Buying a New Computer: Not as Easy as it Looks!

Mystical Roo and I got a rather nice surprise the other day when were advised that I'd been overpaying tax for a year and would be getting a rebate.  Woo hoo!  You've got to love it when the government are giving you money.  This unexpected windfall has allowed us to treat ourselves and whilst Mystical Roo has his eyes set firmly on a surfboard, I intend to buy myself a new computer.  I have to say this quietly though, in case the laptop is listening in.  It's not that I don't appreciate my laptop, it's just that he's getting on a bit now.  When Word is freezing on you, you know there's a problem.  We've decided that a decent desktop computer will be a good investment as I can work more effectively from home and Mystical Roo can work in the evenings.  The trouble is, I have no clue what I'm looking for in a computer.  I'm desperate to order one, to get my new toy as soon as I can, but I'm hesitating because I'm scared I'm going to make the wrong choice.  If I lack confidence in my decision making then I immediately want someone else to take control and go, Little Stalky, that's the one you want.  Mystical Roo and I probably have similar knowledge when it comes to things like this so we're both a bit stuck.  We have our budget.  We know what we want the computer to do.  We just don't know where to get it.  At this rate I'm just going to end up choosing the one that looks the prettiest.....

Fluffy Booties

Check out my fluffy booty slippers.  How cool are these?!  Don't you think everyone should own a pair?  Because I do.  I put them on today, not because it was cold - it's actually 27 about now - but because I haven't worn them in ages and felt they deserved an outing.  They're very comfy slippers and because they're booties, they don't slip off my feet.  That means I can tear around the house like a lunatic and feel confident that if I do fall over, it won't be because I've slipped out of my slippers.  It's because I'm clumsy and will have run straight into a wall or something.  As you do.  They're also warm and keep my toes nice and snug in the cold Australian winter...ok it doesn't get that cold but I have poor circulation and turn purple in the slightest breeze.  Also, fluffy booty slippers are excellent if you're of a mind to pretend you're a yeti.  Or a polar bear.  Or anything else with large, white, hairy feet.  You can really get into character stomping around in those bad boys.  So, fluffy booty slippers are safe, practical, comfortable, warm, fun and of course very stylish.  These things look good with any outfit.  Jeans, skirts, leggings, evening wear.  You can't go wrong.   Can you imagine the fluffy booty slippers teamed up with the snuggie.  Snugtastic!  Ooh if I put my earmuffs on and a little hat and some gloves, I'd be the warmest Stalky in the land.  Or I could go and sit in the sunshine, but really you've got to protect your skin.  The fluffy booty slipper, snuggie, earmuff, hat, glove combo is much more practical.  Bear Z would argue that white is never practical but I've yet to have a spillage.  And yes, I know I've just jinxed it but I'm proud of the fact that I've owned these fluffy booty slippers for over a year now and haven't wrecked them with wine, beetroot, curry or any other colourful food item.  I think the the message of today's post is clear.  Go forth everyone and buy yourself some fluffy booty slippers!     

Dust?

I don't like dust.  I'm not sure I know anyone who does.  It makes everything dusty.  And it makes me sneeze.  What I can't get my head around is how the dustiest room in the house is always the bathroom.  It makes little sense to me.  I dust the rest of the house on a regular basis, noticing most build up on my wooden surfaces and mirrors but I swear I have to do the bathroom daily.  There's dust on the sink.  Dust on the toilet.  Dust on the bath.  I think if I spent too much time in there then I'd end up being covered in dust too.  Where does the dust come from?  Why does it like hanging out in the bathroom?  When we had the crazy red dust storm from a year or so ago, the majority of the dust that got into the house was in the bathroom.  I'm still finding it now if I'm honest.  And I'm a clean freak!  I think there must be some kind of dust conspiracy going on.  Dust bunnies on the loose.  Dusting up my bathroom just to cause confusion and distress.  I'm sure dust bunnies are cute and all, but really, dusting up my bathroom is going too far.  No one's cute enough to get away with that.  

Running Out of Tea Bags

A shocking thing happened this morning.  I ran out of teabags.  Yes, shocking.  Not only because I had allowed this to happen but because I was unable to have my morning cup of tea.  How had I allowed the teabags to dwindle?  Surely I had noticed that there were only a few left.  Why did I not replace them?  I don't know.  I honestly don't know.  But I paid for it when I went tealess this morning.  I don't know at what stage of life a cup of tea became an essential part of my morning ritual but I seem to rely on it to wake me up.  It's refreshing and goes rather nicely with a bowl of cereal or plate of raisin toast.  I didn't even have any juice in the house this morning.  It was horrendous.  I'm not a big coffee drinker and I certainly don't have it with breakfast so I had to settle for a glass of water.  A glass of water?  It's just not the same.  I set about my daily tasks but I'm pretty sure I wasn't on top form this morning and I'm pretty sure this was because I hadn't had my cup of tea.  Wandering up to the gym to cancel my membership (a success by the way), I was thinking about a cup of tea the whole time.  I returned home via Woolies and was sure to pick up a nice big box of tea bags.  When I got back, the first thing I did was make myself a cup of tea.  In my giant Eeyore mug.  Perfect.  I'm back to normal now.  Well, as normal as I can be.  Who knew I was powered by tea!  

Sensible Shoes are Trying to Kill Me

I think my shoes are trying to kill me.  Death by sore feet!  I'm sure of it.  I like to wear high heels to work because, as impractical as they sometimes are, it boosts my height so that I can look people in the eye.  Without my heels everyone seems to tower over me and I feel small and hobbit like.  I actually made the decision to downgrade my heels, sensibly concluding they were perhaps a little bit too high for work.  But these heels have never caused me pain.  They're pointy, they're high, but they've never caused me pain.  It just seemed like I'd be in less danger of falling down the stairs and sinking in the grass with a slightly more sensible pair.  Only slightly more sensible mind you.  They still have a heel.  So I bought my slightly more sensible pair of shoes at the bargain price of $10.  I tried them on.  They seemed to fit.  The heel was reasonable.  But these heels have had me in agony for the past few days.  They're absolutely horrendous.  And of course you don't realise this in the shop.  You realise this half way through the day when you're carrying around boxes of brochures and realise there's a burning in the balls of your feet and your toes have lost all sensation.  It's a wonder I didn't fall over then and there.  After a mere few hours these shoes have reduced me to a hobbling mess.  I was forced to remove the shoes and wander around barefoot.  Luckily for me, no one can see my feet when I'm serving them, but I was horribly aware of people towering over me.  I felt so small!  And a failure.  I can handle heels.  I have massive heels.  And these sensible shoes had thwarted me.  The shame.  The shame.  I'm still not quite sure what it is about them that that cause me so much pain.  Maybe they just need wearing in.  Stretching out.  Maybe I need to see if Mystical Roo will wear them round the house for a bit.  You can picture it now!  All I know is that my feet are still hurting and I've been home from work for two hours now.  And no I'm not still wearing the shoes.  Perhaps I'm out of practice after having three weeks off of work.  Maybe three weeks worth of flip flop wearing has rendered me weak!  Or perhaps, sensible shoes aren't so sensible.  If I'm ok in my sky scrapers but the sensible shoes hurt my feet then the solution is obvious.  I must return to the high, high heels.  It's the only way. 

