'm meant to be in until I'm in the lane I'm not meant to be in.  Let me in damnit!  It's actually a fairly straightforward route and once you get away from Sydney it's just dual carriageway through what appears to be the middle of nowhere.  What still amazes me is how fast the lorries go here.  It's unbelievable.  Their speed is not restricted like the lorries in England and when they're out on the open road they just go pedal to the metal.  It's terrifying.  I overtake more cars than I do lorries.  In fact, more lorries overtake me than what I overtake lorries.  I guess they're not holding up traffic but it seems that something as large as a lorry should really be sticking to the speed limit.  It's crazy.  When I did go to overtake a lorry this morning the damn thing decided to speed up.  The poor xtrail was doing it's best aeroplane impression (noisy beast) as it struggled to get past the lorry and it's inconsistent speed.  Then I was dazzled by headlights in the rear view mirror as some numpty sat on my bumper because I wasn't going fast enough.  That sent me into a bit of a rage.  I hate people who drive too close.  Another dangerous habit of the impatient driver or the driver who is paying so little attention they fail to notice they're practically pushing me off the road.  I pulled back in front of the lorry and was sure to give that car evils as it made it's way past.  Then, as we were coming into a 60kmh zone these hoons whipped past in a mini ute.  They were cutting people up, switching lanes and generally being a nuisance.  About ten minutes later I was pleased to see that the hoons had been stopped by the traffic patrol.  Ha!  Take that you skanky hoons.  I was back home by about 07.00 and back in bed about fifteen minutes later.  It's all go in Little Stalky world!

Flying Fish

Last night we went around to Monster Noggin's for a spot of Chinese takeaway and some wine.  After a bit of a feast it was still thirty something degrees at 21.00!  Hottest day ever.  Hottest night ever.  Now I like the heat but when you're trying to eat and can't cool down it gets exhausting.  There wasn't even a breeze.  After our food had settled, four of us decided to have a little walk on the beach, dip our tootsies in the water and basically try and cool down.  So Monster Noggin, Ammy, Mystical Roo and I hopped across the road and wandered down to the beach, which looks very surreal in the dark.  You can see the sand and in the distance the white of the waves but everything just seems to blur together and makes the beach really, really vast.  On Monster Noggin's beach (yes she owns it) there's a lagoon type thing, a river that meets the ocean, a massive puddle!  Normally one can cross the massive puddle to reach the sea but that night the massive puddle was more massive than normal and there was no way we were getting across.  In the light of day we probably would have waded across but not at night and certainly not when we were fully clothed.  With the moon reflecting in the dark water it looked eerie and sinister.  It was still and barely a ripple was lapping up against the sand.  It made me wonder what might lurk beneath.  As Monster Noggin noted, if we'd been up further North there's no way any of us would have been stood so close.  So we weren't able to dip our feet in the sea but the cool sand and sea air had done a good job of offering some relief from the heat.  Then we heard it.  A splashing coming from the lagoon.  We all looked out across the dark water to try and work out what it was.  Silence again but there were now definite ripples on what had previously been perfectly still water.  Mysterious.  Then it sounded again.  Splash, splash.  Something big?  Something in the water?  Something coming to get us?  Couldn't be a croc.  They don't live in our neck of the woods.  Could have been a shark though.   A shark?  In the lagoon?  Why that's just crazy talk.  I suggested a turtle.  Not a turtle.  The dark lagoon suddenly looked a whole lot creepier to me.  Then it splashed again and we saw something silvery shooting across the surface before disappearing beneath the depths.  A flying fish!  I can't remember who came to this conclusion but there was an immediate consensus.  Flying fish!  I was horrified.  We all know how I feel about fish.  I wasn't happy.  I noted that if fish could swim what were they doing flying as well.  Then I figured if they could swim and fly, what was to stop them walking up onto the sand and going for my ankles!  Shocking.  After his initial stealthy maneuvers, the flying fish quickly became a show off and started "flying" all over the place.  Yes, we might have been impressed at first (well not me) but honestly, there's no need to show off.  With our feet cool we decided to head back to the house so we left that random flying fish to his business.  I must confess I had to chance a look over my shoulder.  I didn't trust turning my back on it.  I had images of it following us back.  But all seemed to be quiet.  So we returned to the house for another glass of wine (that might have just been me) and the flying fish continued to splash about in the lagoon.  

Heat Wave

We’re set for one of the hottest days of the year today and everyone’s on high alert.  Certain areas of the state will hit around 41 degrees.  It certainly felt warm first thing this morning and it still felt warm late last night.  The temperature just doesn’t seem to drop.  As soon as the sun comes up you can feel the heat and then it just lingers in the air well after it’s gone down again.  I was putting the flags out at work yesterday at around 08.30 and I was sweating!  Very glamorous.  I water the plants and can feel the heat of the sun.  It’s officially been declared a heat wave.  As we’re all off today I can picture much splashing in the sea and swimming in the rock pool.  The benefits of living next to the ocean!  All I’ve got to do now is wake up Mystical Roo and persuade him he wants an early morning swim…

