Fear the Hygienist

Today has been my third trip to the dentist in just over a week.  Today, however, I have not been to see the dentist, rather I have been to see the hygienist.  And what a shocking experience that turned out to be.  Don't fear the dentist people.  Feat the hygienist.  Because that's where the pain is really at.  My God!  I know a lot of it is my own fault for putting off the trip for so long but I've never experienced anything like it.  And apparently it was all down to evil calculus.  Not normal calculus.  Evil calculus.  And not mathematical calculus.  This is dental calculus.  The type that builds up on your teeth and gets you into trouble with your hygienist.  The type that makes your hygienist dive into your mouth with a little pick axe and grind away at your teeth.  See, evil calculus!  I think I was in with the hygienist longer than when I was in with the dentist.  After an initial scrape, which isn't altogether pleasant but certainly isn't painful, the hygienist set about removing the calculus.  I have no idea what was going on in my mouth.  There was a tube sucking up rather a lot of blood and the tool that was being used to remove the evil calculus sounded like a drill but felt like a dagger to my gums.  It was like teeny tiny sticks were being rammed underneath my teeth at speed.  Cringe does not even begin to cover my reaction.  I was told to raise my hand if it became too much but I was determined to be a good patient and work through the pain.  I think my entire body went stiff apart from my feet which were jigging away.  My eyes must have told of my pain as the hygienist kept apologising but made a point of telling me I was doing very well.  All I could think about was how long it was going to take.  When would the ordeal be over.  But it just seemed to go on and on and I think I exhausted myself just trying to focus on not focusing on the pain.  You hear people talking about how they think past the pain and push through it.  There was no amount of sweet distributing bunny action going on in my brain that was going to make me forget the chiseling that was going on in my mouth.  Who are these people that can think through the pain.  They're hardcore.  Or they've never been to see the hygienist.  When it was all over I felt a little light headed and couldn't help running my tongue around my mouth where it now feels like there are massive gaps between each tooth.  Then I had a polish, which was much better.  Then I got to swish some fluoride and was told rather specifically not to swallow it.  Then I was told I couldn't eat or drink for half an hour, which was a blow considering how hungry I was.  And when someone tells you that you can't do something it only makes you want to do it even more.  But I behaved.  And was relieved when the dentist announced that overall my teeth were very healthy and I wouldn't be needing any more fillings or what not.  But they want to see me again in six months and keep on top of the evil calculus.  Go back?  Go back to the hygienist.  But it was agony.  And I didn't even get a sticker or a lolly pop.  Though I did get given a toothbrush and some toothpaste.  Not the same though is it.  It's hard to imagine how I'll motivate myself to go back again.  A lot of pain for a lot of money.  What's in it for me?  Oh yeah, healthy teeth.  I guess that's important.