Little Stalky Tries to Leave the Gym

I've made the decision to cancel my gym membership.  I've done what I'm sure many others have done in the past.  Joined the gym with good intentions, initially used the gym, gradually got bored of the gym, made excuses not to go to the gym and now have a gym membership that I pay for but don't really use.  This is not a good use of money.  Especially when you're on a budget!  I really enjoyed the yoga classes but, as Mystical Roo pointed out, I'd rather pay for a specific yoga class or, as Monster Noggin pointed out, buy a new yoga DVD once a month, than pay for a whole gym membership.  And there is so much exercise out there that can be done for free.  I walk to work often enough!  And what with all the adventures I have in day to day life, it's not like I don't work up a sweat once in a while.  I was spurred on by the fact that both Monster Noggin and Mystical Roo have cancelled their gym membership.  If they're not going then I'm definitely not going.  But I have a feeling that cancelling my gym membership isn't going to be as easy as I'd hoped.  I made an initial call at work a day or so ago.  Hello, I'd like to cancel my gym membership please.  The man who answered the phone was initially very polite, but as soon as I said those words - cancel my gym membership - I could sense a change in atmosphere.  Maybe I'm just being paranoid.  Maybe not.  But I've seen the Friends episode where they try to quit the gym!  No one wants you to quit the gym!  He muttered something about checking and then put me on hold.  He came back to say no, I couldn't do it over the phone, I had to come in personally to sign a form.  Sign a form?  Why do I have to sign a form to cancel my membership.  Can't I just stop coming and stop paying.  Now I'll have to face actual people who'll give me evils and ask me why I've dared to leave the gym.  The other annoying thing is that I won't be able to get up there until Monday at least.  My shifts at work don't allow me to get home in time to get to the gym (another reason for cancelling) and I don't have a car to drive myself up there in my lunch break.  So now I have to wait for my day off to trudge all the way up to the gym to cancel the stupid gym membership.  And I bet I get charged for these days in between.  These days where I can't get to the gym.  I told Monster Noggin and Mystical Roo about my plight and they informed me that all they'd done was send an email.  Send an email!  Why I can't I just send an email?  Why do I have to make a personal appearance?  All of this has put me in a thoroughly bad mood - watch out for rain clouds!  At least, when I finally do get up to the gym to cancel the stupid gym membership, I'll be in the frame of mind not to get walked over by anyone.  I will be cancelling my gym membership and if you try to argue with me there'll be hell to pay.  We'll see how it goes.  

Home Drying the Chillies: Where Did I go Wrong?!

I made another batch of chilli the other day and decided I might try using some of my dried chillies.  It did not go to plan.  The chillies seemed to be drying quite nicely so I selected some of the older ones and put them on the chopping board.  My plan was to use my trusty chopper and mush them up into flakes.  The trouble was, when I chopped into the first one it looked a bit furry inside.  I wasn't sure if that was normal or not.  I had - and continue to have - no idea what I was looking for.  The second one was actually a bit black at the top.  It might just be me but black and furry don't sound that appetising.  I wanted to use my chillies but I didn't want to ruin the chilli.  We were hungry and I was damned if I was starting it all from scratch.  So I went for the chilli flakes from Woolworths and whilst the chilli was cooking I decided to experiment with my chillies.  Following this?  Lots of chilli action going on.  I chopped up my chillies as I'd originally intended and was pleased to see that it looked practically identical to the chilli flakes that i had just used in the chilli.  Pleased, but not convinced that they were good.  I tried to get Mystical Roo to do a taste test but he declined.  So I taste tested them myself.  This was a couple of days ago now and I'm still here so at least I know they haven't poisoned me.  The only trouble was, they didn't appear to taste of anything.  There was no spice.  No nothing.  I was very disappointed and had to wonder what I'd done wrong.  I try not to get too down about these experiences as it's a learning curve for me.  I've only just started gardening.  I've only just started drying things.  But it seemed to me that if they've lost their flavour, then they're a bit pointless.  Although they do look pretty funky hanging from the wall.  Now I'd like to ask my fellow gardeners, my fellow foodies, my fellow spice lovers:  where did I go wrong?  Did I not leave them long enough?  Did I leave them too long?  This is a Little Stalky SOS.  I have a new crop of chillies growing as we speak and I want to make sure I don't make the same mistake twice.  Help!

