Stupid Iron

I think I've broken my iron.  Actually, lets just say that the iron is broken because I'm not convinced that it was actually me that broke it.  Yes, I'm the only one that uses it but let's be honest, how wrong can one go when doing the ironing?!  It's not like I've been bashing the thing against a wall or whacking it with a hammer.  I've been using it to iron clothes.  And that's its job.  I even use the little iron cleaning facility that's meant to prevent a build up of calcium.  Or something along those lines.  I feel I've done nothing wrong.  But this iron has been getting worse and worse and yesterday it just failed altogether.  It wouldn't heat up and then decided to go and blow out smoke, which, by the way, set off the fire alarm.  I wasn't impressed.  It's not that I enjoy ironing as such but if I set out to do a task then I want to finish it.  As it happens I couldn't even start it.  Because by iron decided to snuff it.  Great work iron.  Good job.  Now I'm going to have to buy a new iron and that's not the kind of thing I enjoy spending money on.  Yes, I have a lot of clothes that don't require ironing but how does one get around shirts and t-shirts?  I can hardly send Mystical Roo out looking all crumpled.  Because I'll be judged.  They won't blame him.  They'll blame me.  Bad, abusive girlfriend who doesn't do the ironing.  It's not my fault!  The iron made me do it!  Or rather the iron refused to do it.  And the other annoying thing is the fact that I've had this iron for less than two years.  It's worth about $80 and I honestly thought it was going to do the job.  I would have been better off getting myself a $20 thing.  At least then I wouldn't have been surprised if it conked out after 2 years.  Stupid iron.  What kind of $80 iron can't handle 2 years.  It's only me and Mystical Roo!  It's not like I do a lot of ironing.  Stupid iron.  I'm going to buy a new iron and then show the old iron the new iron and then make the old iron feel bad because I've got a new iron.  The old iron can go and hang out with the old washing machine and join the pile of household items that are out to get me.  Actually, maybe I'd better separate them.  I don't want them ganging up on me or anything.  Either way the current iron is getting the boot.  Stupid iron.