Little Stalky Gets Things Stuck in the Car Door

In another walking-home-from-work adventure, I yesterday got rescued from the rain by a colleague who was out and about in her car.  This happens on a fairly regular basis and I've received lifts from a number of different people when travelling both to and from work.  I would like to state that I have never accepted a lift from a stranger.  Yesterday was a bit of a miserable day and though not really cold it was dark and drizzly.  I was actually offered a lift home on the back of a motorbike - with helmet and everything - but I could picture Bear Z in my mind going no, don't do it.  Don't you dare get on the back of that bike.  So I didn't.  I'd gotten about halfway home, listening to Dr Kermode on my i-pod, when I heard a toot.  Or the car variety.  You have to be wary when approaching tooters as although often it is a work colleague stopping to offer a lift, it can sometimes be a random man who thinks tooting is appropriate.  Never approach the random man.  Just frown upon them until they go away.  In this case it was in fact a colleague who came to rescue me from the drizzle.  Now it's always a bit of a kerfuffle getting into a vehicle when you're kitted out in walking gear.  Especially when you add a brolly into the mix.  I have to unclip my rucksack and remove it from my shoulders, pull out my head phones - so as not to be impolite - stow the i-pod in my pocket and put the brolly under my arm.  Not as easy as it sounds.  Especially when you're as clumsy as I am.  I tend to rush myself too and do things too quickly.  Yesterday I managed two things.  One:  I trapped one headphone from the i-pod  in the door of the car.  Two:  I trapped a handful of hair in the door of the car. Fantastic.  And you'd think I'd just quickly open and shut the door and fix this situation but I didn't actually realise the situation until the situation was underway and the car was in motion.  I realised my error when I went to tuck away the i-pod but the headphone refused to budge.  I realised my second error when I tried to turn my head and felt a tug at my hair.  I cringed.  A bit of hair and a bit of headphone were hanging out the passenger side door.  Bouncing along in the wind.  Enjoying a fair smattering of rain.  Probably looking stupid.  And I guess a sensible person would have mentioned this.  Asked the driver if they wouldn't mind stopping so that the situation could be attended to.  But I just felt really stupid.  And I decided that I would feel even stupider if I actually had to admit my stupidity.  Which is stupid in itself because it was less stupidity and more clumsiness that caused the stupid situation.  Instead I decided to hold my ground.  We were less than a minute from home so I could hold out.  I just hoped that my colleague hadn't noticed the bit of hair or the bit of headphone that was stuck in the door.  I had to keep very still and prepare myself for the bends.  Move with the car, not away from it.  Otherwise things were likely to get painful.  I'm sure I didn't look that stupid.  I should have made mention of my neck, which is actually much better now but would have made for a great excuse with regards to sitting very still.  When the car pulled up outside my house I opened the door at lighting speed just to try and disguise my error.  I hope I didn't look rude or like I was trying to escape.  I said thank you, gathered my things and then scurried away to the safety of the flat.  I don't think too much damage has been done.  The headphone was intact.  My hair was intact.  It's just my dignity that's taken a bit of a bashing.  But what's new.  

Little Stalky Gets Her Jazz On

As you can probably see, I've been playing with the design of my blog page.  I just can't help myself.  It's like redecorating.  I get bored of the current decor and then decide to go ahead and change it.  And what better way to express myself than through leopard print borders and wacky writing.  But I understand that this is perhaps a bit offensive to the eyes so I shall consider toning things down a bit to make it easier for my readers to actually read.  I just got excited with all the new design tools that I found.  I get carried away.  But I know what it's like to try and use a website that is trying to be too creative.  It can be downright annoying.  Especially when you get those pages that are so over the top that you can't actually find anything.  You have this crazy introduction page that wants to play music and force you to watch as various elements zoom around the page.  It seems to be challenging you to catch one of these zooming objects with your mouse before you can even get into the main hub of the information.  Those websites drive me loopy.  Especially if I'm on the slow laptop as it just struggles to load anything.  Or if you're at work and this random music starts blaring out of the speakers.  Annoying.  And very unnecessary.  At the end of the day you just want easy navigation and be able to find the things that you want to find.  But a bit of style is ok, right?  So I'll take another look at my design and try to make it slightly less jazzy.  I'll try to combine easy to use with a little bit of jazz.  Watch this space.  

Facebook Addict

I remember being a bit slow on the Facebook front and taking a while to actually start up a page.  I used it a bit in England but would normally only check it once a day.  However now that I live in Australia I can confirm that I'm an official addict.  My name is Little Stalky and I have a problem.  I'm addicted to Facebook.  But I'm not the only one.  I got thinking about this because Monster Noggin confessed that she too is a Facebook addict.  And I'm sure there's plenty more out there.  I see there are two mitigating factors.  One:  I moved to Australia.  Two:  I now have access to Facebook via my phone.  I think that Facebook might seem a bit pointless to some people but I now find it a really useful tool for keeping in touch with people who live half way round the world from me.  I can see photos and find out what people are up to.  I can stay in contact with just a few words here and there.  It's a quick and easy way that allows me to feel somewhat more connected with the rest of the world.  That, I think, is a good thing.  Having Facebook on my phone is pretty much a bad thing.  Because I can't stop checking it.  I check Facebook on my phone a ridiculous number of times in the day.  Sometimes I think I do it without even thinking.  It's the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do before I go to sleep at night.  If I've got a spare five minutes I'll quickly check my Facebook.  If the adverts come on - and there are a lot of adverts in this country - then I'll check my Facebook.  If I'm waiting for a lift then I'll check my Facebook.  When I go to lunch, have a tea break, finish work...I'll check my Facebook.  When I've just finished on my computer, where I've just been on my Facebook, I'll shut down my computer and then...CHECK MY FACEBOOK!  It's utter madness.  I'm checking it every five minutes.  And what for?  What for?  The most stupid thing is that the majority of people I'm friends with on Facebook live in England.  And they're asleep.  So they're not updating Facebook.  So I'm checking Facebook just to learn that nothing has changed.  Because everyone is asleep.  Sometimes I actually stop and tell myself I'm being stupid.  Other times I just go ahead and do it without even realising I'm doing it.  It's habit.  And I don't know why I have this need.  Am I scared I'll miss out on some important news?  Could something wonderful have happened in the five minutes since I last checked?  I got scolded by Mystical Roo the other day for checking my Facebook during a film.  What the hell?  I wasn't even thinking.  I just did it.  And it's all because it's on my phone.  If it wasn't on my phone then I wouldn't be on it half as much.  And I know what you're thinking.  Little Stalky, remove that app.  But I can't.  Because I like it. I like being in Sydney and being able to post a picture then and there for friends and family to see.  When they wake up.  But still.  There's something nice about being able to just post an update whilst you're in the moment.  I think I just need to curb the constant checking.  Maybe hide my phone.  Or attach a post it note with a reminder that nothing new is likely to have happened in the last five minutes.  And on that note...I'm off to check my emails.  