Poking Holes in Buckets

When the sun finally decided to make an appearance, I in turn decided to do some repotting out on the balcony.  I could see the mint trying to escape his tiny pot and the strawberry feeler had put out not one, but two new plants and had roots that needed a home.  Alas the lemon tree has yet to be rehomed.  I attempted it once, twice and then decided it was a fool's mission. Not something a Little Stalky could do on her own without the assistance of Mystical Roo.  The lemon tree is quite heavy now and I didn't want to risk hurting him or me or anything else in the vicinity.  So, I found two little pots for my strawberry feeler to get comfy in.  He seemed happy enough.  I moved the mint into a temporary pot; big enough to give him some space but temporary because he's going to be snaffling the lemon tree's pot.  Once the lemon tree has been moved into it's new home.  It's a complicated life out on the balcony.  Running out of plant pots - as you do - Mystical Roo had brought me home some buckets form work.  Buckets?  Yes, buckets.  He has a lot of buckets.  So I had two 10l buckets in which to plant the oregano and the basil.  Excellent, except for the fact that neither bucket had any drainage holes.  So I figured I'd make some drainage holes.  How hard could it be?  Normally this is the kind of thing I would delegate to Mystical Roo.  Him being bigger, stronger and generally better at stuff than me.  But in Mystical Roo's absence I had to figure it out for myself.  So, screwdriver.  That ought to do the trick.  Poke a few holes.  Voila.  Not as easy as it might sound.  Plastic can be a tricky beast.  My first attempt at making a drainage hole was to stab at the bottom of the bucket with all my might.  Sort of effective except for the fact that I kept hitting different parts of the bucket with each downward jab.  Not easy to hit the same spot twice.  Not easy at all.  I figured I needed a hammer or a mallet or something.  Hold the screwdriver in place and then bash my way to a drainage hole.  But we don't have a hammer and we don't have a mallet.  So I needed something heavy.  Something I could use to bash with.  My eyes came to rest on the candle that was for some reason living outside.  The candle was in a kind of pot.  A heavy kind of pot.  So, I removed the candle, poured away the water that had collected underneath the candle and then set about bashing the screwdriver into the bucket.  Again, not the best idea.  The pot wasn't heavy nor sturdy enough to do the job.  Basically it didn't cut it.  I then went back to jabbing the bucket, with much the same results as before.  Then - and I don't know how I came to this - I decided to just hold the screwdriver in place and lean all of my weight onto it.  Success!  That's the way to do it.  It look a lot of effort but I managed to create four neat little drainage holes.  The basil and oregano were then planted in their respective buckets.  You can see from the attached photo that the balcony is now looking rather busy.  I've got green pots, black pots, red pots, white pots and now white buckets.  It's a hive of activity.  You can also see that I've made a nice mess with my potting mix.  I'm not a very tidy gardener.  Now all I've got to do is a) purchase some gardening gloves or b) cut my fingernails.  Long fingernails are a pain in the ass to clean when you've been scrambling around in the dirt.  Worth it though.  I'm so proud of my little garden.  

A Stinky Situation

Yesterday I served a smelly person.  Now I've got nothing against smelly people - my nose would disagree - but it's always an awkward situation when a person's BO starts to clog up the atmosphere.  The smelly person had very bad BO.  So bad in fact that I had to breathe through my mouth rather than my nose and hope that I didn't sound weird.  I'm pretty sure the plants were drooping.  If we'd been in a cartoon there would have been green waves of smell radiating from the smelly persons person.  It was rather unpleasant.  And I don't think I was the only one suffering.  The clue being that when refreshing lavender scents hit my nose, I realised one of the other girls had gone around with the air freshener.  She wasn't being rude; she didn't realise what the smell was.  It was a welcome scent.  When the guest had gone and the office was empty the others remarked on the horrid smell and I filled them in on the smelly person.  I had to wonder whether the smelly person knew they were smelly.  Surely if you knew that you smelt like that you would have gone to some effort to rectify the situation.  Deodorant for example.  Or a couple of car deodorisers cunningly disguised as earrings.  Maybe you'd hire a skunk to follow you around so that you could redirect the blame in it's direction.  I don't know.  Maybe the smelly person was fully aware of the smell and either liked the smell, didn't care about the smell or was purposefully inflicting the smell on others out of spite.  That's pretty evil.  If I ever smelt, or rather if I do smell, if I'm smelling right now, I'd want someone to tell me.  You wouldn't have to shout it out or anything.  Maybe just a nudge.  Oh, Little Stalky, you're a bit ripe.  Something along those lines.  I'd hate to think I was stinking up the place.  The same goes for bad breath, lipstick on the teeth, rogue bogey and toilet paper stuck to the shoe.  I'd rather know about these things so I could do something about them.  Take action.  Accept a minor embarrassment in place of a major embarrassment.  Honesty is the way forward.  Though I suppose I can hardly advise a guest that they smell bad.  I guess we just have to put up with that kind of thing and be sure to have plenty of air freshener to hand.  Or pegs. 

The Flood



Floods at the Holiday Park



Well, after the declogging of the drain yesterday I then went to work and had the most surreal day ever.  We had six weeks worth of rain in one day and as a result there was horrendous flooding throughout the area.  One of the scariest things was how quickly the water came up.  One minute we were commenting on how heavy it was raining, the next the sinks exploding with water, tents are being washed away and caravans are coming hurtling up the road to escape the torrents.  It was shocking and very unnerving.  I've never seen anything like it.  It came up so fast that we didn't have time to get cars out, we didn't have time to warn anyone.  It just happened.  Then there were caravans rolling backwards down the hill and just chaos.  I managed to get through to Mystical Roo who had been trapped at the warehouse with Ammy and Treacle.  The water was too deep to get the cars in and the three of them had to wade out to safety.  Mystical Roo lost his flip flops!  They all got to safety but couldn't get home for several hours as the roads were flooded and blocked.  I got home just after lunch but many of the roads back from work were flooded.  I ran back to the flat to check the balcony; images of water rushing through into the lounge nagging at my brain.  Luckily the water hadn't come through but was mere millimeters away.  I cleared the drain and was told by work to stay home.  I went and sat with Grandma until the others returned.  It was a relief to know they were all safe but all we wanted was for them to walk through the door.  The thing is, this flood was nothing compared to what happened in Queensland.  It's hard to imagine the horror they experienced.  The flood water has now receded but I think we were all left a little shaken.  That's the first time I've experienced anything like it and there's danger everywhere.  I'm just thankful that we're all safe and relatively little damage has been done.   

Tomato Down!

What's the first thing you like to do when you get up in the morning?  Brush your teeth?  Have some breakfast?  Pester your Mystical Roo for a cup of tea?  Don your leopard print wellingtons, grab yourself a broom and head outside - in your nightie - to clear the drain that has blocked once again?  Not my first choice of activity but necessary if one wants to save their beloved plants.  Deja-vu?  Too many bloody questions?  Yes.  The balcony has flooded again.  Damn my weather controlling ways!  Damn them!!!  The plants didn't seem too concerned but I had noticed the loss of several tomatoes overnight.  It was a sad sight to seem them floating about in the flood water like little red...things.  I think I lost about four in total.  Four whole tomatoes.  I can only assume that during the storm last night they were snatched from the plant and cruelly thrown into the water.  The horror.  Either that or we've got a case of night time land dwelling shark activity.  Unlikely though as I hear they're not fond of wet weather.  They are land dwelling after all.  I have offered the lost tomatoes to the Johns in the tree outside, hoping that something good can come of this.  Lets just hope the Johns don't get a taste for tomatoes and come looking for more.  Perhaps I didn't think this through.  On a brighter note, the mint is already growing like a monster.  I can see he is going to need repotting in the very near future.  I think I might team him up with the lemon tree in the battle against next door's bamboo.  A cunning plan.  