Random Wet Patches and Bet Woobs

I've decided that since living in Australia I'm far more prone to random wet patches. And I'm not talking dodgy, I think I've wet myself wet patches, or I've sat in a puddle wet patches or, a dog peed up my leg (yes that actually happened to El Kenco) wet patches. This is innocent, but arguably dodgy looking, wet patches. Most wet patches can be attributed to living next to the beach. You head down for an early morning swim, you towel off, chuck your clothes back on over the top of your still damp bikini and trot off into town for a coffee. This leads to multiple wet patches. Wet bum. Wet boobs (which is seemingly hard to type as I've thrice - what a cool word - ooh tangent - typed bet woobs.) This is somewhat problematic when going to sit down as you leave wet patches wherever you go. Problematic but not that unusual. You're obviously in your bikini. You've obviously just come from the beach. You've obviously not wet yourself. Much to the relief of all. I would say this is an acceptable wet patch that people wouldn't question. But last night when I went to get myself a pizza I had a random wet patch caused by wet hair as I'd just had a shower. With long hair hanging over your shoulder you get - yes you guessed it - a wet patch! In my case, a wet patch on the boob. Just one boob. And I couldn't help but ponder - as often I do - if this was an acceptable wet patch? Was it obvious that my hair was wet and had been hanging over my shoulder? Should I move my hair to stop the wet patch from getting bigger or would the removal of the hair take away the reason for the wet patch and make the wet patch inexplicable and random? Would it appear that I had a randomly wet boob? Was too much thought going into this when I should have been focusing on pizza? Probably. But then whilst wandering on my own I get bored and then my mind starts wandering too. Apparently it's because I'm a pisces. An ironic pisces I might add, what with my fear of fish. And look, another tangent. Typical fishy behaviour. So it's only appropriate that I have random wet patches.

Random Frog

I was working late last night as we had an after hours meeting that went on into the evening.  When we'd finished at about 20.50 it was dark outside but still really hot.  We all filtered towards the door only for someone to stop and remark that there was a frog.  A frog?  Oh no.  I dislike frogs like I dislike fish.  They really really freak me out.  All slimy and hoppy and unpredictable.  Just thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies.  Yuck.  The other girls didn't seem to mind and I was showed up for all my girly girlness highlighted by much squeaking and jumping.  Then, to my shock, one of the girls actually went to scoop up the frog and move him out of the way.  But the frog was having none of it.  He was out of there.  But did he hop off into the grass? Bounce back along the pavement? Make a break through the door?  No, he decided to hop his way up the wall.  Up the wall?  Who knew that frogs could climb!  I was shocked by this turn of events and watched in amazement as the frog climbed up the wall and positioned himself on the ledge just above the door.  Great, now I had to walk through the door with a frog ready to leap on my head.  I shudder at the thought.  It was the strangest thing.  We all stared at him, now out of reach as he chilled on the ledge.  I was out of that room so fast.  There was no way I was going to hang about with the risk of a frog landing on my head.  Totally gross!  I even decided we had to make a hasty exit to the car park lest the frog follow us and intimidate me with it's green sliminess.  Somehow I had images of the frog trying to climb me!  The thought is disturbing beyond belief.  But the frog stayed put and as I looked back before descending the stairs, he was still sat on his ledge.  Who knows, maybe he's still there this morning.  Lurking.  Waiting.  Preparing to pounce!  Run away!

Happy Birthday Bear Z

Today I'd like to wish a very happy birthday to Bear Z!  This time last year Bear Z and Rabby were here with us in the land of Oz and we had birthday celebrations at a very nice little restaurant where there was much cake and wine.  Woo hoo!  That means it's been whole year now since I've seen them but I can take comfort knowing that they're planning a trip out here for Christmas.  Woo hoo again!  So today I'm sending birthday wishes.  It's too early to raise a glass of wine but I'll have one when I get home from work.  Happy birthday Bear Z!  

The Sticky Fly

It is seriously hot here at the moment.  So hot that I did my housework last night because I knew it would be too hot to do today.  The weather is beautiful and makes for much going to the beach and lounging on the balcony.  But this hot weather also seems to have brought out the sticky flies.  What a pain in the bum they are.  They're like normal flies - they look just like a bluebottle (the fly, not the crazy sea dwelling, stingy things) - but they move more slowly and just seem to stick to everything they touch.  Including people.  They're constantly in the office, buzzing around people's faces and dive bombing your head.  They lurk around your computer screen, lazily flit in front of your eyes, crash into your cheek, land on your head.  It's very annoying.  Especially when you're trying to serve a customer.  You're both talking to each other whilst waving arms and giving flicks of the hand as you try to get the damned fly away from you.  And they might be slow movers but if you try and get one with a rolled up magazine or something, you just can't get them.  They're crafty.  And they know when you go for the fly spray.  We have a rather large can stowed under the desks, but whenever I go to get it, pushed to the edge by sticky flies, they suddenly disappear.  Vanished.  I suppose that's as good as anything.  You want to flies to disappear.  But when you reach the stage of getting the fly spray you kind of want vengeance.  So you spray it anyway, convinced that the spray will deter any further attacks, when all you accomplish is fly spray in the air and much coughing from you and your colleagues.  The damn sticky flies have won again.  And they're not just at work.  They're in the house too.  Bopping around my coffee table.  Walking on my nice clean surfaces.  Damn them!  And I don't have fly spray in the house - though I may well buy some today - so I tried having a go with some polish instead.  This achieved nothing more than me having to get a duster and dusting the coffee table at 07.30!  Damn flies are making me clean before I've had my breakfast.  What kind of world is this, where flies have that kind of power!  Ok, maybe just power over me, but I've had enough.  We can now add the sticky fly to the list.  Another nemesis.