Little Stalky Adopts Some Plants

The Little Stalky plant collection continues to grow as I have now acquired two new additions.  I've actually adopted these plants and was happy to be able to offer them a home.  Mystical Roo was only saying the other day how he wanted a house plant.  I knew the plants would sneak their way into his heart eventually!  Now I have no idea what these plants are called - no idea at all - but I have attached photos so if anyone knows what they are please feel free to 

enlighten me.  As you can see we've

got large leafy dude with dark green, shiny leaves.  He came with a little tag that advised he was a sturdy plant that would be happy indoors or in a shady spot outside.  He's currently sitting alongside the rocking chair and seems happy to hang out in front of the window.  The other plant is the long beardy looking dude with a few purple and white flowers.  He's outside at the moment but I haven't decided if that's where he'll stay.  He was an indoor plant before and although he seems happy in the winter weather I wonder how he'll fare in that sunny spot once the summer sun starts beating down.  We'll see how it goes.  Needless to say I was in super excited mode when I was offered the chance to house these plants.  I've since introduced them to the rest of the clan and everyone seems to be getting on well.  I suggested that we name our new plants but then I realised I hadn't named the others and didn't want it to seem like I had favourites!  So there we have it.  Little Stalky's new plant friends.  Lets hope they enjoy their new home.  

The Dangers of Overzealous Cuddling

Today I'm in a lot of pain due to the hurting of my neck.  Now I'm not really sure what I've done to my neck but I imagine it's something along the lines of a trapped nerve.  Everything was fine when I first got up this morning.  I padded into the kitchen to find Mystical Roo making a cup of tea and I did what I normally do - I leapt in for a cuddle.  Well I think it was my overzealous cuddling that caused the damage to my neck.  After having a cuddle I suddenly became aware of a twinge in my neck that then developed into full on pain.  Who knew that cuddling could be so dangerous!  The pain is in the left side of my neck and reaches down into my shoulder.  I can't move my head without pain and I can't pick things up with my left hand without pain.  It's a pain!  I'm walking around in that way where you have to keep your head really still and as a result I look a little bit peculiar.  Mystical Roo has since rubbed some Deep Heat into the offending area so now I look a bit peculiar and smell a bit peculiar.  The Deep Heat helped a little bit but I'm never sure if it's worth the smell.  Not even sure what that smell is but I associate it with soreness and injuries.  Bad smell association.  Apart from being in pain, which is not very pleasant, the bad neck is stopping me from doing the most basic of tasks.  It took me five minutes just to try and get a hair clip in.  I had to wash my face with one hand.  We went to do a quick shop in Woolworths and I had to watch what I picked up.  Worse than that, I couldn't be on Trolley Dude spotting duty because I couldn't move my head.  Oh the frustration!  So now I'm sat at home, wrapped in my Snuggie and trying to keep as still as possible.  I'm not sure if there is anything I can do to fix the neck and I'm not sure how long I'll be out of action for but with Mystical Roo bound for Adelaide, I hope things sort themselves out pretty sharpish.  In the meantime I'm going to become better acquainted with the Deep Heat and raid the fridge for chocolate.  

Little Stalky Can't Comment

I just wanted to let everyone know that I can't comment on my posts at the moment.  Actually, I can't comment on anyone's posts at the moment.  Apparently it's a problem with actually signing in and the problem is being looked at but this was back in May so I hope someone is still looking at it.  Because I get highly frustrated not being able to interact with my fellow bloggers and I don't want anyone to think I'm ignoring them or not responding.  For a while I was able to post comments via my phone but I've just tried this today and it won't let me.  It just sits there looking at me and mocking me and refusing to let me post my comments.  Little Stalky has been gagged!  So I just wanted to say thank you to those who comment on my posts and assure you that I am reading them.  I am forming responses in my Little Stalky mind but unfortunately I can't communicate them at present.  I will keep trying and hopefully I'll soon be able to comment again.  In the meantime, feel free to say whatever the hell you want and be safe in the knowledge that I can't say anything back!

Little Stalky Milks the Resin

Yesterday I went into work with Mystical Roo to help prepare a couple of orders.  This involved much weighing of resin which, in my mind, is very much like the milking of a cow.  Not that I've ever milked a cow, but this is what I imagine it might be like.  If a cow had taps.  Ok, I guess it's nothing like milking a cow but it still reminds me of the milking of a cow.  But cows aside, the weighing of resin involves Mystical Roo giving me a weight and Little Stalky drawing out resin until the scales indicate I have hit the correct weight.  It's fairly straight forward but a hundred buckets later the palms of my hands were really starting to hurt.  I think this is partly from the constant turning of the tap and partly because my weak girl like hands can't get the lids on the buckets properly.  That is a tough job.  I had to leave that to Mystical Roo because it got to the point where my hands were feeling bruised.  He's got proper man hands so he was ok.  As well as sore hands I now have a sore butt.  And you might wonder what on earth this has to do with the weighing of resin.  It's less to do with the actual weighing of resin and more to do with sitting on a tiny plastic bucket because you're too lazy to go and find a bigger bucket.  I spent most of the day weighing resin and labelling buckets and it absolutely knackered me.  I got home, cooked up a chili and then went into zombie mode.  What a wuss!  And I wasn't even doing that much physical work.  Mystical Roo and Ammy - yes Ammy - do this all week.  They're hardcore.

A Trolley Dude Sighting

In an important development in the whole Trolley Dude saga, I have received intel from Monster Noggin that Trolley Dude has officially been sighted.  Monster Noggin has sighted Trolley Dude.  Seen him in action. Confirmed that Trolley Dude is indeed alive and well.  But the shocker?  Well, according to Monster Noggin, Trolley Dude has gone and shaved his head!  I know.  Shocking.  One can only begin the ponder the possibilities of what this actually means.  Trolley Dude once had long and lustrous locks that were longer than my own.  He wore his dark black hair in a ponytail.  We marvelled at it.  Then, Trolley Dude shocked us all by cutting his hair into a more common and mundane style.  Was he trying to blend in?  We noticed his absence amongst the trolleys and wondered if his hair was behind his Trolley Dude like powers.  When Trolley Dude hadn't been spotted in weeks and other, less qualified, less hairy, less dude like dudes took over the trolley monitoring responsibilities at Woolworths, we wondered whether Trolley Dude had moved on to pastures new.  But it turns out that this is not the case.  He was just shaving his head.  And now he's back.  Sans hair but back in action.  But what is the story behind the shaved head?  What does it all mean?  Is the shaved head really the reason behind this lengthy absence?  Did he have a short stint in the army?  Or maybe in prison?  Did he have lice?  Did he have a hair dye malfunction?  Perhaps he's just being practical and going for a maintenance free look.  Or maybe he's just sick of the stigma associated with his hair.  Hell, Trolley Dude is probably making the point that his hair is not behind his power.  He's all powerful without any hair at all.  He's making the ultimate statement of Trolley Dude power.  Impressive.  It got my attention.  Though in truth I've yet to see Trolley Dude back in action.  All of this is based on the reports from Monster Noggin.  And as trustworthy as Monster Noggin is, if she wasn't wearing her glasses then we can't be sure of anything.  If Monster Noggin wasn't wearing her glasses then the Trolley Dude sighting may well have been an ugly naked mole rat.  Or a cactus.  Or a land dwelling shark.  Or just a random shopper pushing his or her trolley.  But I like to think that Monster Noggin was wearing her glasses.  Or was at least close enough that glasses were not necessary to ascertain the identity of Trolley Dude.  I may not have seen him whilst out shopping last night and I may not have seen him whilst getting milk the night before that but something tells me that Trolley Dude is making a comeback.  And he'll be bigger, badder and better than ever. 