Little Stalky: Queen of the Clouds

After recently confirming that I can predict a storm with my headaches I've now started to wonder if I can actually influence the weather with my moods.  Could this actually be possible?  Does Little Stalky really have this kind of power?  Well, lets look at the facts.  Roughly three weeks ago I was super excited that El Kenco would be making her first visit to Australia.  On the day of her arrival the skies were blue, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and the land dwelling sharks were getting their groove on.  I'm not saying I can influence the animals but I guess the weather can in turn influence them.  They were happy.  I was happy.  We were all happy.  Then, three weeks on, the inevitable happens and El Kenco has to return back to England.  Much sadness.  Little Stalky is not happy.  El Kenco is not happy.  So since the day we drove El Kenco to the airport it's been grey and raining.  Grey and raining!  The weather has been as dark as my mood.  I went to bed last night feeling rather low as I was missing El Kenco and also battling with the other inevitable event: heading back to work.  Double whammy.  And all night it absolutely poured with rain.  It was hammering down and was so loud that it woke me up a number of times.  Then I couldn't get back to sleep as I was imagining the balcony flooding again - even though it had been ok all day - and my babies drifting away in an over sized puddle!  Stressful.  This morning I'm trying to get back into routine, setting my alarm, making my sandwiches, but I think it's going to be a long day ahead.  And so the clouds are churning outside, looking dark and menacing, threatening another downpour.  So it seems to me that I do have influence over the weather.  And if this is in fact the case, then I need to cheer up before people start lynching me over the rain.

New Additions to the Garden



Was going to post a photo of the pot with the
lemon tree but due to rain, we've been rained
off.  Bloody rain.

 I was very spoilt on my recent birthday and was showered with the most lovely gifts.  Amongst my lovely gifts were new additions for the balcony.  Oh the excitement of it all.  So the latest newcomers joining Little Stalky's family of plants are...Mint, Basil and Oregano.  Yay!  Imagine much squealing and bouncing and then more squealing and you get a rough idea of the excitement.  Not only that but Monster Noggin bought me the amazing plant pot that I've been eyeing up for the past few months.  It's so beautiful.  It reminds me of an old fashioned barrel, chopped in half.  The lemon tree is going to be rehoused in the new pot.  Man that lemon tree will look so stylish.  Then, with my experience of mint being that it grows rather enthusiastically, the mint will be potted in the lemon tree's previous house.  Then I run out of pots.  Mystical Roo has kindly brought me home two buckets from work, which I will use for the potting of the basil and the oregano.  I think I'm going to need two more pots on top of that though as the strawberry's feeler now has two separate plants growing on it, both of which have put out roots.  My God, it's all go on the balcony at the moment.  I'm not sure I can keep up!  

Sad Stalky

Today is the day I've not been looking forward to.  The day that El Kenco and Biltong Boy return to England.  It's a difficult thing and saying goodbye is always very hard to do.  But as Monster Noggin says, it's not so much goodbye as see you soon and if you keep that in mind it makes things a little easier.  Still, I always hate this part and am bound to get all emotional later on today.  I'll have to try my best not to make El Kenco cry because she's allergic to her own tears.  No, I'm not joking.  But we've had a nice day together, even if the weather has decided to put on a bad show.  Naughty weather, bad!  We've been organising the last few photos for our scrap book, enjoying coffee in our favourite cafe, enjoying booze in our favourite bar and have just returned from a nice long lunch at the Seabreeze restaurant.  We've really enjoyed these last three weeks and have had more new and crazy adventures.  Hopefully El Kenco hasn't been too scared off by the spiders and will plan a return trip in the not too distant future. 

El Kenco Feeds the Birds

El Kenco has been getting in touch with her inner Mary Poppins today, her inner Snow White, and has been feeding the birds.  This started first thing this morning when this monster bird landed on the balcony and appeared to be eyeing up my tomatoes.  El Kenco's solution for deterring the bird?  Feed it some cereal.  Or some Special K to be precise.  My God, that bird did not need any more food.  It was huge.  It was massive.  It was an obese bird.  It should have been wearing a bird moomoo.  It was so plump that it looked like it was about to pop.  It appeared to be having trouble moving.  It was waddling.  I wasn't sure it could fly.  I'm not sure that bird would have made it down to the tomatoes even if it had wanted to.  It didn't seem that interested in the Special K.  By the size of the thing I would say it lives on a diet of cheeseburgers and chocolate.  And possibly other birds.  And land dwelling sharks.  Massive!  After being shunned by the obese bird El Kenco was wooed by the pigeon with the quiff.  A pigeon she promptly dubbed Jedward.  Having been out of England for a few years now, I'd vaguely heard of Jedward but wasn't really sure who - or what - they were.  El Kenco explained that they have weird hair, which was why the pigeon was called Jedward.  El Kenco was determined to feed Jedward the remains of our lunchtime pie and was happily throwing scraps onto the grass.  She was most perturbed by the arrival of some pushy seagulls.  Bullies!  El Kenco set about removing the seagulls by chasing them off and let Jedward eat in peace.  The pigeon with the quiff seemed quite content to sit by our feet, nibbling pieces of pie, whilst El Kenco put the seagulls in their place.  She was disappointed when the pigeon with the quiff decided he was full and flew off into a nearby tree.  She's still looking out the window wondering if Jedward will return.

Happy Birthday Little Stalky

Yes, it's a very special today.  It's Little Stalky's birthday!  And today I shall be turning 26.  A fact that El Kenco likes to taunt me with as she's a whole 18 months younger than me.  Bah!  This year I have El Kenco to keep me company for the day, which I'm really pleased about.  We have plans of going clothes shopping, returning for lunch and drinks at the Blue Diamond cocktail bar before heading off to the Hungry Duck for a birthday dinner.  It's set to be a damned good day.  I'm going to ask the plants if they'll sing happy birthday to me.  You know.  Just as a treat.  We'll see how that goes.  So, 26 years old feels a bit surreal.  I know it's not old - though El Kenco would beg to differ - but it feels like it's come round really fast.  It didn't feel like that long ago that I was turning 18.  My how time flies.  But I feel happy with my achievements and with where I am in my life.  I've had my adventures, battled gremlins and am lucky to have the most amazing family ever, both this side of the world and the other.  No doubt El Kenco and I will be raising a glass of margarita at some point today.  So cheers everybody. 

