Little Stalky Goes to Jamberoo

Today we've been up to Jamberoo action park, the biggest park in NSW, the only park in NSW, the water park.  And we cunningly selected a midweek day, outside of school holidays and when it was overcast to avoid the queues and have the rides all to ourselves.  Ok, we were hoping for seriously hot weather but what can you do.  It was amazingly quiet though and we didn't have to queue for a single thing.  It was like we had the run of the park, picking and choosing our rides without having to wait.  And I'm impatient so I was very happy.  We went on Surf Hill, which is one of those slides where you go down head first on mats.  It's also a race so appealed to my competitive side.  Unfortunately, being a Little Stalky does not make for a speedy ride.  In fact, being a Little Stalky normally means you're a whole hump behind everyone else unless you cheat and sneak off before the lights show green.  Even when cheating I only stay ahead for a few seconds.  The heavier you are, the faster you go.  I might have lost, constantly, but it's still my favourite ride.  We forced El Kenco to jump off The Rock.  Mystical Roo, Biltong Boy and I had already leapt into the water but El Kenco kept wimping out!  And she's meant to be the brave one.  We were all egging her on from below, telling her it was fine, that it wasn't scary, that her bikini would stay on, that the small child who'd just resurfaced wasn't balling her eyes out.  Finally she took the plunge but I don't think she thanked us for it.  So, El Kenco doesn't do jumping off of rocks but she does go on the biggest, scariest ride, in the world.  Ever.  The Taipan.  I refused to go on this ride, despite much cajoling from the others.  I went on it once before and swore I would never do it again.  I should have listened to the signs.  Extreme thrill ride.  Do not go on if you're pregnant, have  high blood pressure, have heart issues, are of a nervous disposition, are physically or intellectually challenged (what the?), etc. etc.  But Mystical Roo assured me it was great fun.  Not scary at all.  Monster Noggin had remarked that it was slow.  These are the same people who forced me to go on the dreaded Air roller coaster at Alton Towers so God knows why I trusted them again.  I literally went foetal on that ride.  I had my head in Mystical Roo's lap and my feet in the lap of some poor soul and I screamed all the way down.  It was awful.  So today, as much as everyone persuaded me I wanted to hop in the rubber ring and enjoy the Taipan, I simply refused.  El Kenco even tried to lure me with the promise of a warm breeze.  A warm breeze?  I was happy to wait for them at the end and listen to El Kenco's screams as they descended.  We bobbed along the river rapids, entertaining ourselves with comical poses and avoiding - unsuccessfully I might add - Mystical Roo who was intent on directing my rubber ring into the path of jets of water, waterfalls and other such wet things.  After a day in the water we dried off and decided to try out the go-karts.  We hadn't bothered last time as the queue was silly, but today there was no one there, so we figured, why not.  These go-karts were the most rickety and juddery things in the world, but I took the lead and held it until the race was cut short.  Cut short because of some dingbat (a word we should all use more often) who decided to drive his go-kart across the grass in an attempt at some sort of tom foolery.  Stupid man.  He nearly crashed into El Kenco, who I can tell you would not have been happy.  She's feisty!  The attendant called off the race and we all had to leave.  All because of some dingbat.  I like to think I won though.  It was a good day and everyone seemed to have fun.  I think we're all exhausted though.  As I write this I've got Mystical Roo asleep next to me - with his feet on the laptop - , El Kenco asleep on the other sofa and Biltong Boy, somewhere, also asleep.  I feel a bit left out.  Maybe I should have a nap too.  Nap and then dinner.  Sounds good to me!