Attack of the Ash Cloud

There's a lot of wind about here at the moment.  And volcanic ash.  Apparently a volcano in Chile has blown its top and sent a slew of ash into the air.  Somehow this ash cloud has made its way over to the land of Oz and it's causing havoc with flights.  Mystical Roo was meant to be flying to Perth today but that has now been postponed due to this rogue ash cloud.  I'm secretly - or not so secretly as I'm blogging about this - pleased because it means Mystical Roo will be around for a few more days before he has to jet off to Melbourne on Monday.  My he's a well travelled Roo.  I assume the flights will be up and running again by then.  Lets hope so because I imagine this whole thing is upsetting many folk.  You'd be a bit miffed if the ash cloud was eating into your holiday or stopping you from getting somewhere important.  You hear tales of people missing weddings and becoming cut off from loved ones.  That's sad.  But you also hear tales of people getting really angry at the airlines, which I don't quite understand.  It's not their fault that a volcano decided to get its ash on.  I think I'd be more concerned if they were ignoring safety factors and sending flights on their merry way.  Ash cloud?  What ash cloud.  Less good.  So we should direct our frustration towards the volcano.  In Chile.  But then I guess that's not fair seeing as how the volcano probably didn't do it on purpose.  I doubt the volcano had malicious intent.  So maybe we should blame the ash cloud itself?  But then does the ash cloud really have any say over where it goes?  Probably not.  It's probably dictated by the wind.  And seeing as how the wind has been blowing over trees and rattling windows, I say lets aim our frustration towards the wind.  Lets shake our fists angrily at the wind.  Or ask it nicely if it wouldn't mind shifting that ash cloud somewhere where it will  have less of an impact.  Another cunning plan from the genius mind of Little Stalky.

Thwarted by an Orange

Evil

I have been officially thwarted by an orange.  An orange!  Innocent looking thing but this orange was definitely harbouring evil intent.  To tempt a Little Stalky with its orangey goodness only to put up an impossible fight.  Which I lost.  It's shameful.  I had packed an orange in my lunch and was looking forward to said orange.  Now normally I'm of the habit of slicing an orange and just munching away from the rind but, being at work, I had planned to simply peel the orange and eat it segment by segment.  Not as easy as it sounds.  Impossible as it turns out.  I set about unpeeling my orange and was surprised at how tough the peel was.  This was no clementine or satsuma.  This was a hardcore orange.  Godfather of the citrus family.  The chunky monkey of peelable fruit.  A nemesis I had never expected to encounter.  The peel of the orange was coming away in teeny tiny little chunks and I was only about half way through when my fingers actually started aching from the effort.  Aching fingers!  And my fingernails were protesting.  I'm a persistent little bugger so I kept at it.  Peeling away.  It was a frustrating process and my fingers were sticky and my fingernails were clogged with rind.  Not a good look.  I thought that if I could just break a segment off then the rest of it would be easy to get into.  But I couldn't get close.  The white bit - no idea what that is called - was simply impenetrable.  It wasn't budging for anyone.  Especially not me.  I couldn't make a dent.  And I wanted my orange!  By this time I had become highly frustrated and decided to give up on the damned thing.  No orange is worth that much trouble.  I photographed the orange, knowing I would want to share this story, scowled at the orange, threw the orange in the bin and then washed my hands of the residue of our fight.  Then I remembered that our work kitchen is actually fully equipped and I could have simply cut the thing open with a knife.  Thwarted by an orange.

A Little Stalky Composting Adventure



Inside Little Stalky's Compost Bin



I am pleased to announce that my compost heap is officially growing.  This morning I have been actively composting and have enclosed some photos of my efforts.  Mystical Roo snaffled me a bucket and we've been using this bucket to collect kitchen waste to add to the compost bin.  The bucket lives under the sink, has a lid and is emptied - or is going to be emptied - on a regular basis.  Today I have added my first bucket of kitchen waste into the mix.  Exciting stuff.  Tea bags, fruit, peelings and even some more of those damned pesky oats (where do they keep coming from!)  I am aware that I need to maintain a balance of "green" and "brown" material in my compost heap.  I can obviously contribute plenty of kitchen waste but unless I want to go on some sort of plant massacre - I don't! - I don't have much in the way of garden waste.  I don't have any grass.  I don't have a garden.  So I figured I would snaffle myself some grass.  And where better to snaffle some grass than the massive holiday park that has like 35 acres of the stuff.  I politely asked one of the ground staff if they wouldn't mind gathering me a bag of grass.  If it wasn't too much trouble.  It turns out it's very easy to get a bag of grass when there is so much of it laying around.  In a matter of minutes I had acquired a huge bin bag full of grass.  And I was chuffed.  Then I had to explain that I was composting, which in turn explained my need for the grass.  I've added two bucketfuls of grass to the mix and still have loads left, which is now living in the laundry room.  I think that grass will last me a while, but at least I know I've got grass on tap if I need it.  You may also notice that I've attached a photograph of my hand - yes that's me - holding a garden tool of some description.  I have no idea what this thing is called but it serves the purpose of stirring up the compost.  I like to think of it as my compost twirling stick type thing.  It gets the job done.  So this morning I've added a bucket of kitchen waste, two buckets of grass and have stirred the whole thing up.  I'm far too excited about this and have to stop myself from going to check the compost every half hour.  You know, just to see if anything has changed.  But I'm really enjoying my composting experience.  And I think Mystical Roo likes our attempt at some green living.  I will keep you all posted on the compost and it's progress.  It's a Little Stalky composting adventure! 

A Bucket Full of Kitchen Waste - Nice!

A Compost Twirling Tool

Someone Disses the Duck

Stalky fans may know that I in turn am a huge fan of The Hungry Duck.  I love the Duck.  And as a contributor to Trip Advisor I have obviously given it a rave review.  Because it's very, very good.  But it would seem that my review has offended someone.  I would like to share with you, the email that I received in response to my review:

Dear Little Stalky,


I'm pleased that you had such a lovely time at the Hungry Duck. I was a bit concerned at your somewhat evangelical eulogy espousing the joys of the establishment. I think you need to open your eyes to the dining experience and perhaps try some places outside Greater Berry. Rest assured there are far more tantalising restaurants awaiting your epicurean investigation.
Kindest regards,


Fivestartraveller1 and Clare

Well, I was actually quite cross when I found this lingering in my inbox.  It just struck me as really rather rude and patronising.  Frankly, if I want to espouse the joys of the Hungry Duck then that is my right.  I'm sure it's something called freedom of speech.  Yes.  That's it.  And why would you assume that because I had eaten at and subsequently reviewed the Hungry Duck that I hadn't dined outside of Berry?  I'm from England for Christs sake (oooh is that more evangelical behaviour) so of course I've eaten outside of Berry.  I'm actually a rather well travelled Little Stalky and there aren't many cuisines that I haven't tried.  This ruffled my feathers so much that I actually replied.  But I'm a polite kind of girl (most of the time) so I kept my response clean and to the point, despite my urge to tell this person to shove it up their ass.  Anyway, on further investigation it seems that this reviewer didn't enjoy their experience at the Hungry Duck. I can only assume this is due to a taste bud malfunction of some description.  Though personally I picture this reviewer as one of those people who just like to complain about everything. This can only be the case for someone who actively seeks out a fellow reviewer just to tell them that their opinion is wrong.  How can my opinion be wrong when it's my opinion.  Honestly!  Anyway, I think I've given this person far too much of my time and attention already.  But I felt the need to share.  To vent.  And I feel much better for it.  Thank you for listening.   

