Little Stalky Can't Dance

With Mystical Roo's work, he is often up at the crack of dawn to go and work on site.  Sometimes I sleep through his alarm and his shufflings as he gets ready.  Sometimes - if he's lucky - he gets a vague grunt from under the bed covers as I wish him a good day.  It might not sound like I'm wishing him a good day but honestly, that's what it is.  Today, however, I broke all norms and actually got up with Mystical Roo.  At about 06.10.  Ok, it was a little bit after Mystical Roo, after a cup of tea had been made for me, but it was still pretty early.  I was having one of those mornings where I was just awake.  I was awake and I needed a wee.  I figured I may as well just get up.  So I farewelled Mystical Roo and Bob-a-Roony as they went off for the day and poured myself some oats - woo oats!  By 06.30 I'd finished breakfast and thought maybe I'd make use of my early start to do some exercise.  I don't like doing exercise - I find it really boring - but it's one of those things we all have to do.  I actually wanted to do something a bit more energetic than yoga but didn't fancy going out for a run.  So I dug out the official Dirty Dancing workout DVD.  I bought this years ago back in England but never actually used it.  I liked the idea of getting my Stalky groove on to official music from the official film.  I wondered how I'd reenact the famous woman-being-balanced-above-head-of-muscular-man without Mystical Roo but figured I could use the sofa.  I think I made several mistakes with this DVD.  One, never trust an official DVD because no matter how official the thing might be it doesn't mean it will be any good.  Two, I can't actually dance.  I have no rhythm.  I don't know why I do this to myself.  I've tried dance DVDs before only to find myself confused, unable to keep up, unable to follow the moves, unable to coordinate my feet and ultimately very frustrated.  I remember wailing to Mystical Roo that I couldn't salsa like the girls on the DVD.  Makes a Little Stalky feel inadequate.  So anyway, I don't know why I thought the Dirty Dancing DVD would be any different.  I can confirm it wasn't.  Once again I was left shouting at the TV screen, demanding the other dancers slow down.  It's a good job there were no witnesses to my early morning routine. Honestly, I looked ridiculous.  I grape vined with little enthusiasm and then cringed when I was forced to do jazz hands.  For someone who comes from a theatrical background, I don't get on well with cheesy dance routines.  So I was getting frustrated with the DVD, frustrated with myself and then I had to put up with the ridiculous presenters and their awkward dialogue as they fought to outshine one another with their fun attitudes. Yuck.  No one needs that kind of crap before 07.00.  They really don't.  Not only that, but the promised music - you know, the official music - never actually made an appearance.  There was some sort of instrumental nonsense going on in the background but it was nothing that was going to put me in the mood to dance.  You'd get better music in a lift!  So I'm trying to dance along to the Dirty Dancing official workout with the most unnatural and annoying presenter type people in the world, tinny music that doesn't sound anything close to the soundtrack of the film and my own feet, which completely refuse to cooperate.  I had to do some yoga just to calm myself down again!