Little Stalky Jogs Home from Work

I decided to jog home from work for the first time in rather a long time and I was reminded of how very unfit I really am.  I have just terrible stamina and it only takes a few moments before I'm panting for breath.  The trouble is I forget to pace myself.  I launch straight into a full on run thinking how wonderful it is to be getting towards home at a faster pace, forgetting that by going into a full on run that I won't be able to sustain my speed.  Then it's not long before my chest is burning and I'm wondering whether I can just casually turn my run into a walk without looking like a goon.  I'm sure no one's paying attention to me as I run but I can't help but think I'll be judged for giving up on the run and turning back to walking.  So I try to slow it to a jog, then to a power walk and as my legs turn to jelly I only just manage to look like a sober person.  If I have to cross the road then I get an opportunity to stop.  Or rather to stop, look and listen.  Before walking across the road.  Never run across the road.  So this is a good excuse for me to slide back into a walk.  Walking across the road, walking across the road, oh look I'm on the other side and I'm still walking.  I was always walking and who are you to tell me otherwise!  Ha!  Foiled.  But it's not just my unhealthy nature that has me struggling with a jog but my trusty rucksack too.  I think it would actually help if the thing was heavier because that might stop it from swinging around so much.  Every step I took the bag would swing this way and then the other.  It nearly took me off balance a couple of times.  That would be great wouldn't it.  One foot in front of the other, left, right, left, right and oh God I've landed in a bush!  Thrust into the foliage by an over enthusiastic rucksack.  Other pavement users have to give me a wide berth lest they be thwacked (another official term) in the face with the trusty rucksack.  I tried holding it in place but that just resulted in an awkward running technique as I like to move my arms.  So I had to put up with the swinging rucksack and focus extra attention to staying in a straight line.  Next time I'll have to fill it with rocks.  I was also foiled by my shoelace - the right one in fact - that always decides to come loose.  I double knot it and everything!  But it always comes undone and it's always the right trainer.  That could have led to all sorts of drama.  Walking with a shoelace undone is one thing but running with a shoelace undone?  I could have landed splat on my face.  Or in the bush again.  Or in a dustbin.  So when spying the shoelace I can't help but ponder if this calls for another slow down from the run.  Can I just stop and tie the shoe lace or do I have to go down the route of jogging, walking, stumbling and stopping.  I just stopped.  Another good excuse for a breather.  I met an abundance of fellow pavement users on the way home and that just makes things even trickier.  Fellow pavement users get in the way.  And it's not so much the ones coming towards you that are the problem because they can see you and get out of the way.  Well most of them do anyway.  It's the ones you're coming up behind that really prove to be problematic.  They're like obstacles intent on ruining your rhythm.  And it's like they don't even know you're there.  I mean, maybe the don't, but with my clomping feet staggering up combined with my panting and heavy breathing, you can't not hear me coming.  And to be honest if I heard someone clomping up behind me whilst breathing heavily, I'd be out of there!  Listening to my i-pod I can picture myself as a character from some computer game, running along and trying to avoid hitting anyone.  Move the joystick to the left, to the right.  Double click and I'll jump.  Bah!  So with so much energy focused on actually running, the etiquette of stopping running and controlling the trusty rucksack how am I supposed to cope with trying to dodge obstacles as well.  It's all too much for one afternoon.  Maybe if I put more energy into the actual exercise and less into over thinking the idea of exercise I might get better results.  But it certainly wouldn't be as much fun!