Pizza Hangover

Example of yummy
homemade pizza courtesy
of Mystical Roo

I have a number of weaknesses and one of those is a passion for pizza.  And I appreciate a good quality pizza with a Mystical Roo homemade pizza being one of the best out there.  But I've also been known to indulge in a Dominos pizza.  Partly because on Tuesday they're currently selling for $4.90 and partly because I do actually enjoy the taste.  They're obviously not as good as Mystical Roo's but I still can't help myself.  The trouble is with a Dominos pizza is I know they're nowhere near as healthy as a homemade pizza.  You can tell that simply from the amount of grease that is left at the bottom of the pizza box.  You can also tell by way of what I like to think of as a pizza hangover.  And what is this pizza  hangover?  Well, there's no nausea but there is definitely a ridiculous thirst and sometimes a headache.  I believe this must come from the salt content in junk food.  Upon finishing a pizza from Dominos I'm always ridiculously thirsty.  But no matter how much I drink I will always wake up in the night feeling utterly parched.  And it's that weird kind of unquenchable thirst, which no amount of water seems to fix.  Yuck.  I take a glass of water to bed with me when I've been on a pizza binge because I know I'll wake up with the thirst.  I guess I should stop eating the Dominos pizza but it's hard sometimes.  Especially if I'm hungry, have nothing in the house and if the hunger and lack of food fall on a Tuesday when the pizzas are ridiculously cheap.  I'll perhaps have to see if I can persuade Mystical Roo to create me a stockpile of homemade pizza.  Or, I could make my own pizza.  But I just don't have the touch.  I suspect that Mystical Roo might be Italian.

Trolley Dude Update

I thought it was about time I gave you all a trolley dude update as I'm sure you've all been wondering and worrying about what has become of my favourite trolley pushing dude.  Well, I'm afraid I don't have good news.  Because trolley dude hasn't been spotted in a few weeks now.  And I don't know what this means.  I saw that random kid pushing trolley dude's trolleys.  Then, the other day, I saw a random old man pushing trolley dude's trolleys.  Mystical Roo suggested that trolley dude had suddenly aged overnight but I think he was just humouring me.  Trying to ease the pain.  Could it be that trolley dude is taking some kind of break?  Or perhaps trolley dude is ill?  I can't imagine that he was sacked.  He's the best damned Woolworths employee out there.  Perhaps he moved on to pastures new.  Perhaps he was offered an even better gig.  Where trolleys are a plenty.  Where their wheels don't squeak.  Where there is nothing to do all day but roam free amongst the trolleys.  I'll have to find an answer soon.  I can see I'll have to schedule additional trips to Woolworths just so I can keep an eye on the situation.  But perhaps that's the plan?  Perhaps Woolworths have hidden their prize employee just to cause a stir amongst the customers.  Maybe they know it will lure us back in our droves, just so that we can check on the mysterious trolley dude.  Well they think they're cunning but I'm one step ahead of them.  I'll schedule a trip to Woolworths alright.  But I won't buy anything.  Cue evil laugh.  Mwah ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......

Little Stalky and the Rolled Oats

I am possibly one of the most clumsy and illogical people in the world.  Ever.  On returning from a food shop the other day, Mystical Roo and I began the task of unpacking.  Mystical Roo normally leads the operation as he is sensible and good at organising the fridge.  I tend to lurk and try to make myself useful.  On this occasion I tried to make myself useful by refilling the jar of oats.  Take the packet of oats.  Undo the packet of oats.  Pour the oats into the jar.  Simple.  Or not so simple.  My first mistake was in the opening of the bag.  The kitchen scissors were dirty so rather than washing them I made a downwards tear into the pack.  Bad plan.  Always tear across.  Across!  I made to pour the oats into their jar and was dismayed when the majority of them missed the jar and instead tumbled over the kitchen counter and then down onto the floor.  Oops.  Yes, big oops.  And upon uttering these words I got the usual question from Mystical Roo of what have you done know.  What indeed.  It was the stupid hole that did it.  Both holes actually.  The hole in the jar wasn't big enough - not for me anyway - and the hole I'd made in the packet was squiffy and causing uneven pourage of the oats.  I tried again and got the same result.  Funny that.  Then, for reasons unknown - I think I could have fixed the problem by simply adjusting the tear in the packet - I decided a funnel would sort things out.  Yes.  A funnel.  So I grabbed the big funnel, balanced it in the jar and set about pouring oats into the funnel.  I didn't stop until the funnel was full whereby I realised that the oats weren't getting through the spout.  Bugger.  I gave it a shake, gave it a poke but still the oats refused to move.  I was wishing I'd never started this task as it was turning into a kind of monster mission.  I then gave up on the funnel and poured the oats stuck in the funnel, into the jar.  Well most of them.  There was definitely more spillage at this point.  I then conceded that I couldn't make much more of a mess so I just went for it and hoped the rest of the oats would find their way into the jar.  Most of them did.  But a lot of them went over the counter and again onto the floor.  Honestly, what kind of remould can't empty a packet of oats into a jar.  It's shameful.  I swept up the oats from the counter and decided that at least they could be used in my compost, which was exciting.  The oats on the floor had to be hoovered up at which point I was reminded of those hoover adverts where someone has purposefully spilt something on the floor just to demonstrate the amazing hoovering power of their hoover.  I figured this would be a good advert for Dyson.  Of course the Dyson did a good job.  I love my Dyson.  Oh look, my mind is wandering again.  So, oats.  The moral of this story?  Don't let Little Stalky near your rolled oats.  Unless you want to make an advert for your hoover. 

The Basil Saga Continues



I apologise for the poor quality of these
photos.  I have to use my Blackberry and
I really don't have the most steady hand

 Today I woke up and discovered that my basil plant has pretty much snuffed it.  I looked out onto my balcony and to my horror the basil plant's leaves had wilted, gone black or fallen off.  All I can say is what the hell?  What the heckity hell?  I literally posted a photograph yesterday that showed the basil in relatively good health.  My God, did I jinx it or something?  I think I must have done.  I've been bringing him indoors of a night when the temperatures get too chilly but things have been ok recently.  We had a lot of wind and rain last night but no more than the past few nights.  What could possibly have changed to have caused the basil plant to give in like this.  Will the Pigeon hasn't been about recently so I can hardly blame him and the land dwelling shark isn't known to venture out in stormy weather.  I just can't get my head around it.  And I'm devastated.  Ridiculously so actually.  I feel like I've failed my plant.  All the others have been ok.  The tomato plants looked like they might snuff it at one point but I brought them back from the brink.  And thinking of the tomato plants I think it's just dawned on me what the problem is.  It was the composting.  It was yesterday, when I took my dead plants and chopped them into tiny pieces.  I've traumatised my basil plant!  It obviously saw what happened to its plant friends and couldn't take the stress.  Oh what have I done!  Who knew that basil was such a nervous character.  Well I still haven't given in and accepted that the plant is actually dead.  This is because of the new shoots and leaves I can see at the bottom of the plant.  I've brought him inside again and think I may well just leave him inside to see what happens next.  He's obviously not coping well on the balcony.  I'll monitor the situation and let you know how he goes.  Wish me luck...

Little Stalky's Winter Garden



Compost is a go!

