Evil Shoes of Doom Cause Harm to Toe Belonging to Little Stalky

Yes my toes are that ugly

So for our trip to the theatre I decided to wear a pretty red dress and pretty red shoes.  Now I have two pairs of pretty red shoes - one with vaguely reasonable heels and one with with sky high, crazy, ridiculous heels.  Sensible gal that I am I opted for the vaguely reasonable heels.  I figured we'd be walking to the theatre and I didn't want to have painful feet.  I went for the safe option.  Or so I thought.  I must admit, I haven't actually worn these shoes for a good few years but I remember wearing them at a Christmas party and they seemed to be ok.  So either my feet have grown, the shoes have shrunk or there was evil at work that night because we'd walked less than five minutes when my toe actually started bleeding.  Bleeding!  It was the evil peep toe that did it.  Honestly, never trust a peep toe.  The shoes weren't even really hurting when I felt a trickle of blood run down my toe.  I looked down and was less than impressed to see a nasty gash and a bleeding toe.  Sure it matched the red theme of the night but it's not exactly classy.  Luckily for me it was dark.  When we arrived at the theatre I made my excuses - told Mystical Roo I had a bleeding toe - and then disappeared to the bathroom where much bog roll was used to mop up the blood.  This seemed to do the trick and I was able to enjoy the performance without fear of bleeding over the carpet.  My toe was stinging all the way home and although Mystical Roo suggested I remove my shoes I didn't like the idea of barefooting it down the street.  I particularly didn't like the idea of barefooting it through reception either.  With a bleeding toe.  With that and the x-trail we may well have been tossed out.  So I foolishly persevered and when we arrived back at the hotel I was relieved to sit down.  The only thing was, when I went to remove my shoe I discovered that the shoe had become fused to my toe.  Fused with blood.  Disgusting.  Very disgusting.  And painful!  I had to prise that shoe off my foot whilst swearing never to wear them again.  Never, ever!  So I bet you're thinking those shoes have hit the bin.  But no.  They're actually back in the shoe cupboard.  You know, just in case.  I hate to throw things away.  Even evil shoes of doom.