Caterpillar Attack No. 3

I forgot to mention the other day that those bloody horned caterpillars were back for a third serving of lemon tree.  Evil horned caterpillars of doom.  This was just before we set off for our camping trip.  It was like they knew I was going to be away.  They knew that the babies were going to be unobserved.  They thought they'd be safe from my secateurs.  Oh how wrong they were.  I spotted the nasty little blighters whilst I was out with the watering can and swiftly set about removing them from the lemon tree.  My God those caterpillars can hold on tightly.  They must have really strong legs or something.  Or super glue.  I don't know.  They were attacked with a stick before being unceremoniously dumped over the side of the balcony.  Yuck.  The lemon tree was then give a thorough spray with that new stuff beginning with P.  I'm pleased to report that three days (or so) on there have been no more caterpillar sightings and the lemon tree's leaves remain unmunched.  Thank God.  Also, the aphid activity has pretty much disappeared from the chilli plant and the strawberry plant has been rescued from it's army of ants.  It seems that this stuff beginning with P really does the trick!  

Joggers in Sydney: They're Freakin' Everywhere!

Today we took El Kenco and Biltong Boy on the compulsory trip to Sydney to see the sights.  It was a bit of an overcast day but that's not necessarily a bad thing when wandering around the city.  We parked up near Darling Harbour, took a water taxi over to Circular Quay and saw the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge.  Then we decided to take a walk through the Botanical Gardens before lunch.  We saw many of the notorious bum pinching birds!  Luckily there was no bum pinching today.  But I kept my eye on them.  I know their game.  Anyway, it turned out not to be the bum pinching birds that were the problem today but the ridiculous number of joggers.  There were joggers everywhere.  Absolutely everywhere!  Running this way, that way, on the pavement, over the grass.  Everywhere we looked there were joggers.  Fit joggers, less fit joggers, sweaty joggers, I'm-running-but-I'm-gossiping joggers, hardcore joggers, comedy arm joggers, panting joggers, dribbling joggers.  Joggers.  Freaking everywhere.  We couldn't get away from them.  They were dodging around us at every turn.  A couple of them even chose to let out a loud breath right next to me, causing me to jump in alarm.  Heavy breathing in my ear is never cool dude.  Never cool.  We started to feel out of place because we weren't jogging.  Walking was awkward but when we sat down we got given evils.  The joggers did not approve of our presence.  Damned tourists on their jogging route.  What I wanted to know was why, on a Monday morning, were all of these people not at work?  Maybe it was the official jogging hour or something.  All I know is that trying to get across from one side of the path to the other was like crossing a busy motorway.  I nearly got taken out by a jogger and Biltong Boy got left behind.  Trapped by a sea of joggers.  The insanity of it all.  It was exhausting just watching the buggers.  I'm all for being fit and healthy (well, mostly) but I think I'll stick to the yoga.  

Possum Sneak Attack

Well, we've returned from our camping trip, unscathed and with El Kenco still relatively sane.  We had an excellent weekend with Australia truly on top form, providing us with beautiful sunshine and an array of wildlife.  We arrived at Pretty Beach camping grounds in the afternoon and were met by a horde of kangaroos.  They were incredible and just everywhere.  Even in people's gardens!  We had to stop a couple of times to let them cross the road.  It was just amazing to see.  We set up our tent and promptly went in search of firewood so that we could have a campfire and heat up our curry.  Excellent fun.  The curry was a huge success and with darkness quickly approaching we settled outside of our tent with beer and snacks.  Then came the rustling.  The rustling?  Yes, the rustling.  Up in the trees the branches were shaking, the leaves rustling as something descended towards the camp.  Not a kangaroo.  Kangaroos don't climb.  Not a bird.  Too big to be a bird.  A tree dwelling shark?  Unlikely.  No.  It turned out to be a possum.  An actual real life possum.  I've never seen a possum in the wild before and was fascinated to watch this creature sneaking it's way down the tree and towards the camp.  Adorable creatures!  So cute.  Admittedly some people see them as pests, but with a face like that I would have let the possum get away with anything.  He shuffled his way down the tree, pausing every time we made eye contact before perching on the fence.  Mystical Roo approached, wondering what the possum would do next.  The possum stared him out and Mystical Roo returned to his chair.  Then, the next thing we know, the possum is making a break for it and heading towards the tent!  Hardcore possum.  He wasn't scared of us.  He knew his cuteness had us distracted.  And in the meantime he was headed for the food.  Ahhhhhhh!  When he realised he couldn't get into the tent the possum moved on into the camp.  Then, about five minutes later there was more rustling.  More rustling?  Yes!  And a second possum.  It took exactly the same route as the first.  Down the tree, on the fence, over the fence and towards the tent.  We established that if you shine a torch in their direction they freeze.  So we've seen the possum in the tree, hanging upside down from the tree by his tail, hanging over the fence by it's paws, hanging upside down from the fence by it's paws.  Hugely entertaining.  That night we retired to our respective sleeping bags, ready for a night's sleep.  But whilst we were ready for bed, the animals were just waking up.  Truly the night belongs to the Australian wildlife and they were having a whale of a time outside of the tent.  The possums and the kangaroos were out in force and we could hear them scurrying around outside of the tent, trying to find a way in and generally making a hell of a racket.  At one point I'm pretty sure there was a fight between a possum and a kangaroo with much grunting and screeching.  I'm not sure who won but it was a hell of a fight.  El Kenco admitted to needing the loo in the night but she was too scared to leave the tent.  The night belongs to the animals and she wasn't sure what she would find if she stepped outside.  A possum conga line.  Who knows.  When the possums and kangaroos moved on at dawn the birds awoke and started to sing to the sun.  Who needs an alarm clock when you've got kookaburras.  But it was fantastic.  Camping in the Australian bush with the weather at it's best and the animals roaming freely.  We'll definitely be back.