  This morning I've been out battling the elements as I attempted to have a sort out in the garden.  Balcony.  My balcony garden.  You know what I mean.  You may or may not be aware that I have been planning to start composting and have as yet to start the process due to the fact that Mystical Roo and I were looking for an effective method to seal the bottom of our bottomless compost bin.  Well I've fixed that problem and today I can confirm that Mystical Roo and I are officially getting our compost on.  Whoop whoop!  So what was my solution to my bottomless problem?  A bit of plastic and some sticky tape.  Oh yes, it's technical stuff.  Mystical Roo snaffled me a large sheet of plastic from work and handed me a roll of green tape.  I don't know if this tape has any special sticky or waterproof qualities but it seems to be doing the job.  It's not sellotape, it's that big tape that you might use if you wanted to kidnap someone.  Or cover a hole in your paddling pool.  Any hoo, I hoicked the compost bin back indoors, whereby I set it down over the plastic, which I had carefully folded so that it was three sheets thick on the bottom.  See, technical.  I told you.  Then I got crazy with the sticky tape.  As you can see from the attached picture the compost bin is now taped up and ready to go.  You may also note that there is an empty plant pot sat atop the compost bin.  This is to stop the lid flying off and heading out to sea.  So I've actually started filling my compost bin.  From the other photograph you may notice there a couple of plant dudes missing from the balcony.  The tomato plants and the chilli plant.  They're now in tiny pieces at the bottom of the compost heap.  I think I actually got a bit sad chopping up my chilli plant.  We'd had good times.  But I think the plants would be happy to know that they will continue to contribute to the garden even though they've technically died.  So now the balcony is a little less crowded.  In one corner we've got the mint, who is really flourishing in this wet weather, the lemon tree, caterpillar free for several weeks now, the parsley, looking dinky because we keep eating him and the rosemary, which in the few days we were away has decided to sprout numerous purple flowers.  Next we have the thyme, which is looking a bit woody but seems happy enough, big strawberry plant who is, in this photo, flashing his strawberries and next to him is the baby strawberry plant.  Lastly there's my basil plant and my thyme plant.  The basil is looking less bushy than before but is so much healthier looking than when I reported he was suffering in the cold.  The thyme just seems hardcore and happy to put up with anything.  He's cool.  So there we have it.  That's my winter garden.



From left to right:  Mint, Lemon Tree, Parsley,
Rosemary, Thyme, Big Strawberry, Little
Strawberry, Basil and Thyme



DVD Deja Vu

Mystical Roo and I like to watch a lot of films.  On a rainy day we've been known to watch four or five in one sitting.  I love a good film session, especially if film snackage is involved.  Carrot and cucumber with hummus.  Sweet chilli flavoured kettle chips (crisps), malteasers, cheese and crackers, sweets of varying varieties and fruit, preferably grapes and strawberries.  You see I've got a good selection going on.  Sweet and savoury.  Healthy and not.  It might sound excessive but it makes for a fabulous afternoon of indulgence.  Add a glass of wine and the whole thing is heavenly.  Mystical Roo and I will snuggle under the snuggie, put our feet up and put on a film.  We seem to regularly exhaust our choice in the latest releases and so go back through older films to watch classics and other tales that have come highly recommended.  We watch all sorts of films from the latest Harry Potter release to obscure foreign horrors.  From gangster flicks to ridiculous fantasy films with dancing ogres.  Ok, that's actually just me but there we go.  The trouble is that sometimes we watch so many films that we forget what we've already watched.  I'll sometimes grab a film and offer it as a suggestion to Mystical Roo who will then inform me that we've already seen it.  And vice versa.  The one film that thwarted us - on more than one occasion - is "Rise of the Foot Soldier."  This is a British film about gangsters and football hooliganism and although good, did not necessarily warrant a second viewing.  But we picked this film up a second time without either one of us realising it.  And we started watching it thinking, gosh this is all rather familiar.  Then it dawned on us that yes we'd already watched it.  Flag darn it.  The thing is we came very close to doing it again.  Ooh this looks like a good one.  No Stalky!  No!  Step away from the DVD.  For the love of God step away from the DVD!  I enjoyed the film but it wasn't like it was ground breaking or anything.  All I can say is that it must have a bloody fantastic blurb to make us keep grabbing for it.  Or a very jazzy front cover.  Or it has somehow employed a form of mind control that has us forgetting we've watched the film only to force us to rent a DVD that we have already seen.  Sinister.  But this is now a running joke for me and Mystical Roo when we hit the DVD store.  Ooh look there's "Rise of the Foot Soldier", shall we watch that one.  Cue much giggling.  We're so witty.  Ha ha.  So today is a bank holiday Monday and as with all bank holiday Mondays, it is pouring with rain.  So Mystical Roo picked up three DVDS for our viewing pleasure.  It's taken us until about 19.00 to get started but we'll probably get through two at least.  And I can confirm that all of the DVDs are as yet unseen and do not include "Rise of the Foot Soldier".  Now all I need to do is sort out the snackage and we're set for the night.  Nice!

Inexplicable Scarecrow Activity

Yesterday, Mystical Roo and I made the return trip home from Melbourne.  This time we decided to go the scenic route, which involved many, many trees, spooky mist, the odd lake and definite kangaroo action.  It was indeed pretty but after leaving Melbourne at about 09.30, it wasn't until 21.30 that we actually got back home.  A long day.  It became somewhat eerie travelling once the sun had set as the little country towns nestled in the valleys seemed to shut down.  It wasn't even 18.00 when windows began to darken, the streets emptied and the petrol stations closed their doors.  This was a problem when the fuel light came on but luckily for us we were able to find a BP along the road.  It seemed strange though that on a Saturday night, of the bank holiday weekend no less, that the towns seemed devoid of life.  Strange?  Or downright sinister?  I don't think I would have been that suspicious until we came across a town about an hour or so from home.  Things were carrying on as usual.  It was dark.  There was no one about.  Mystical Roo and I were listening to a podcast whilst munching on sweets.  Then I saw the first person I'd seen in a long time.  An actual person out in the dark and on the street.  It appeared to be a girl.  With blonde hair.  And she was leaning against a letter box.  Then on closer inspection it appeared she was actually tied to the letter box.  Then, on even closer inspection, it turned out not to be a girl at all but a really freaky looking scarecrow.  Tied to a letter box.  What the?!  Who ties a scarecrow to a letterbox?  What would you hope to achieve?  To keep the postman away from the letters.  Well that's just silly.  I remarked to Mystical Roo that I had seen a weird scarecrow but he seemed to think it was innocent enough.  That was until we saw the next one.  This one was strapped to a lamppost.  It was all eerie under the glow of the light and seemed to be pointing at the car as we passed.  It was at this point I decided that there was definitely something afoot.  Something weird and village like.  I fully expected someone to charge the ute with a pitchfork and possibly a flaming torch.  I wouldn't have been surprised if a big ass werewolf leapt in front of the car.  I pictured zombies lurching along behind us.  Then there was another one!  And this one was the most freaky because it looked so life like.  Strapped to a fence with its head lolling to one side.  This was a messed up town and I informed Mystical Roo, in no uncertain terms, that he should put pedal to the metal and get us the hell out of there.  I know a weird situation when I see one and I refuse to submit to the stereotypical role of female in a car and get out, investigate the weird situation only to be hit round the head with a chair leg.  Yes, a chair leg!  When faced with inexplicable scarecrow action, particularly in the dead of night, there's only one thing to do and that's haul ass out of there.  Don't get sucked in!  You're an outsider and they know it.  You're not local and the scarecrows are out to get you!  I swear to God that I had to keep looking back over my shoulder and make sure the damned scarecrows weren't actually following us up the road.  What kind of crazy ass town does that to people?  Who is out there strapping up random scarecrows and why?  It's all very sinister and highly bizarre.  Never - I repeat never - trust a random scarecrow. 

