Under the Influence

Why is it that drinking alcohol makes you do random stuff that you would never do when sober?  I don't drink that much, mainly because I can't handle it and fall asleep but it only takes a glass or two for me to start feeling strangely confident and hyperactive.  Suddenly singing seems to be the best idea ever even though in the sober world, I only sing whilst cleaning, more importantly when no one else is around to hear me!  Unfortunately, Duke and I are now infamous for our rendition(s) of Aerosmith's Dude Looks Like a Lady.  I think someone even managed to get evidence on camera once.  The thing is, we don't learn from past experiences.  We wake up the next morning with dry throats and strange memories of rocking out on the stage.  Was it all a dream?  No, no, we really did do it again.  And you can be certain you won't be the only ones to remember.  But you know you'll do it again.  SingStar nights have been the cause of many memorable renditions.  I had no idea that I could rap when drunk.  Hmmm.  But it's not just embarrassing singing and dancing.  It's the weird ideas that seem excellent at the time.  Me and El Kenco wanted crushed ice for our cocktails.  Crushed ice people, not big ass chunky cubes.  So what do you do when you want crushed ice?  You get a rolling pin and bash the crap out of that bag of ice.  Yes the bag will inevitably split and most of the ice will go flying across the kitchen floor, but you get your crushed ice. And what about when you want to toast a marshmallow but no one's having a BBQ?  Why you toast it with a match of course.  Of course.  It is also important when under the influence, to make sure that your friends and family know how much they're loved.  You must therefore hug your friends and family and tell them you love them.  Very important.  Being drunk is very hard work.  No wonder I always fall asleep on the sofa.