The Washing Machine Departs

Woe is me, the washing machine has finally snuffed it.  We've been arguing for a while now and it's been trying to escape the laundry room ever since we moved in but now it's had the last laugh.  The washing machine is dead and it didn't go quietly either.  I tried to appease it but it was out of control and I had to flee for fear of my life.  Now there is silence and the war has ended.  But really, are there any winners?  The washing machine chose to self destruct rather than accept another load of pants belonging to Mystical Roo.  It's a sad day for Little Stalkys and washing machines alike.  Why couldn't we have just sorted out our differences.  Now I'm forced to deal with my loss by compiling a spreadsheet to establish the best deal for a new washing machine.  Too soon?  Perhaps.  But if I don't take action then who knows how long we'll go before I can put on another load.  What if Mystical Roo has to turn his pants inside out?  Or worse, go commando.  There'll be chaos.  Utter chaos.  No, the spreadsheet is a necessary evil.  So I say, fare thee well washing machine.  You never liked me.  You were more than likely out to get me and were certainly in league with the remote controls.  But you did your job.  And if it weren't for you then we'd be walking around wearing bags.  There will now be a gap in our lives...specifically located in the laundry room next to the sink and underneath the tumble dryer.  And we won't be able to fill that gap...until we've found a suitable replacement.  Let's hope the next washing machine we own is somewhat less aggressive!