The Fire Pit

After achieving both of my objectives for yesterday I decided to return to familiar territory and scouted my way back towards Federation Square.  Writing had been done and a Krispy Kreme doughnut had been purchased, consumed and judged.  I'm not that fussed about Krispy Kreme doughnuts.  It wasn't bad but I've had much, much better.  But doughnuts are beside the point.  There was more musical entertainment at the square but this time I selected a spot somewhat further back, near a random fire pit.  I couldn't see much but I could hear things absolutely fine and this time I was able to keep warm.  What is a random fire pit doing in the middle of Melbourne?  I have no idea.  I think it's part of some sort of installation.  Trying to be artistic and what not.  I don't know about art but it was functional and there was something nice about this rustic thing in the middle of a modern city.  Maybe that's the point.  But of course you can't have a fire pit in the middle of the city without security.  Oh no.  Not today.  Someone might hurt themselves.  Some poor child might fling themselves into the flames - though you can probably see from my photo that it's more glowing embers than actual fire - , someone might trip over.  Basically we have to guard against humans doing stupid things.  Because no one can look after themselves anymore.  I think the only thing I'd be worried about is the flames spreading.  If someone is stupid enough to go poking around in the fire then that's their beef.  Any hoo, this fire pit had no less than three men guarding it.  Three of them!  They were circling it and everything.  They had fluorescent jackets.  Now there's something about the wearing of fluorescent jackets that goes to some people's heads.  Gives them a feeling a power when actually they're just guarding a fire pit.  Or holding a stop / go sign.  Now there are a lot of important people who wear fluorescent jackets.  And they can accept the fluorescent jacket wearing power.  But there are some less important folk, still important but not as important (don't want to offend anyone here), who just get a bit carried away.  It's all well and good to be guarding the fire, chucking on the occasional log, but there's no need to circle the damned thing.  Or eyeball anyone who gets close to it.  Or shout at a child who poked the sand.  I'm pretty sure the fluorescent jacket wearing fire pit guards wanted to take out the seagulls that were landing on the sand.  They were fire crazy.  It made me want to rebel and run in and poke a log.  Then the music started up again and it made me want to dance around the fire.  Then I figured maybe the smoke was getting to me and I was imagining everything.  I left and went in search of food.  I was there for a while though because now I smell like bonfire. 

Little Stalky Ventures Out

Yesterday I decided to venture out into Melbourne...on my own.  Solo Stalky.  Sans Mystical Roo.  On my bill.  Mystical Roo was working for most of the day so I thought I should take a look around.  Suss things out.  Get my Stalky strut on and blend in with the city folk.  Just like in Sydney.  Though with less McDonalds action.  Firstly I had me some breakfast.  It always feels strange having breakfast on my own.  I feel like people are staring at me and wondering why I have no friends.  I'm sure this is not the case as many people dine alone but I don't think I look like the business type.  Therefore I must have no friends.  Bah!  I thought about bringing my book with me but I have issues eating and reading at the same time.  I miss my mouth.  That would be an embarrassing public display.  Instead I found myself a spot by the window where I could do a bit of people watching and made sure to have my phone nearby so if needed I could have something to focus on.  Yes, I know I over think the situation but that's what I do.  I had a very nice breakfast of eggs Benedict with asparagus and three cups of tea.  A good start to the day.  Then I ventured out into the big city, conscious of the fact that, without Mystical Roo, I would have to take responsibility for not getting lost.  Easier said than done as I have a notoriously bad sense of direction.  Initially I headed in the direction of a blue sign that I thought said tourist information.  It actually said something harbour.  Not actually something harbour because that wouldn't make sense.  I just forget which harbour.  Anyway, this is besides the point.  I realised I didn't want to go in this direction and had to do that random thing of stopping and turning around without looking like too much of numpty.  Make it look like you've forgotten something and no one will question you.  Stop, pause, make thoughtful face, then light bulb above the head face, spin around and get marching.  Purposeful.  Not stupid at all.  I was ridiculously careful to walk mostly in a straight line and tried to avoid side streets for fear of getting lost.  There are a lot of shops in Melbourne.  I came across the expensive street and was tempted to go into Chanel but was scared of being frowned upon for having not enough money to actually buy anything by Chanel.  I continued.  There are a crazy amount of souvenir shops, all selling the same things.  There are also many coffee shops, doughnut shops and a huge number of Seven Elevens.  Not a Woolworths in sight.  I wonder where the people of Melbourne do their grocery shopping.  Do they have a trolley dude.  Probably not.  And that's a shame because everyone should have a trolley dude.  We stumbled across a huge sweet shop on our first night but wouldn't you know it, unsupervised, unrestricted, I couldn't find it again.  Typical!  After getting bored of wandering around shops - I'm not much of a shopper and even less of a window shopper - I decided I might do some writing.  Organised person that I am I had brought my laptop (with a non working battery) but forgot my notepad.  So I found myself a shop and made the exciting purchase of notepad, pen and grape flavoured lolly pop.  Living on the edge people!  My life is an exciting one.  I thought I'd head back to Federation Square - full of weird shaped buildings - and find me a spot to do some writing.  I ambled over - I do a lot of ambling - and was approached by a girl about my age who asked if I was looking for work.  I advised that no, I was just visiting and she smiled and walked off.  I then decided this was a random question and cursed myself for not finding out more.  For all I know she was a model scout or something.  Sarcastic ha!  I invested a dollar in a fluorescent Slurpee and then got distracted by a jazz band who had set up in the square.  The notepad was forgotten as I claimed a spot on the wall amongst various other folk and set about enjoying some music.  But it was bloody cold.  And although I had a coat and scarf I did not have any gloves.  With poor circulation it wasn't long before things started going numb.  It was only when I tried to phone Mystical Roo that I realised my index fingers weren't working properly.  And were a very pale colour.  Dag nabbit.  I figured that I probably needed to warm up again and that it was time for lunch.  As I bought a sandwich in the Seven Eleven my fingers still hadn't regained feeling and I had serious issues handling change.  I held up the queue and everything.  I warmed up back in the hotel room and promptly fell asleep with my sandwich.  So I'm not sure how productive my day was, especially seeing as the notepad is still in its plastic bag, but I enjoyed it.  Sometimes it's nice to have a break from having to do anything in particular.  A day of just ambling can be refreshing.  Today though I have two objectives.  To do some writing.  And to try my first Krispy Kreme doughnut. 

