El Kenco Feeds the Birds

El Kenco has been getting in touch with her inner Mary Poppins today, her inner Snow White, and has been feeding the birds.  This started first thing this morning when this monster bird landed on the balcony and appeared to be eyeing up my tomatoes.  El Kenco's solution for deterring the bird?  Feed it some cereal.  Or some Special K to be precise.  My God, that bird did not need any more food.  It was huge.  It was massive.  It was an obese bird.  It should have been wearing a bird moomoo.  It was so plump that it looked like it was about to pop.  It appeared to be having trouble moving.  It was waddling.  I wasn't sure it could fly.  I'm not sure that bird would have made it down to the tomatoes even if it had wanted to.  It didn't seem that interested in the Special K.  By the size of the thing I would say it lives on a diet of cheeseburgers and chocolate.  And possibly other birds.  And land dwelling sharks.  Massive!  After being shunned by the obese bird El Kenco was wooed by the pigeon with the quiff.  A pigeon she promptly dubbed Jedward.  Having been out of England for a few years now, I'd vaguely heard of Jedward but wasn't really sure who - or what - they were.  El Kenco explained that they have weird hair, which was why the pigeon was called Jedward.  El Kenco was determined to feed Jedward the remains of our lunchtime pie and was happily throwing scraps onto the grass.  She was most perturbed by the arrival of some pushy seagulls.  Bullies!  El Kenco set about removing the seagulls by chasing them off and let Jedward eat in peace.  The pigeon with the quiff seemed quite content to sit by our feet, nibbling pieces of pie, whilst El Kenco put the seagulls in their place.  She was disappointed when the pigeon with the quiff decided he was full and flew off into a nearby tree.  She's still looking out the window wondering if Jedward will return.