Step Away From the Wine

I can be a bit clumsy sometimes.  A lot of the time actually.  I drop things, trip over things, walk into things, walk into people, fall out of things, fall onto things.  I'm notorious for spilling wine at the moment and that's never a good thing.  Not only because of the spillage but because it's a waste of wine.  And you'd think that my spilling wine would be accidentally knocking over the glass, bashing it with my elbow or knocking the table.  Actually, it's down to my butter fingers.  Three times now I've gone to reach for a glass of wine, touched the glass of wine with my fingers, only for the glass to slide out of my reach and topple over.  It seems to happen in slow motion in my eyes.  I try to stop it but there's nothing that I can do.  So I stare in wide eyed horror as wine is sent flying.  It happened when Mystical Roo and I were out for a drink and I smashed the glass and everything.  That was embarrassing.  I'm not drunk, honestly.  Just clumsy.  Please don't kick me out.  I sent a glass of red flying whilst Mystical Roo was cooking dinner.  That went everywhere.  The weird thing about that was that the glass never actually tipped over.  It was just jerked so violently - and was so full (ahem) - that red wine was launched in all directions.  It went over the counter, over the floor, over the cupboard doors, over me, over the bin.  It even leapt up and found it's way into Mystical Roo's glass of white wine, thus rendering it almost a rose.  Big whoops.  It was an incident a night or so ago that got me thinking about this.  When I sent an actual glass of rose tumbling across the floor.  That was infuriating.  I was very much looking forward to that and once again I reached for the glass, lost my grip and sent the thing over on it's side.  It went all over the carpet.  Gah!  And all over the wall.  It wasn't until the next morning that I noticed the pink stains on the wall.  Luckily for me they wiped away nice and easily.  And luckily for me we have a very dark carpet.  Unluckily for me I wasn't able to salvage any of the wine, which I'd been looking forward to.  But I think there's a clear message here.  Little Stalky needs to step away from the bottle!