Little Stalky Ponders the Pub

One of the things I like about the cities in Australia is that they have pubs that actually feel like pubs.  Proper English style pubs.  With beams and brick.  Lots of tables squished together.  Pub carpet that cunningly disguises spilt beer and other suspicious stains.  The obligatory old dude with a pint.  They're great.  And surprisingly hard to come across.  The "pubs" in my home town are less like pubs and more like, well, bookies.  And that's just a bit random.  So many of the pubs in Australia seem to focus on gambling and you end up with pokie machines all over the place, screens up on the walls showing the results of the horses and the dogs and the boxing and whatever else might be going on.  Then there's this thing called Keno, which I think is a kind of a constant bingo.  Or something.  I don't know.  I have no interest in it.  But because of this, there are little Keno slips at every table and pens.  And the tables are those tall, grey, plastic things.  All of this creates just a horrible atmosphere.  It's bright and tacky and somehow reminds me of the Seventies even though I wasn't even born in the Seventies.  It really is like a bookies.  A bookies with a bar and possible a dance floor.  And this just seems crazy to me.  Surely gambling and alcohol is a terrible combination.  Drunken people make bad decisions at the best of times.  And Australia wonder why their country has a gambling problem.  Take it out of the pubs!  One little fruit machine hidden in a corner is one thing, but a whole horde of them is just asking for trouble.  It's like there's a mini casino in every town.  And don't get me started on the Leagues Clubs.  They're a whole other level of weird.  I like my pubs dank and dark.  Ok maybe not dank but it's nice to find somewhere cosy, with a bit of atmosphere.  Australian cities seem full of these kind of pubs yet the little towns are distinctly lacking.  Mystical Roo and I found such a pub last night and for a moment it was like being back in England.  It's freaking freezing here in Melbourne so we were bundled up in coats and scarves and then we went down - yes down - into this pub where it was warm and snug with lots of people huddled around little wooden tables.  I'm not sure if there was an actual fire burning in the hearth but it wouldn't have been out of place.  Not a pokie machine in sight.  And no horrible little betting slips.  It was perfect.  So nice in fact that we stayed for dinner.  The only reminder that we were in the city was the fact that a beer and a glass of wine cost us nearly $20!  Yikes. 

Little Stalky and Mystical Roo Go to Melbourne

This morning I was up at the ungodly hour of 04.30 so that I could accompany Mystical Roo on a trip to Melbourne.  So, exciting news people.  Today's blog post is coming to you directly from Melbourne.  Whoop whoop!  We've driven down from New South Wales and arrived at about 15.00.  A long trip indeed.  And to be honest there's not a whole lot to see.  It's very pretty of course; lots of trees and hills and what not but that scenery doesn't change.  At all.  Luckily for Mystical Roo he had me for company and although I did nod off a couple of times I tried to remain awake for most of the journey.  It was freezing first thing this morning so it was no wonder one of the first things I saw was a massive huntsman spider.  Huge beast of a thing it was.  And obviously seeking refuge from the cold.  It was climbing up the drivers side window and I noticed it as Mystical Roo got out to get petrol.  I'm not scared of spiders as such but I did manage to point, scream and then laugh at myself for being totally stupid.  We hit the road for an hour or so before stopping for breakfast once the sun came up.  Then it was back on the road and we were eating sweets and drinking energy drinks before 07.30.  Wrong on a number of levels but by that point it felt like we'd been up for ages.  We were on the crisps before 10.00.  No wonder we skipped lunch.  We were stuffed on junk food.  But that's part of the fun of a road trip.  That and some music, some pod casts and a little bit of conversation.  Not too much though or you'll drive each other batty.  Mystical Roo did all of the driving with the ute in cruise control pretty much the whole way.  I was on wildlife spotting duty.  At one point I was pretty sure I'd spotted a gang of kangaroos but these actually turned out to be sheep.  Most disappointing.  But I did spot one kangaroo and of that I was sure.  I know they're out there but hiding in tall yellow grass they're pretty hard to spot.  As are the koalas. I didn't see a single koala.  Instead, counting the gang of sheep and the lone kangaroo I also saw many cows, many cockatoos, many horses and what may or may not have been an alpaca.  Or possibly a llama.  I can't be sure.  There's not a whole lot to see out on the road and there were times when we were the only car in sight.  We barely came across a town.  The town we did come across had a random submarine parked in the middle and for such a small and rustic looking place had four museums.  Four museums?  That's just going over the top if you ask me.  And what's with the submarine?  Who knows.  I thought it best not to ask.  Didn't want to offend any locals.  So we've had a fairly long day and no doubt we'll be ready for bed at an early hour.  I'm currently writing this from our hotel room and have now decided that I might be ready for a feed.  Time to round up the troops - or troop - and see what Melbourne has to offer in the way of dinner.  So, for the next three days or so it will be Little Stalky adventures from Melbourne.  And as Mystical Roo will be working I'll be out there unsupervised... 

What the Sock?

Is the sorting of socks possibly one of the most annoying chores in the world?  I don't know.  But it's definitely up there.  Along with cleaning the sieve and trying to duvet up on your bill.  I was cursing the socks as I was creating heaps of underwear.  You have one sock and then you have to locate that socks partner, then you have to confirm it is actually that socks partner before tucking the socks together in what must be the universal way to tuck socks together before tossing them on the heap.  Then you're left with a rogue sock who has no partner.  Or worse, two rogue socks who should match up but don't.  What the hell!  We all know it's the sock monster behind this kind of sock mayhem.  But what I want to know is who decided that socks even have to match.  Honestly, who is actually looking that closely at your feet.  Most of the time the socks are hidden away inside of shoes and if you've got your shoes off then you're obviously somewhere that you're comfortable having your shoes off, therefore comfortable with the people in front of whom you have taken your shoes off and if these people are judging you for odd socks then they're not your friends at all!  And odd socks can be stylish.  It gives you a funky and somewhat quirky look.  And what if you can't decide which pair to wear?  The stripey socks or the duck socks.  One of each.  Job done.  I propose an end to matching socks.  At least mine are vaguely easy to put together but Mystical Roos are all black.  And you'd think then that it wouldn't matter.  Just chuck a black sock in with a black sock.  But then you've got a black sock with a logo on it.  Or a black sock that is slightly higher than the other.  Or a black sock with a different texture.  God damn you black socks!  I think that from now on I should just chuck the socks into one communal pile and grab socks at random.  All I need is two socks.  It doesn't matter which ones I grab.  Then all I have to do is gather the socks rather than sort them.  Yes Mystical Roo's socks are far too big for me and yes, my socks are much too small for Mystical Roo but if I aim for the brightly coloured stripey section of the pile and he aims for the dark, blackish section of the pile then we're sorted.  I think I may have just devised what some might call a cunning plan. 

