The Dangers of Letting Mystical Roo and Little Stalky Come In For a Cup of Tea

Yesterday, Mystical Roo and I were faced with a rainy Saturday, no spending money and a lack of ideas for what to do with the day.  We did what any self respecting person would do.  We went to inflict ourselves on friends and relatives.  In this case we went to inflict ourselves on Monster Noggin.  We invited ourselves around for a cup of tea.  A cup of tea turned into poached egg on toast.  Poached egg on toast led to conversation.  Conversation led to coffee.  Coffee led to lunch.  We were sat there, Mystical Roo, Monster Noggin and I, unable to think of what to do with such a wet Saturday.  We came to the conclusion that it was the ideal duvet day.  A day to laze about, eat food and not do very much.  Sounds a bit like Christmas in July.  And talking about Christmas in July, we decided that we would retrieve the left over beer from that event.  We would collect comedy DVDs.  We would return to Monster Noggin's house and watch comedy DVDs and drink beer.  An excellent plan.  But first...more clothes.  Monster Noggin's house was freezing.  It's a big space to heat and with the heater not working it was just a big cold space.  So, first to Mystical Roo's and Little Stalky's.  Collect clothes and scarves but decide that gloves and hats are excessive.  Then, on to Treacle's and Ammy's to retrieve the aforementioned beer.  Decide that spinning in the lift is a good idea.  Monster Noggin feels momentarily dizzy.  Beer is retrieved.  As is Treacle.  Treacle becomes the chauffeur so that he can snaffle the car from us.  On to Woolworths where we can pick up sushi for lunch and get in a bit of Trolley Dude spotting whilst we're there.  Trolley Dude is spotted.  Twice.  Trolley Dude has shed his hat and glasses.  He's back out in the open.  Sushi is purchased.  Then, on to the pharmacy as Monster Noggin and Little Stalky have stuff to get.  Men opt out of this mission and choose to guard the vehicle.  Women return.  Back to Monster Noggins house where fabulous flatmate manages to get the fire started.  Heat!  We snuggle up on the sofa with sushi, beer and blankets and end up watching Jimmy Carr, Ricky Gervais and Michael McIntyre before napping occurs.  One, two, three people asleep on the sofa.  Blankets and beer are a dangerous combination.  We awake.  A Domino's advert convinces us that pizza is in order and more DVDs are required.  Now we need films.  Pizza and films.  But we're minus a vehicle.  We phone five different numbers to try and snaffle a lift but everyone ignores us.  We head out into the wintry night and walk to Bob-A-Roony's and Duke's where we expect to find a vehicle.  Hill of doom causes Little Stalky to nearly die. Monster Noggin and Mystical Roo are too fit for their own good.  A piggy back would have been nice.  Selfish.  The vehicle is spotted.  The vehicle is snaffled and we're on the move again.  Back to the DVD store.  Little Stalky is banned from picking DVDs.  DVDs are selected and Mystical Roo has ordered pizza on his magical phone of magic.  Back to the vehicle.  Pizza is acquired.  Back to Monster Noggin's house, which is now warm.  To the sofas with pizza, DVDs and a delicious drink of lemon, lime and bitters with magical fizzy water.  Everything is magical.  Pizza is eaten.  DVDs are watched.  Monster Noggin falls asleep on the sofa. There's possibly dribble.  Films finish and Mystical Roo consults his watch.  23.00.  It's confirmed we should probably go home.  Mystical Roo and Monster Noggin have to work in the morning (Sunday work - boo!) and sleep is needed.  Mystical Roo and Little Stalky thank Monster Noggin for her hospitality and head home.  The moral of this story?  Never let Mystical Roo and Little Stalky come round for a cup of tea unless you're prepared to accept the fact that they may not leave for thirteen hours.  It's your choice.  Or is it..................