Horned Caterpillars of Doom!

Those damned lemon munching caterpillars are back.  With a vengeance.  They really creep me out.  I'd always thought of caterpillars as being kind of cute.  You know, green little fellas with furry backs.  Harmlessly eating their way through other people's plants.  But these horned beasts are just grotesque.  Brown and white.  Slimy.  Horned!  And quite possibly devil caterpillars!  I found six of them feasting on my lemon tree this morning.  One of them was just huge.  He was an obese caterpillar.  The caterpillar who'd eaten all the pies.  The caterpillar who, if he sat on other caterpillars, would squash them.  The caterpillar who probably gets out of breath just moving.  He was a beast.  I was determined to rid the plant of this plague but there was no way I was going to touch one.  I'm still pretty sure that if they got the chance, these caterpillars would take a chunk out of my finger.  They're horned for Christ's sake!  Yuck.  I went in search of my recently purchased secateurs and went about scraping them from the leaves.  Not an easy task.  These bad boys hold on really tight.  And they totally lunge for you.  They certainly put up a fight.  This time there was no placing them on the railing.  They were destroyed.  Then unceremoniously dumped over the side of the balcony.  I hope there was no one down there.  If there was they may have had horned caterpillars of doom landing on their head.  If so, I apologise.  Hopefully they've just become food for the birds.  Pesky little things.  My poor lemon tree is now full of holes.  I'm not happy.  I can see another war a brewing.  Between me and the horned caterpillars of doom.  But what's a girl to do?  The lemon tree needs my protection!