 

Mystical Roo and Biltong Boy go Surfing

Ok, I'll admit it.  I wrote this one in advance.  But I knew I was going to be parted from my laptop on Saturday so thought I'd try and be organised.  My laptop, bless it's little cotton socks, cannot cope without being plugged in, leaving my battery to splutter along for about ten minutes before failing totally.  Needless to say, I can't take my laptop anywhere where it can't be plugged in.  And as I've booked us an unpowered site for the weekend, I don't think it's going to get much juice.  But then, when out camping, you don't really want to be lugging around all your technology.  You want to get back to nature.  Be at one with the kangaroos!  And what not.  But anyway, as you read this we will either be on our way to, having, or finished surf lessons.  When I say we, I refer solely to Mystical Roo and Biltong Boy.  Wimps that we are, El Kenco and I have resigned ourselves to sitting on the beach and watching.  I like the idea of being able to surf but I'm not a strong swimmer and the idea of getting tumbled under a huge wave does not appeal.  Mystical Roo and Biltong boy are both very excited about learning to surf and so I've booked them a two hour session at a beach in South Durras.  The surfing dude who I booked it with promised me it was a fifteen minute drive from our camp.  Google maps tells me it's more like forty minutes from the camp.  Who to believe?  The surfer dude or Google maps.  Monster Noggin assures me that in surfer dude land that fifteen minutes is certainly more like an hour.  Google maps it is then.  Though it could have been my ears letting me down again.  Maybe the surfer dude said fifty minutes and I heard fifteen minutes.  Either way I've informed the troops that we shall be departing camp at 09.00 and if we're there early then oh well, there are worse things than having to sit on the beach waiting for a surfer dude.  El Kenco and I will be armed with cameras, ready to watch them do their thing.  I'll be able to report back about this and the rest of the camping trip on my return.  We should be back at some point on Sunday.  As long as we don't get taken captive by a horde of kangaroos...

Little Stalky and Co. Go Camping



Pretty Beach - I can see the kangaroos already!



Today is the day of the camping trip!  Two nights in the Murramarang National Park where I've been told we can expect to see an abundance of Eastern Grey Kangaroos, swamp wallabies (what the?), brushtail possums and a variety of birds.  I've selected Pretty Beach as our destination, which is about two hours South of where we're currently based.  I've no idea what it will be like but with a name like Pretty Beach, surely it's got to be, well, pretty.  The pictures indicate it has views of the beach and also, providing the weather is right, the opportunity to have little campfires.  How cool!  We'd originally hoped to camp at Pebbly Beach, which is renowned for it's sightings of wild kangaroos, but when I phoned them they said I couldn't book and it was a case of first come, first served.  I didn't like the idea of turning up, only to be told that there was no room.  I have to be a bit more organised than that.  El Kenco was pleased to discover that our newly selected camping ground will actually have hot showers.  So we've got our tent, sleeping bags and camping chairs.  Mystical Roo has cooked and frozen a curry ready for tonight.  We've got bacon and eggs ready for the morning.  We've got beer and cards for the evening.  Now as long as somone's packed the mallet, we should be fine!

Magical Woolworths Bags and Why You Shouldn't Use Your Brother-In-Law as a Donkey

Whilst showing El Kenco and Biltong Boy the wonders of Australia, I did of course have to show them the wonders of Woolworths.  They couldn't travel half way round the world and not see the wonders of Woolworths.  Especially my Woolworths.  So, in the absence of Mystical Roo (yes, he's working again), and a car, the three of us took a wander up to Woolworths.  Trolley dude was there and everything!  I was thrilled and made sure to point out trolley dude.  The lady who served us today was actually very nice and polite, which was a total shock to the system.  Also, the fresh food people song was not playing, which I think caused some disappointment.  But still.  We did our shop, loaded up the conveyor belt - which I've always wanted to take a ride on - and then realised we didn't have a car.  Oh bugger.  Yes, we'd loaded up the trolley with loads of treats.  Cans of ginger beer.  Bottles of coke.  Bottles of milk.  Basically a lot of heavy stuff.  Fear not!  I announced that we would be fine.  After all there were three of us.  I may have suggested using Biltong Boy as a kind of donkey but have since revoked this comment.  Anyway, we managed to get all of our shopping home with relative ease.  El Kenco took some of the lighter bags and Biltong Boy and I shared the weight of the bottles by each taking one handle of the specially bought, Woolworths own, carrier bag.  Tidy!  And very handy.  We also established this is an excellent way to get people to move out of your path.  No one's going to question two people and their magic Woolworths bag.  Ha ha!  We did get a number of looks whilst walking back through the town but I thought we were being rather resourceful.  Not everyone has constant access to a car you know.  And in the absence of a car one has to make alternative arrangements!  And if you can't use your brother-in-law as a donkey then you just have to create a chain of people carrying magical Woolworths bags.  And that is all I have to say on the matter.

Preparing for the Camping Trip

I think we've finally persuaded El Kenco that she does indeed want to come camping with us.  She was nervous about spiders and snakes and other such beasties but I've reassured her with tales of an everything proof tent.  Yes, nothing is getting in through the tent.  It will be fine.  I've also lured her with the promise of beautiful beaches and wild kangaroos.  Very Australian.  I did, however, have to break the news that there would be cold showers...It will be fun to see El Kenco on a camping trip.  This is the girl who takes several hours getting ready in the morning, washing her hair before going in the sea and putting on make up to hit the beach.  She's assured me that she'll find a way, even if she is hunkered over a puddle just to use it as a mirror.  It could be an interesting trip!

Little Stalky's Plants and the Things That Eat Them

Adding to the war between Little Stalky's plants and the things that eat them is what appears to be a kind of green fly.  Or aphid.  Same difference?  I have no idea.  All I know is that a whole fleet of them have taken up residence on the chilli plant.  So, that's caterpillars of doom munching on the lemon tree, an army of ants invading the strawberry plant and now a fleet of aphids on the chilli plant.  So not impressed!  What, do these bugs not like herbs!  Not that I want anything attacking my herbs, but honestly!  I was most distressed by this latest assault and knew I had to retaliate.  As self appointed leader of the plant squad, I was required to concoct a plan.  I think I've scared off the caterpillars but the ant baits have yet to have had an effect on the evil army of ants.  So I took my Stalky self off to our local DIY store and went in search of a solution.  I came back with a spray that promised to tackle various insects including ants, aphids and caterpillars.  I cannot remember what this spray is called but it begins with P and uses natural ingredients to keep pests at bay.  So I rushed back to the balcony to offer a solution for my babies.  They've now been sprayed, offered words of reassurance and left to see if we can thwart the latest attack.  On inspection I've noticed that the ant activity has pretty much ceased and my strawberry plant is once again happy.  The aphids still seem to be stuck to my chilli plant but they've gone all still and stiff.  I suspect I now have dead aphids stuck to the chilli plant.  I've now got to spray on a weekly basis until bug activity stops.  So the war continues.  Maybe this time I'll have the last laugh.

