The things that come out of the washing machine after I've done Mystical Roo's laundry. Honestly! Money, pebbles, stones, string, plastic bags, rubber gloves, pens, coupons. It's madness. No wonder the last washing machine had a tantrum. And by now I should know better. Don't put anything of Mystical Roos in the wash without first checking the pockets. But I have a thing about sticking my hand in pockets that aren't my own. It freaks me out a little bit. You never know what you might find. Especially in this country. A freakin' spider could have settled down for the night and I don't want to be the one to disturb it. So when I did a wash the other day I absentmindedly chucked in a load and so didn't see the bloody pen that was in the pocket of a pair of Mystical Roo work trousers. No I did not. And to be honest I've had pens in there before and it's been fine. But not this time. Oh no. This time that bloody pen decided to explode in the wash and leak ink over the contents. And of course it couldn't have gone over Mystical Roo's resin covered, dirt covered, stone covered, I-look-dirty-even-when-I'm-clean work clothes. No, it had to seek out other normal clothes. My work shirt for example. And on later inspection, my pink top. And my other pink top. And Mystical Roo's t-shirt. I suppose I should be glad that more clothes weren't lost in this disaster but I wish it had never happened at all. I've since tried to challenge the ink stains. Take on their dastardly inkiness and attack them with all kinds of stain remover. But to no avail. I even went out and bought some new liquid stain remover stuff that I thought would do the job but I ended up arguing with the bottle and then had two battles on my hand. I don't know who invents these things but it was nearly impossible for me to get the lid off of that bottle. Are these things only invented for men or people with really big hands? Because my little paws were having a huge struggle. It was one of those lids where you have to squeeze and turn. Squeeze. And turn. Simple? Not so bloody simple. I squeezed but nothing would turn. I obviously wasn't squeezing hard enough but I was giving it my all and there's only so much squeezing a Little Stalky can do! I figured it needed both of my hands to squeeze from either side. But with both hands squeezing, how could I do any turning? It was simply not possible. Either I was to grow a third hand, find someone else with a third hand, or think of another option. So, another option. I ended up lugging the bottle onto the floor and wedged it between my knees. I would hold the thing in place, squeeze with both hands and use my body to twist the lid off. Well I know you're trying to visualise this in your head but let me tell you, it worked! Victory for Little Stalky. Little Stalky 1, pink plastic bottle of stain remover 0. Bow down before my excellence! Ahem. And I know Mystical Roo could have taken the lid off with one hand, blindfolded, whilst taming a scorpion with the other hand. Hell, he could probably do it with just the power of his mind, but for a Little Stalky home alone, I was proud of myself. Even if I did get somewhat angry. The disappointing thing was that even after I'd managed to win my battle with the stain remover I then went on to lose the battle against the ink. After being soaked with stain remover, rubbed, left to soak and then put in a super wash it was still very much present. I opened the lid of the washing machine with a hopeful little face and could do nothing but sadly hang my head as I realised my pink top was still marred by an ugly blue stain. The thing you've got to ask yourself is why I've hung these items out to dry?! Maybe I'm hopeful that the sun will somehow bleach away the stain but I guess that's unlikely. Maybe I'll have to start a new trend of ink stained clothes. Or maybe I'll have to bite the bullet and accept that some things need to move on to clothes heaven. One thing's for sure, whether I like it or not I'll be checking all pockets from now on! And if I find another rogue pen. May God help us all. 06 November 2010
Rogue Pens and Pink Stain Remover Bottles of Doom!
The things that come out of the washing machine after I've done Mystical Roo's laundry. Honestly! Money, pebbles, stones, string, plastic bags, rubber gloves, pens, coupons. It's madness. No wonder the last washing machine had a tantrum. And by now I should know better. Don't put anything of Mystical Roos in the wash without first checking the pockets. But I have a thing about sticking my hand in pockets that aren't my own. It freaks me out a little bit. You never know what you might find. Especially in this country. A freakin' spider could have settled down for the night and I don't want to be the one to disturb it. So when I did a wash the other day I absentmindedly chucked in a load and so didn't see the bloody pen that was in the pocket of a pair of Mystical Roo work trousers. No I did not. And to be honest I've had pens in there before and it's been fine. But not this time. Oh no. This time that bloody pen decided to explode in the wash and leak ink over the contents. And of course it couldn't have gone over Mystical Roo's resin covered, dirt covered, stone covered, I-look-dirty-even-when-I'm-clean work clothes. No, it had to seek out other normal clothes. My work shirt for example. And on later inspection, my pink top. And my other pink top. And Mystical Roo's t-shirt. I suppose I should be glad that more clothes weren't lost in this disaster but I wish it had never happened at all. I've since tried to challenge the ink stains. Take on their dastardly inkiness and attack them with all kinds of stain remover. But to no avail. I even went out and bought some new liquid stain remover stuff that I thought would do the job but I ended up arguing with the bottle and then had two battles on my hand. I don't know who invents these things but it was nearly impossible for me to get the lid off of that bottle. Are these things only invented for men or people with really big hands? Because my little paws were having a huge struggle. It was one of those lids where you have to squeeze and turn. Squeeze. And turn. Simple? Not so bloody simple. I squeezed but nothing would turn. I obviously wasn't squeezing hard enough but I was giving it my all and there's only so much squeezing a Little Stalky can do! I figured it needed both of my hands to squeeze from either side. But with both hands squeezing, how could I do any turning? It was simply not possible. Either I was to grow a third hand, find someone else with a third hand, or think of another option. So, another option. I ended up lugging the bottle onto the floor and wedged it between my knees. I would hold the thing in place, squeeze with both hands and use my body to twist the lid off. Well I know you're trying to visualise this in your head but let me tell you, it worked! Victory for Little Stalky. Little Stalky 1, pink plastic bottle of stain remover 0. Bow down before my excellence! Ahem. And I know Mystical Roo could have taken the lid off with one hand, blindfolded, whilst taming a scorpion with the other hand. Hell, he could probably do it with just the power of his mind, but for a Little Stalky home alone, I was proud of myself. Even if I did get somewhat angry. The disappointing thing was that even after I'd managed to win my battle with the stain remover I then went on to lose the battle against the ink. After being soaked with stain remover, rubbed, left to soak and then put in a super wash it was still very much present. I opened the lid of the washing machine with a hopeful little face and could do nothing but sadly hang my head as I realised my pink top was still marred by an ugly blue stain. The thing you've got to ask yourself is why I've hung these items out to dry?! Maybe I'm hopeful that the sun will somehow bleach away the stain but I guess that's unlikely. Maybe I'll have to start a new trend of ink stained clothes. Or maybe I'll have to bite the bullet and accept that some things need to move on to clothes heaven. One thing's for sure, whether I like it or not I'll be checking all pockets from now on! And if I find another rogue pen. May God help us all. 
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Have you considered changing the title of your blog to 'Little Stalky of Doom'?
ReplyDeleteI'd like to tell you about my recent adventure with an indelible black felt tipped pen, but I think you sound depressed enough.
By the way, I used to own a shirt that looked as if I'd just had a nosebleed; it was much admired!
It's probably happened to us all at least once. You're just going to have to brave those scary pockets and check them out before loading the machine. As for child proof bottles....aaaargh!
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