Little Stalky: Audience Member

You may have gathered from yesterday's tale that Little Stalky and co have recently been to Sydney to participate as audience members for the Australian X Factor.  Alas Mystical Roo was absent for he was playing football for his new team and, mystical as he is, could not be in two places at once.  Though how cool would that be!  So, X Factor.  This was the audition stage so I was excited about the prospect of seeing the weird dude who thinks he can sing but actually can't sing.  It's cruel, I know, but I just can't help myself.  We arrived to a very long queue and had our wrists stamped with something illegible.  Then we had to lurk impatiently whilst various television folk got us to act all excited over and over and over.  Honestly, there's only so much excitement one can generate whilst lurking in a queue.  Apparently we were waiting for the judges.  We had to cheer them along the red carpet before anyone was allowed in.  So eventually the judges arrived and we were admitted into the entertainment centre.  Our judges were Ronan Keating, Mel B, Guy Sebastian and Natalie Basthingwaite.  Once they settled down behind their table the acts started coming on and things went really smoothly.  It was nothing like Top Gear with loads of standing around and retaking of stuff.  Once we were in and things kicked off then that was it.  Act came on, act did their thing and the judges judged.  We as audience members cheered, booed, laughed and on one occasion gave a standing ovation.  We're good like that.  It was a fun thing to be a part of and after the initial lurking there was rarely a dull moment.  I loved listening to people sing and I loved being part of the audience, offering my support or occasionally a suspicious look.  There were all the usual suspects.  The dude in the crazy shirt who thought he could sing, could sing a bit but not that well and refused to accept any criticism.  The crying girl.  The girl who has to hold her stomach to be able to hit the high notes.  The person who can sing but has no stage presence and the person who has plenty of stage presence but can't sing.  There was a man who did an amazing and totally unexpected Shaggy impression.  There was a possible German with a possible wig who was very aggressive but gave a beautiful rendition of "You'll Never Walk Alone".  It was just a shame his attitude got him sent off stage.  There was a girl who ruined Michael Jackson's "Rock With You" who had family members sat right in front of us who got very upset when the girl didn't get through.  Actually they walked out.  Which gave us a better view.  It was a mixed bag and entertaining throughout.  If I had the opportunity to go again then I definitely would.  I think I make a rather excellent audience member. 

Little Stalky & Monster Noggin Have a McDonalds Adventure

On Saturday, me, Monster Noggin and some of the gang went to Sydney to participate as audience members for the Australian X Factor.  Now I know you'll want to hear all about that but I think the McDonalds adventure has got to come first.  And with both stories demanding equal amounts of attention I felt it only right that the McDonalds tale get a post all to itself.  More on the X Factor tomorrow.  For now, I shall regale you with the tales of Little Stalky, Monster Noggin and the quest for the cheeseburger (dramatic music, ominous goat, roll credits).  At 11.30 that morning we were ridiculously hungry and knew that we were going to be sitting around for quite some time.  Listening to people sing and what not.  We needed feeding.  And what's more we needed feeding quickly.  Of course McDonalds was the obvious option.  It's cheap, it's convenient and you know what you're going to get.  Lets face it people, McDonalds was going to get the job done.  And we were in Sydney so of course there was going to be a McDonalds close by.  Monster Noggin consulted her phone which advised us that there was a McDonalds a mere few hundred metres away.  Excellent.  We were confident that we could navigate amongst the city dwellers and find ourselves some cheeseburger action.  Yeah!  We'd blend in.  We were - and continue to be - chic, confident and utterly at ease amongst the city folk.  No one need ever know that I have wellingtons that may or may not have walked through cow pats.  So we were nattering away, dodging cars and pedestrians alike, frowning upon weird starey men in cars and thoroughly looking forward to a cheeseburger shaped reward.  When we found the McDonalds we figured we'd already walked off some of the calories that a cheeseburger would inevitably force upon us.  It was a very posh McDonalds.  Possibly the poshest McDonalds in the world.  Ever.  It was like walking into a theatre with the elaborate ceiling thing going on.  It felt regal.  This was the city style McDonalds.  Not a cow in sight.  Not in the traditional sense anyway.  So we strode through that posh McDonalds, we ordered our food and we scoffed like mad.  Partly because we were very hungry and partly because we were conscious of not missing any of the auditions.  Hurrying back with chips and drinks in hand we decided that we were definitely very clever.  Navigating around Sydney.  Blending in.  Locating the McDonalds and then finding our way back to the entertainment centre.  All by ourselves.  I was proud of us.  I was so proud that I was actually congratulating Monster Noggin and myself as we approached the entertainment centre.  Well done us for finding the McDonalds and getting back in time for the auditions.  Well done us for navigating the streets of Sydney.  Well done us for finding that McDonalds which was really only a mere few hundred meters away from us.  If only we'd glanced right when coming out of the entertainment centre rather than marching off to the left.  Then we would have realised there was a McDonalds right next door.  Epic fail.  

Little Stalky Gets Super Powers

I've recently discovered that I have powers.  The power to bring basil back to life?  The power to defeat rogue pigeons and land dwelling sharks?  The power to re crown trolley dude as dude of the trolleys?  No.  I have the power to control the television with the power of blinking.  Confused?  Yes, I am, all the time.  Mystical Roo and I own a somewhat dodgy DVD player.  We had to buy a new one when we arrived here so that we could play Australian DVDS.  Having not invested great amounts in this DVD player it can get a bit fussy sometimes.  If the disc is slightly old or scratched then the DVD player will throw a huge hissy fit and take it out on the film.  Often we find that the film will stop or leap forward or back a chapter.  This can normally be resolved with some grumbling and cleaning of the DVD.  Now I can't do anything about the leaping but I have seem to mastered control over the freezing.  No need for grumbling and cleaning anymore.  Not with magical Stalky and her blinking powers of wonder.  Cue the ominous goat!  The other day the DVD we were watching froze and we both sighed knowingly.  But something came over me and I stopped Mystical Roo from leaping to his feet to do some grumbling and cleaning.  Instead, I focused my attention on the screen and blinked.  And the screen leapt back into life as the DVD carried on its merry way.  All because I had blinked at it.  Now I'm not boasting or anything but I've successfully blinked three times and have solved our freezing issues.  On three separate occasions.  Coincidence?  I think not. 

Little Stalky: Umbrella Master

In recent wet weather I found that I was arguing with myself over whether or not to use my umbrella. I can't say whether or not this is normal behaviour but that's besides the point. My dilemma? Walking home from work rather than to work I'm not actually that fussed about getting wet. It doesn't really matter if I get home and look like a drowned rat. Some might argue that it's fashion forward. Some. So walking home from work is all about purpose. It's about getting home as quickly as possible whilst getting a little exercise on the way. Therefore, with rucksack on back and earphones in place I tend to find using an umbrella somewhat of a hindrance. A bit of light rain wasn't bothering me but my hair was protesting and had started to go all fluffy. I finally whipped out the brolly when I realised I was unable to dodge the heavy drops that were falling from overheard branches. And believe me I did try to dodge them. I tried to dodge them for a while before I realised that a) it wasn't really possible, I'm not that little after all and b) I looked like a fruit loop. The heavy droplets were annoying me more than anything and kept landing on my face. They have good aim and got me in the eye more than once. So out came the brolly. But then I'm out from under the trees, the rain has stopped and now I look like I'm not paying attention to the weather. Using a brolly unnecessarily. Tempting the skies. So I put the brolly away. But literally as soon as I did that there was another downpour. So the brolly came out again. Then it stopped. So the brolly went away again. Then I came up against more branches and their droplets of doom. Out comes the brolly. Then I was back in the open and away from the branches. Brolly goes away. I think I got extra exercise from just putting the brolly away and then getting it back out again. I'd actually started to see how quickly I could do it. And couldn't help wonder whether a brolly could be used as a deadly weapon. I think it could. I was caught off guard when I was on the home straight as a load of sideswiping rain decided to make an appearance. In fact it wasn't sideswiping rain at all but sea spray that was whipping around on a rather over enthusiastic gust of wind. You have to be on guard see because it's not just the rain that will get you. It's the bloody trees and the sea too. I guess I wasn't too happy about getting wet after all, or I wouldn't have gone to so much trouble with the brolly. But one has to perfect her brolly extracting skills. You never know when they might come in handy!