Little Stalky Goes to Jamberoo

Today we've been up to Jamberoo action park, the biggest park in NSW, the only park in NSW, the water park.  And we cunningly selected a midweek day, outside of school holidays and when it was overcast to avoid the queues and have the rides all to ourselves.  Ok, we were hoping for seriously hot weather but what can you do.  It was amazingly quiet though and we didn't have to queue for a single thing.  It was like we had the run of the park, picking and choosing our rides without having to wait.  And I'm impatient so I was very happy.  We went on Surf Hill, which is one of those slides where you go down head first on mats.  It's also a race so appealed to my competitive side.  Unfortunately, being a Little Stalky does not make for a speedy ride.  In fact, being a Little Stalky normally means you're a whole hump behind everyone else unless you cheat and sneak off before the lights show green.  Even when cheating I only stay ahead for a few seconds.  The heavier you are, the faster you go.  I might have lost, constantly, but it's still my favourite ride.  We forced El Kenco to jump off The Rock.  Mystical Roo, Biltong Boy and I had already leapt into the water but El Kenco kept wimping out!  And she's meant to be the brave one.  We were all egging her on from below, telling her it was fine, that it wasn't scary, that her bikini would stay on, that the small child who'd just resurfaced wasn't balling her eyes out.  Finally she took the plunge but I don't think she thanked us for it.  So, El Kenco doesn't do jumping off of rocks but she does go on the biggest, scariest ride, in the world.  Ever.  The Taipan.  I refused to go on this ride, despite much cajoling from the others.  I went on it once before and swore I would never do it again.  I should have listened to the signs.  Extreme thrill ride.  Do not go on if you're pregnant, have  high blood pressure, have heart issues, are of a nervous disposition, are physically or intellectually challenged (what the?), etc. etc.  But Mystical Roo assured me it was great fun.  Not scary at all.  Monster Noggin had remarked that it was slow.  These are the same people who forced me to go on the dreaded Air roller coaster at Alton Towers so God knows why I trusted them again.  I literally went foetal on that ride.  I had my head in Mystical Roo's lap and my feet in the lap of some poor soul and I screamed all the way down.  It was awful.  So today, as much as everyone persuaded me I wanted to hop in the rubber ring and enjoy the Taipan, I simply refused.  El Kenco even tried to lure me with the promise of a warm breeze.  A warm breeze?  I was happy to wait for them at the end and listen to El Kenco's screams as they descended.  We bobbed along the river rapids, entertaining ourselves with comical poses and avoiding - unsuccessfully I might add - Mystical Roo who was intent on directing my rubber ring into the path of jets of water, waterfalls and other such wet things.  After a day in the water we dried off and decided to try out the go-karts.  We hadn't bothered last time as the queue was silly, but today there was no one there, so we figured, why not.  These go-karts were the most rickety and juddery things in the world, but I took the lead and held it until the race was cut short.  Cut short because of some dingbat (a word we should all use more often) who decided to drive his go-kart across the grass in an attempt at some sort of tom foolery.  Stupid man.  He nearly crashed into El Kenco, who I can tell you would not have been happy.  She's feisty!  The attendant called off the race and we all had to leave.  All because of some dingbat.  I like to think I won though.  It was a good day and everyone seemed to have fun.  I think we're all exhausted though.  As I write this I've got Mystical Roo asleep next to me - with his feet on the laptop - , El Kenco asleep on the other sofa and Biltong Boy, somewhere, also asleep.  I feel a bit left out.  Maybe I should have a nap too.  Nap and then dinner.  Sounds good to me!

Little Stalky's Pestle and Mortar



Which is the pestle and which is the
mortar?

 We popped into the dreaded shopping centre earlier on today, to print some photos for our scrapbook.  Whilst Mystical Roo and I were arguing with a computer, El Kenco and Biltong Boy slipped off unoticed.  When they returned I noticed that El Kenco was holding a bag.  It was a gift.  A gift?  For Little Stalky and Mystical Roo.  For Little Stalky and Mystical Roo!  How delightful.  But what could it be.  We got back to the car and I revealed the gift to be a granite pestle and mortar.  I was over the moon.  I've been coveting a pestle and mortar for as long as I can remember and El Kenco had obviously picked up on this.  I've attached a photograph of my wonderful new pestle and mortar. It's wonderfully heavy and really looks the part.  I've been grinding fennel seeds just because I can.  In fact, I can't stop grinding fennel seeds.  We have no need for fennel seeds at the moment, won't be using them in any recipes, but honesly I don't care.  I was just so happy that I could grind, regardless of any need to grind.  Previously, when I've needed a pestle and mortar, I've used a wooden spoon in a bowl.  It just doesn't cut it.  It takes ages and there's the added risk of getting a fennel seed in the eye.  The pestle and mortar does the job in seconds.  It's straight down to business and there's no flying seeds!  Not one.  It's perfect.  It will be given pride of place on the kitchen counter because I don't just want to use it, I want to flaunt it!  Now if someone can just tell me which bit is the pestle and which bit is the mortar then I'll be really happy.

Little Stalky Gets Car Sick

With Mystical Roo back from Brisbane we decided to take El Kenco and Biltong Boy on a drive to see some nearby waterfalls.  An excellent idea.  Except for one problem.  The dreaded road known as Jamberoo Mountain Road.  It's steep, it's bendy, it's narrow and if you're in a caravan then you're in serious trouble.  So caravans and such had better beware.  And if you're a Little Stalky prone to car sickness then you'd better brace yourself.  I've been up and down that road before and suffered as much.  This time I tried to prepare myself.  I sat in the front.  I made sure I wasn't hungry (an empty stomach never seems to help.)  I had my little sea bands on.  I had water.  I had the window open.  But still, by the time we'd reached the top and pulled over at a look out point I was curled up in a whimpering little ball, shaking and wondering if I would have to be sick out the window.  Car sickness is one of the most horrible feelings and as I the older the get the worse I seem to suffer.  Is there such a thing as age related car sickness?  Honestly!  Everyone else was fine and I was just a mess.  My head was dizzy, my stomach was flip flopping and I just wanted to make it all go away.  Horrid.  But worth it when we got to see the waterfalls, which were magnificent.  On the return trip we decided it would be best if I drove back as this somehow seems to thwart the carsickness.  Indeed it did and I was happily winding my way down Jamberoo Mountain Road without a care in the world.  I'm not sure how happy the others were though...

Random Sunburn

I do try my best to look after my skin in the sun.  You have to be careful for health reasons and honestly, no one likes the leather look.  I prefer the snowman look - slathered in so much suntan lotion you can't tell if it's a girl or perhaps some giant albino rabbit...I must say I don't much resemble a rabbit.  Not really.  Anyway, after spending the day on the beach yesterday with El Kenco and Biltong Boy I managed to get myself a most random patch of sunburn on my thigh.  And it was really sore!  I haven't burnt myself in a long time so I'm not really sure what went wrong yesterday.  I'm fairly sure I didn't miss a patch - what with the slathering and all.  I can only think that I must have been sat in one position far too long and had the sun focus it's fury on that one patch of my skin.  I was not amused and have been complaining about it ever since.  I put on some after sun and awaited the pain of the next morning.  But oddly, the pain never came.  In fact, I woke up this morning and the red had pretty much gone brown and it was like the burning had never occurred.  Even more random!  I wasn't complaining though.  Pain gone = good.  Bright red skin gone = good.  Now I'm even more cautious and have been layering it on really thick today.  The suntan lotion that is.  I'm pretty sure I now have a second skin of sunscreen.  No wonder I slid right off my body board.

Pelicans are Massive

One of the things that still amaze me about living here is seeing the pelicans that live by the harbour.  They're such beautiful birds and spectacular to watch.  They're also massive!  I remember seeing one in a wildlife park in England and it seemed very offended every time I got close.  I would walk over to have a look and it would just flap it's wings at me and snap it's beak.  Mystical Roo would do the same and generated no reaction.  Mystical Roo is obviously at one with the birds.  I was therefore a little nervous when seeing the pelicans out in the wild but am pleased to report that so far there have been no incidents.  Today, when I took a walk around the harbour with El Kenco and Biltong Boy, we saw the pelicans in their normal spot near the boat ramp.  There were a few seagulls out trying to get attention but as usual the pelicans were in control.  They're the silent strong types, but quite obviously the dominant bird.  We watched them for a while as they sat and stretched and looked effortlessly cool.  And I kept thinking that pelicans are really massive.  I mean, really, really massive.  I'm pretty sure I could hitch a lift on the back of one.  Not that I would ever try.  After that we wandered off in search of Sting, who remains as elusive as ever.  If I find him, I shall photograph him and post his picture here.  As long as I don't fall in the water. 

A Surreal Start Can Only Lead to Trouble



photographed against a green chopping board

 Well it's been a surreal day today.  Firstly because of an unusual wake up call in the form of a random man.  And I'm not talking Mystical Roo because he was up at the crack of dawn to fly back to Brisbane again.  No.  This was an unidentified random man.  I awoke to a strange sound that seemed to me to be a mixture of someone slamming the wardrobe doors - very enthusiastically I might add - and slamming the shower door.  I couldn't understand why anyone would be marching about the house slamming doors.  I immediately blamed the bamboo loving neighbours.  Who else could it be?  But when the blur of sleep finally cleared I realised that it was someone outside my bedroom window.  Outside my bedroom window?  What on earth?!  Just outside the bedroom window is a tin roof, which overhangs the entrance to the hairdressers.  And this morning there was someone thundering around on my tin roof at approximately 07.30.  Again, what on earth?!  The sound of heavy boots mixed with the tin roof did not make for a polite wake up call.  Intrigued, I went to peer out of the curtains.  And almost fell over when I came face to face with a random man and his hosepipe.  There is nothing dodgy about this.  He really was holding a hosepipe.  Then I realised I was in my nightie and should probably back away from the window.  Which I promptly did.  But I had several questions.  Who was this man on the roof?  Why had no one told us there would be a random man on the roof?  Why was the random man on the roof, on the roof so early in the morning?  Why did the random man have a hosepipe?  All in all it was a strange start to the day.  So with a strange start it only seems appropriate to have a strange end.  Therefore I give you Kevin the Carrot (as pictured).  The result of El Kenco + Little Stalky + beer / left over carrot from lunch + hand crafted sunglasses - Mystical Roo.  There has been much giggling.  

Trumpeting Camels and Stalking Peacocks



Henry the koala - he smells like lemons!



 Today, the three of us (Mystical Roo was at work) took a trip to Nowra Wildlife Park and I'm pleased to report that I successfully drove us there - and back - without getting lost once and without satnav.  I was so proud.  I was excited to show El Kenco and Biltong Boy the beautiful park and it's collection of Aussie animals.  We had a good day for it with the weather behaving itself and cunningly selected a midweek visit for maximum avoidance of children.  We met Henry the koala (pictured) who we were able to stroke and smell.  Yes, he smells like lemons.  El Kenco and Biltong Boy had their photo taken with Henry and then El Kenco and I had our photo taken with a massive python.  Very cool.  Even if he was trying to escape!  We fed the roos, started a chorus of howling amongst the dingoes and made a camel trumpet.  Truly hilarious.  We met some very excited goats who were overly pleased to see us and when I mentioned looking at the emus, heard a goat actually say - in a goat voice of course - nooooooo.  Oh, how we laughed.  There were wombats and crocodiles (not in the same enclosure), a tortoise who was rolling in poo, lizards, chooks and monkeys.  I managed to persuade El Kenco and Biltong Boy to take a ride on the slippery dip - that'll be a slide for most of us - we effectively avoided the Americans (no offense) and enjoyed the beautiful location.  El Kenco had a stalker.  In the form of a peacock (also pictured).  Everywhere we looked the peacock was lurking.  I'm pretty sure he followed us around the whole park.  I think he could smell the roo feed.  El Kenco was sure to hide behind me.  I am the "big" sister after all.  Even if she is like a whole foot taller than me.  The peacock was not to be deterred and kept turning up, peeking around a tree, sneaking up the track, pretending to be a roo.  Damned crazy, attention seeking peacock.  I took his picture to try and make him feel better.  I can't be sure that he didn't sneak into the car for the ride back.  For all I know he might be in the back seat as we speak.  Or sneaking up the stairs...But stalking birds aside, we all had a good time.  Now we just need to see a koala in the wild and we'll all be happy.  I won't hold my breath. 

Peacock - He's a stalker!